A Texan visits Oklahoma City and decides he needs some new duds for the Jason Aldean concert.

Jason Aldean

So, he drops by that haute fashion house, Bass Pro Shops, to buy something to catch the ladies’ eyes.  He is with his five year old son in the dressing room when he takes off his gun to try something on.

The five year old picks up the gun, shooting himself in the finger and his dad in the leg.

Oklahoma City police did not charge the father.

Because reckless endangerment is apparently not a crime in Oklahoma.

Bass Pro Shops is denying all responsibility for attracting butt ignorant shoppers.  They issued a statement.

“Bass Pro Shops is committed to our customers’ well-being should an emergency arise. This is why each Bass Pro Shops store has a dedicated operations support department and a manger on duty every hour that a store is open. In the event of an emergency, our protocol requires immediately contacting the appropriate first responder. In addition, we strive to maintain good working relationships with local first responders in markets where we operate.”

In other words, “If one of our damfool customers lets his 5 year old shoot you, we we will find the store manager and instruct him to call 911.

Thanks to Brian and Mark for the heads up.

I have to stop for a minute to tell y’all something.  Pat Robertson needs to be taken to the rest home and allowed to graze.

Here’s his latest.  It’s okay for cousins to marry if God tells them to – just so long they don’t have “mongoloid” children.

Oh Sweet Jesus, please go have a chat with that man.  Answering a letter from a viewer who said that a friend of hers felt that God wanted her to marry her cousin, Robertson answered …

“There’s nothing in the Bible that says you can’t marry your first cousin. Here you say everybody’s in favor of it. Alright, go for it.”

But the TV preacher added a final warning to “check the genetics.”

“You don’t want to have some mongoloid child,” Robertson noted, but immediately admitted that he shouldn’t use the term.

You know, I can’t call the scripture, but I am pretty damn certain that there’s something in the Bible that says you should not be an idiot.

Y’all, Steve Stockman isn’t winning but Dan Patrick is.  He has 52% of the vote in my county.  My county is crazy.

Thankfully, Kesha Roger won’t win.  Unthankfully, she will probably be in a run off.

Results are sloooooow.

I give up.  See you guys in the morning.

Here ya go – results.

Y’all, I saw my first Steve Stockman sign today.  It was at a poll that is 93% Democratic.

Okay, everybody is asking what the hell that thing is?

I do not know.

Some people think it might be the canon from the Gonzales flag.

However, I suspect that after all the tampon talk in the state legislature this session, I figure that’s what it’s got to be.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Some folks think it’s

I have two reoccurring reports.  Fun with Guns is about people who “accidentally” hurt themselves or someone else with a gun.  And Holy Crap is about steeple people doing very unchristian things.

And sometimes the two meet in a convergence of unbelievable proportions.

In an effort its spokesman has described as “outreach to rednecks,” the Kentucky Baptist Convention is leading “Second Amendment Celebrations,” where churches around the state give away guns as door prizes to lure in nonbelievers in hopes of converting them to Christ.

As many as 1,000 people are expected at the next one, on Thursday at Lone Oak Baptist Church in Paducah, where they will be given a free steak dinner and the chance to win one of 25 handguns, long guns and shotguns.

I’m not making this one up.  I promise I am not.

Instead of the Second Amendment, how ’bout we honor the Second Commandment according to Sweet Jesus in the 12th chapter of Mark.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Yo, Kentucky Baptists, honoring Isaiah 2:4 wouldn’t hurt none either.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

It’s cold, wet, and a great day for ducks in Texas.  We had sleet thunder in Richmond last night and then a little thundersnow for fun.

It’s also primary voting day.  I’ll be live blogging election results tonight until I give up and go to bed.  The polls in Austin didn’t open until 11:00 am, so they’ll stay open until 9:00 pm or until everybody is in the hospital from sliding around on ice – whichever comes first.

If you live in Texas, this is why I keep telling you to vote early.  If I say it’s Christmas you better buy some little twinkly lights and I say vote early, dammit.

Bubba is going around to the Democratic election workers with bags of goodies because those folks are doing the Lord’s work and get paid almost enough to cover their gas money.

One Republican side election worker asked if she could have a bag and Bubba said, “Oh, I’d give you one but then that would make you dependent on me and I don’t want to do that.”  He also added that if the Republican county chairman wasn’t so lazy and cheap, he’d be out doing this, but nooooo ….

One funny incident this morning.  This is supposedly a heavily Republican county.  However, the GOP couldn’t get enough election workers to work their own primary.  So, Democrats are filling-in for the Republicans in about half a dozen precincts.  Early this morning, one of our precinct judges was iced-in and couldn’t get to the poll.  (She lives way out in the country.)  Her Republican counterpart, a city dude, got there and opened it.  The county election supervisor asked the Republican if he would do the Democratic election until our worker could get there.  He refused.  You know, because Democrats have cooties.  So, we took one of our workers from her own poll, where she had some workers, and moved her over there with instructions to irritate that sumbitch every chance she got.  I’m taking her a harmonica.