The rules are mostly here.

But how we know you ain’t from around here is that cussin’ ain’t hardly allowed in the discussin’.  My 85 year old Baptist mother comes here and while she will occasionally put up with damn or hell, if she can’t get to you, she will wash my mouth out with soap for having your cussing on my website. Odds are pretty good, though, that she will get to you.

Occasionally I can sneak in sumbitch because she hasn’t figured that one out yet.

Now I’m headed to Austin on Monday and will be doing the circus trick of writing stuff on a cellphone.  I can approve your comments there, too.  However, and I truly mean this, I will not have time or the inclination to clean up your language before I approve your comment. That’s fair warning.

I’m taking a power strip and a charger to the rally.  Wish me luck!

Wendy Davis Eyes is my personal favorite.

The Bright Light Social Hour composes Wendy Davis (Texas Ellen’s personal favorite.)

If ya hear of any more, let us know.

High Noon, Monday, July 1st, on the south steps of the Texas capitol. Be there or don’t make history.

It will be hot.  Bring water for yourself, and a fan and a chair for me.  Wear orange.

You can sign up right here on Facebook. Or put it in the comments and I will pass it along.

These super cool tee-shirt will be for sale for $25.  The profit goes to Planned Parenthood, Battleground Texas, and – my personal favorite – the Texas Democratic Party.  Hey, we’ve got a new address – You can order one right here!

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Look familiar?

Let’s do this thing.  I will be getting another update tonight so I will post any new information here.

Yes, I am going.  I will (un)blog from there but you damn well better appreciate it because posting from a cell phone is like nailing jello to the wall.

UPDATE:  Here’s the OFFICIAL Facebook page — https://www.facebook.com/StandWithTXWomen

And the twitter hashtag is #swtw (stand with Texas women)  My twitter handle is @crabbait  Go get a twitter account NOW.  That’s where the revolution will be fought.

UPDATE:  Many of you have asked where to send gas money.  I can personally assure you that money will sent to me will go for that purpose and any other emergency that arises during this special session.  You can use Act Blue to donate to Making Government Work.  Use the Tell Juanita button above to let me know you donated.  I am on the Board of Directors of this PAC so you know it will be carefully handled.  I’m having all kinds of trouble with my email today so let me publicly thank Barbara from California for the generous donation to the Making Government Work PAC.

You can follow Juanita Jean on Facebook by LIKING this page.

If you think I’m goofy here – I’m real goofy on Facebook.

I never did catch on to the Twitter thing, but if I start trying again, I’ll let you know.

Remember crazy ole Allen West?

Sure ya do.  Sarah Palin’s friend from Florida who served one very loud term in congress.  He once announced that “there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party that are members of the Communist Party.”  Oh heck, West, that’s not right.  It’s much, much higher than that.  Last time I counted it was 3,453,211.

So, instead of sliding into obscurity after he got beat, he has founded the Allen West Guardian Fund to support himself.  You know, kinda like an electronic tin cup with pencils in it.

Today, he is running a contest to see who should be the GOP Presidential nominee.  The pickin’s are slim.  Uncharacteristically humble, West left his name off of it this time.

They require an email address so make one up or get on his mailing list for more fun!  Please vote for Rick Perry.  Puleeeese.  Oh dear God in heaven above, let Rick Perry be the GOP nominee.

One other thing, whenever I think about it I go to TomDeLay.com just to see what he’s trying to sell today.  Lookie what I got this morning.  Click the little one to get the big one.

I think that means he’s OFFICIALLY toxic now.

I take some pride in that.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Y’all, to be perfectly honest, I’m getting real scared to go to the doctor in Texas.  It appears that none of them took anatomy, physiology, or the birds and the bees.

Texas State Sen. Bob Deuell, who says he is a board certified family physician, announced in the senate debate that “accurate intercourse” was necessary for pregnancy.  According to State Rep. Dawnna Dukes:

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Not to be indelicate (mainly because Momma is reading this), but accurate intercourse is an odd term.  Would it require target practice?  A tattooed bull’s eye perhaps?  Or maybe a teacher standing by to grade it?

I suspect this is not as easy as you would expect which explains, of course, why there are more cows in Texas than people.  Because it’s a whole lotta bull, ya know.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.