Ted Cruz, the man who jumped on the birther idiocy like a goat on clover, is finally getting around to renouncing his Canadian citizenship. Cruz says it’s just a technical issue. You know, like you can be technically pregnant without being actually pregnant. Or just technically dumb.

Ted assures us that he has nothing against Canada, but he’s unclear if Canada doesn’t have anything against him.

It all boils down to where Cruz’s mother was born and, of course, whether she was just technically pregnant with him. Where is Donald Trump when you really need him?

Personally, I think I could build a pretty damn good case that he’s a terror baby.

There’s a guy named Mark Jacobs running in the Republican primary for United States Senator in Iowa.  Only problems is – he’s a Texan.

Jacobs voted in Harris County from 2000 until the primary in 2012, where he made his first primary vote in all those years.  I suspect he just up and decided that Mitt Romney was his kind of guy but John McCain wasn’t.  Or Bush.

They seem a little peeved about it in Iowa but are completely clueless about Texas election law.  They say he’s eligible to vote in Texas until midnight on December 31st.  That’s incorrect.  In Texas, you re-register by voting.  Since he voted in 2012, he can vote again in 2014 unless he has notified the Texas Secretary of State that he’s moved.  In fact, double voting is kind of a tradition among Texas Republicans.

They also said he was a registered Independent in Texas.  In Texas, you do not register by party affiliation.  You are affiliated with a party when you vote in their primary.  I can switch parties without re-registering.

But, anyway, here’s the bottom line.  If Iowans want to elect a Texas Republican to the Senate, I say we send them Ted Cruz.  Hell, Honey, I’ll even buy his airplane ticket.

Well, here ya go with “The 13 craziest, most offensive things said by politicians in 2013” and Louie Gohmert makes the list twice.

12. “Mankind has existed for a pretty long time without anyone ever having to give a sex-ed lesson to anybody. And now we feel like, oh gosh, people are too stupid unless we force them to sit and listen to instructions. It’s just incredible.”

— Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), quoted by Right Wing Watch, adding that it all reminded him of the Soviet Union.

And …

9. “This administration has so many Muslim brotherhood members that have influence that they just are making wrong decisions for America.”

— Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), in an interview with WND Radio, explaining what he sees as President Obama’s downplaying of the threat of radical Islam.

And aren’t we proud?

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

If going to Home Depot doesn’t make you manly enough, carry a weapon. You never know when a head boinking event will break out in the plumbing department and require an armed man to lay down the law.

Or get shot in the butt.

On December 26, 2013, an unidentified man was checking out at a Home Depot, in Brighton, Michigan. When reaching for his wallet, he accidentally grabbed his gun instead. The gun went off in his pocket, shooting the man in the butt

Don’t you wish you would have been there?

South Carolina women apparently take their Christmas Eve beer very seriously.

A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.

Now you are probably asking yourself, “Where does one purchase a “decorative ceramic squirrel?”  Well, you would be amazed.  Truly amazed.

It’s called “Chris’s Squirrels and More:  Your One Stop Shop for All Your Rehab Needs.”   Do not be using that slogan in your personal endeavors because that sucker is rightly trademarked.

I looked over this site as much as my trembling hands would allow and I think, but am in no way certain, that Chris means rehabbing wildlife, not rehab for South Carolina women and their beer needs.  Which is kinda a shame if you think about it.

Anyway, back to the South Carolina story …

The man fled to a neighbor’s home to call 911, and when officers arrived shortly after midnight — on Christmas Day by now — they found him covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, according to the report. When he took off his shirt, they found a big gash in his chest, it said.

Initially, Williams tried to persuade police that her husband fell, but officers were skeptical because she also had blood on her hands and clothes, the report said.

Damn.  I thought the lack of beer was a dead giveaway.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Victoria, Texas, is right down the road from me and I hitch-hike down there several times a year to attend Democratic events because they have a very active and great Democratic Party involving some of my favorite people.

So, when the Cactus Canyon Club of Victoria, Texas, made the news for not allowing Justin Meyer and his boyfriend James Douglas to dance together, I was about to learn a whole mess of new stuff that I never knew before.  When Justin and James tried to dance, the owner busted a gut.

Instead, they were confronted by the owner who told them they were not allowed to dance because they were men and due to unspecified ‘security reasons.’

‘He told me they have a policy that states that they don’t allow males to dance with males to country songs,’ Douglas recalled to KAVU-TV. ‘I said, “Just country?” and he said, “yes.”’

Now see, I didn’t know that.  Men can dance with men to anything except country music.  Oh, come on, admit it – you didn’t know that either.

And neither did real Texas men.

Here ya go.

Photograph of cowboys dancing to a fiddle at the Bar S Ranch which was located in Reagan and Irion Counties out in west Texas. A wagon and building stand in the background.

Maybe James and Justin need some big ole hats and some chaps.

The owner of the Cactus Canyon Club made another observation about social mores and norms …

Gearhart also added that while women have long been allowed to take it to the floor together in clubs around the country, the same does not necessarily applies to men.

I dunno why that is.  I truly don’t.  Must have something to do with ta-tas and really insecure men.

James and Justin.  Major security threat.

Thanks to my friend Kary for the picture of the cowboys having a gay ole time.