The Steeple People are at it again.  And this time they have a Magic Man in the Sky.

Carl Gallups, Advanced Letter Scramble Champion

Gospel Grinder Carl Gallups, who wrote a book called The Magic Man in the Sky, is plenty tired of you folks making fun of him because he called President Obama the anti-Christ.  So he’s back, Baby, and this time he has proof!

Carl Gallups advanced the theory, based on Aramaic translations of biblical texts, that Jesus spoke the current president’s name when he prophesized in Luke 10:18 that he “saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.”

According to the theory, which Gallups says he did not develop but promoted, the Aramaic translation of that passage would be: “I beheld Satan as baraq u-bama.”

Do you know what is sad?  It is sad when a full grown man does not recognize the word bar-be-que when he sees it in a letter scramble  game.  That is sad.

And, personally, I think the whole baraq-u-bama thing is a foretelling of the way Auburn cooked Alabama last weekend, but what do I know of the Anti-Christ and who he roots for in college football?  I confess that I know diddle squat about that.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

It comes to pass that Texas Senator and Congressvarmints are still trying to impeach President Obama.

Honey, if they don’t have anything better to do they can come over to my house and fix the damn potholes in the street.  But, no.  It’s Christmas and let’s impeach Obama!

According to Dana Milbank in the Washington Post, the House Judiciary Committee met yesterday to …

Tuesday’s hearing was titled “The President’s Constitutional Duty to Faithfully Execute the Laws.” The unanimous view among Republicans was that Obama had not done his duty, and it’s true that this president has stretched the bounds of executive authority almost as much as his predecessor, whose abuses bothered Republicans much less (and Democrats much more).

They are not using the impeachment word for fear of looking batcrap crazy instead of just regular crazy.

It’s a fun article and you’ll reading it but the best line is this one …

In recent days, Rep. Steve Stockman (Tex.), one of the more exotic members of the Republican caucus, has distributed proposed Articles of Impeachment to his colleagues.  (Emphasis delightfully provided by me.)

Exotic.  I flat love that and wish I had thought of using that.

Last summer I told you a dangerous story about a local Baptist lady confusing the words exotic and erotic.  However, I do not think we have to fret about that happening when describing Steve Stockman.

Thanks to Kyle and Paul for the heads up.

Please meet Congressgoofy Lamar Smith from Texas.  He’s a tad nuts.

He’s also living proof that politics is show business for ugly people.  Bless his heart, he has a strong resemblance to a kangaroo rat.  And about the same intelligence, too.

Growing weary of looking for illegal aliens, his term for undocumented workers, Lamar has decided to find them in outer space and probably kill them before they kill us.  I’m serious as a heart attack, folks.

Lamar doesn’t believe in climate change and if the petrochemical industry paid you half a million dollars, you wouldn’t either.  He heads the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology.  He doesn’t believe in any of those things, but if he had to pick one to believe in, it would be space.

Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX), who has been openly skeptical regarding global climate change, will use one of the House’s seven remaining workdays this year to chair a hearing regarding the possible existence of life outside of Earth.

The hearing’s charter states that, “With the discovery of potential Earth-like planets outside of our Solar System, the hearing will also investigate what methods are being used to determine if any of these planets may harbor life. The hearing will explore existing and planned astrobiology research strategies and roadmaps.”

Now, here’s what I betcha.  I betcha ten dollars crisp cash American money that Ole Lamar doesn’t give a hoot about space science.  He’s just looking for something new to use to produce fear and hate.  He’s just looking for an excuse to kill ET.

Or, in the alternative, maybe he’s looking for a new place to live since he and his petrochemical buddies wrecked this one.

Thanks to Kyle and The Shops for the heads up.

In the real War on Christmas, Governor Scott Walker asked his supporters to donate to his campaign instead of giving gifts to their children.

“Instead of venturing into the cold this Black Friday,” it began, “stay in and give your children a gift that will keep on giving. This year, we are celebrating the Holiday Season with a Black Friday special that is better than any deal found in stores. Donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker get reelected and save your children from a future of double-digit tax increases and billion dollar budget deficits.”

Wait until Christmas Queen Sarah Palin hears about this!

No wait, she’ll ask for the same thing.  In fact, by Friday it’ll be the only Christian thing to do.

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Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

One thing about kids – they work cheap.  Heck, they’ll sweep the front steps for a shiny quarter and wash your car for a dollar.

Paul LePage, the Governor of Maine, wants to utilize that good news and loosen the child labor laws.

Right now in Maine you have to be 16 to work.  LePage wants to lower that to 12 because “12-year-old children should not be restricted from working and learning life skills.”  I think the key words here is “children.”

At 12 years old getting through the day without springing a leak of hormones is work enough.  You can’t drive at 12 years old so that means walking to work.  In Maine.  Where I hear it snows.  And there’s more uphills than downhills.  While making for great stories to your grandchildren, I’m not sure being exploited as cheap labor is a “lifeskill.”

Republicans are determined to undo every labor reform we’ve had in this country since sweat shops burned to the ground.  And trust me, they don’t mean having their own kids work.  They mean your kids.

Hey, LePage, you know what they call a 12 year old forced into the workplace to take a job from an adult worker who needs a job? Two Democrats in training, my friend, that’s what you call them.

Texas Senator John Cornyn has always been a jerk but the day that Ted Cruz stunned everyone and won the Texas GOP primary against a moderate Republican, they took Cornyn down to Wildeyes River and baptized him.  Two or three times.  They also knocked his head on some river rocks a couple of times.

I am glad to report that he is no longer a jerk.  He is a full fledged dead solid perfect lunatic with a cherry on top.

Get this.

Not on my life, John?  Since when did you care about my life?  If you cared, you’d care that people could afford health insurance or that someone with a pre-existing condition  could actually see a doctor without bankrupting herself or the state’s medical funds.

Kiss my big blue butt, John.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.