Remember back when Bill Clinton was President of the United States of Damn America and the nut cases went around saying that Janet Reno was building secret re-education camps and had black helicopters to herd us all to the camps?

They’re baaaaaack …..

On Friday, John Jacob Schmidt of Radio Free Redoubt said that according to Stewart Rhodes, founder of Oath Keepers, Attorney General Eric Holder has approved drone strikes against the Bundy ranch to take place some time in the next 48 hours. According to Schmidt, the information came from a source Oath Keepers has within the Department of Defense.

And it gets even better, tin foil hat wearers …

That source, according to the report, allegedly said Attorney General Eric Holder authorized what is known as a “hot drone strike” against the ranch. Such a strike, he added would effectively kill everyone at the ranch.

So we here at Radio Free Juanita are encouraging everyone at the Beauty Salon to get their curling irons and Aqua Net and head on down to the ranch because those things will be about as effective against the United States Military as Bundy’s armed cadets.

I’ve got ten dollars cash American money that says that Eric Holder can’t call drone strikes.  He is, however, one of The Negros that Bundy thinks would be better off picking cotton.  So, maybe we should let Holder do it.

Get your damn horses off my land, Bundy.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Y’all are gonna think I’m kidding so I’m glad someday finally wrote about it.  Rick Perry got borned again again.

Seriously.  They took him down to the river and baptized him last month.  I guess the first time didn’t take.

With only close friends and family looking on, the born-again Christian governor was baptized outdoors, in the spring waters once used to wash the sins off Sam Houston, the first elected president of the Republic of Texas and one of the most colorful political figures in American history.

Only problem I see is that they didn’t hold him under long enough.

Perry used the same river that Sam Houston was baptized in. Sam Houston was the best politician Texas ever had – drunk or sober.   Sam made a joke that if the river washed away his sins, he felt real bad for the fish.

With Rick, however, we’re gonna have to skim stupid off the river for a month. During the baptism the fish were the smartest things in the river.

Sometimes Karma is a lovely lady.

New York Republican Congressvulture Michael Grimm, who got nationally famous for threatening to throw a reporter off the baling at the capitol and adding that he’ll “break you in half,” met Miss Karma this morning.

U.S. Rep. Michael Grimm, R-New York, was taken into federal custody on charges relating to a failed restaurant business and allegations that he made false statements, law enforcement officials said Monday.

Grimm is charged with God only knows how many counts, including mail fraud, wire fraud and tax fraud.  He’s a former FBI agent and is claiming the FBI is on a “politically driven vendetta” to get him.

Maybe they want to throw him off a balcony, I dunno.

Just so you’ll feel real safe the next time you fly …

A federal air marshal accidentally shot himself in the leg with his service weapon inside of a West Orange office building this morning, police said.

Federal air marshals are law enforcement personnel, under the umbrella of the national Transportation Safety Administration, who carry firearms for security reasons on commercial flights.

Well, the good news is that he probably couldn’t hit the airplane, even if he shot from inside.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

There a guy named Ray Moore running for Lt. Governor of South Carolina.  His big plan is to shut down all public schools and replace them with church run schools.

And the details to his plan?

“Then the states would then negotiate, perhaps taking out of their constitution platform, or the provision, that says the state had to provide education, and it would gradually be handed over to churches, families, and private associations,” Moore said. “That’s the way it was for the first 200 years of American history.”

He said non-religious schools, which he has called “the Pharaoh’s schools,” posed an existential threat to Christians.

Go Pharaoh High!  Push ‘um back, push ‘um back, waaaaaay back!

And where, you wonder, would Rev. Moore get such a damn crazy unAmerican idea?

Dan Patrick.  Yep.

Texas Republican Dan Patrick told the Family Research Council’s Washington Watch on Thursday that public schools in his state indoctrinate children with anti-American, left-wing, and environmental propaganda.

Yeah, stuff like that rain isn’t angel tears and gravity isn’t because the devil sucks.

I told you that crazy is contagious and that Republicans are carriers.

“Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”

Sarah Palin at the NRA Convention