I’ve been married to Ole Bubba for 43 years next month.  He will not put his hand in my purse.  Ever.  My purse scares him.

If I say, “Honey, grab my wallet out of my purse,” he will bring me my purse, holding it at arm’s length, and hand it to me.

He says that he’s almost certain that that once early in our marriage he found human body parts, a fishing rod and bait, and the code for nuclear detonation in my purse and he’s not going back.

The reason I’m telling you this is that the Texas Department of Public Safety, already under roars for laughter for confiscating dangerous feminine hygiene products, is claiming that women tried to sneak in bottles of feces to the Senate gallery during the women’s rights debate.

Now, while no one has be able to find any DPS officers, reporters, or eyewitnesses who actually saw this,  DPS chief Steve McCraw says we need to accept his word that it happened.

State Rep. Donna Howard, D-Austin, has questioned the statement since DPS initially released it Friday. Howard sent a letter to McCraw on Monday, asking, among other things, why there was no evidence to back up reports that such items were found or seized.

McCraw wrote that “the department never took possession of these items and had no justification to do so. The possession of these and other items is not a crime, and therefore, there was no basis to arrest and detain visitors who possessed such items; however, they were denied access unless they discarded the items.”

So, it’s legal to carry around bottled feces in Texas, which comes as a great relief to Republican legislators – who have been carrying around pails of it for their corporate overlords and religious zealots for decades.

And there’s more purse secrets:

McCraw added to the list of items that were confiscated and discarded by police including “paint, confetti, glitter, bottles of bubbles, bags of balloons (not inflated), handheld air horns, a bag full of tomatoes” and two bricks, which were being used to prop doors open and were not going to be used as projectiles, he said.

And there’s something unusual about that?  I’ve been to the grocery store with all that in my purse, plus a small fan, an extra pair of shoes and a chargers to three electronic devices I no longer own.

This is Texas, Bub.  I know women who carry tool boxes in their purses.  Big ‘uns.

Texas Monthly suggests that maybe, just maybe, Democrats in Texas are ready to make a come back.

For the first time in decades we have a deep bench and a passel of pissed off people.

Lewis Black sends Texas a New York City postcard, attention Rick Perry.

It’s poetic and charming.

This is not work or Momma safe.

It is however, funny as hell.

Okay, y’all are gonna think I’m kidding about this but I ain’t.

Texas Governor Rick Perry is going to sign SB2 tomorrow at “an undisclosed location.” I seriously doubt it’s on the feminine hygiene aisle at your local drug store.

But, since he’s made government fit inside a uterus, you better check yours tomorrow morning. Rick Perry could be in there with a fountain pen, a flashlight, and kickbacks for his sister.

No, I am not kidding.

I am pleased to announce that Texas Governor Rick Perry has won an award. Even I have to admit it’s a well deserved one.

The Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington have named him one of the worst Governors in America … And most anyplace else.

You can read the report right here.

It ain’t pretty. When not stealing from cancer research, he’s found a few other things to keep himself busy.

His inclusion stems from: (1) promotion of a political culture rife with cronyism and pay-to-play appointments; (2) the pervasiveness and influence of revolving-door lobbyists in his administration; (3) accepting free trips on the private planes of donors and special interests; (4) abusing his position to benefit his family; (5) simultaneous collection of a state government salary and state retirement pension; (6) financial disclosure reporting violations; (7) repeated flouting of transparency standards and blocking of public disclosure; (8) misuse of state resources for his presidential campaign; (9) advocacy for voter identification restrictions; and (10) killing a measure that would have required politically active nonprofits to disclose their donors. He was included in CREW’s 2010 report on governors.

Actually, stealing from cancer research money is one the lesser things he’s done.

Yeah, but he’s got great hair and boxes and boxes of confiscated tampons. That’s my Governor, Darlin’.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

This particular Texas woman lives not far from me and is not new to political and educational battles in my county, and she carries the whiplash of the Super DeLux Brand Christians to prove it.

The StitchWitch does her thing.

Yep, it’s a Rick Perry voodoo doll.

Here they are! Governor Goodhair in a suit and in his favorite casual t-shirt. They each come with a blank sign for you to personalize and three handmade tampon pins for sticking it to him.

They are $50 for the pair – one in a suit and the other in a tee-shirt, or $25 each. They both hold a protest sign for your own personalization. Profits go to Planned Parenthood.

Her Facebook is here.

I’m told their clothing is removable but I didn’t really want to know that.

Thanks to Marion for the heads up.