Andy Puzder is the CEO of Carl Jr’s.  You probably know Carl Jr’s from the hotsy totsy commercials they have on teevee to convince you that Paris Hilton and swimsuit model Hannah Ferguson only eat lusty hamburgers while wearing skimpy bathing suits and thigh-high black leather boots while sprawled out on a shiny black car.

Yeah, they want you to suspend belief about food, hoochy, and proper dinner attire.

They also want you to suspend belief about politics.

Andy Puzder’s other comedic episode is Rick Perry.  Puzder is just will about Rick Perry.

The press conference Wednesday at a Carl’s Jr. fast food restaurant in South Austin was supposed to “celebrate the restaurant’s commitment to Texas,” but it was a bit hijacked by a nationally recognized swimsuit model, the promise of a free brisket-laden new hamburger and Gov. Rick Perry.

But as Perry sat patiently on stage, Puzder also noted that the governor would represent a welcome change as the country’s next president.

So there ya go. Lusty hamburgers in bathing suits and Rick Perry — wrapped not so tightly in one rich old guy’s erotic dream.

We crashed for a little while today.  Some comments were lost.  If you don’t see yours, you might try again.

A former member of the Texas Legislature and current Republican nominee for Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Sid Miller, has himself some powerful strong feelings.  By his own admission, he does not have much knowledge but boy howdy! his feelings run deep.

Sid especially doesn’t like what’s happening on the border.  He doesn’t live there, of course.  The truth is that Sid Miller lives closer to Tulsa, Oklahoma, than he does Laredo, closer to Roswell, New Mexico, than Brownsville, and a helluva lot closer to Wichita, Missouri, than El Paso.  Lawmakers who actually live on the border aren’t worried by bygawd Sid Miller is.

So much so that he issued this statement:

“I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know what the legal definition of ‘invasion’ is … but in this cowboy’s definition, we’re being invaded.”

One of my state representative friends once told me, “Ole Sid would have to study-up to be an imbecile.”

However, Sid has an idea to solve this invasion problem.

“We should invoke Article 1, Section 10 of the United States Constitution, which talks about the federal government having the sole responsibility of securing our border, protecting our people … with one exception.  The last sentence of the Article 1, Section 10 of the Constitution says that if a state is invaded or attacked, those rights also revert to the states to take matters into their own hands.”

Now I want you to ponder for a minute about what matters you would be willing to put in Sid Miller’s hands?  Hell, this is a man who can’t operate a dictionary.

I have to tell something else pretty disgusting about Sid Miller.  He’s a cruel sumbitch.

Miller, a rancher, received a warning from the American Quarter Horse Association last year for tethering three of his horses to the back of a trailer and exercising them by driving slowly in circles, a practice many consider dangerous, The Dallas Morning News reported in December.

And …

Miller, a former Republican representative from Stephenville, offered bills in 2003 and 2007 that would have allowed the sale of horse meat for consumption in foreign countries.

And he wants to go control the “invasion” on the border?  Hell, at least Mitt Romney just put Seamus on the roof of the car.  He didn’t eat him afterwards.

Anna Zubkova is running for probate judge in Connecticut.  I generally don’t hold married couples responsible for each other’s behavior, but there are exceptions.  This is probably one.

Her husband of 17 years, Rob, has a blog were he expresses some strong views on race and white pride.  I mean, strong.  And he’s been to a couple of neo-nazi rallies.

Her defense?

“He did not have those views when we married, but acquired them after,” Zubkova told the paper. “What am I supposed to do? Divorce him? It’s not unusual for husbands and wives to have different views.”

Anna, Honey, I do not blame you for his views.  I do, however, question your judgement and your ability to lead, negotiate, and be a damn judge.

“I am pro-white, because so much out there is anti-white,” Freeman wrote.

You need to let him get out more often, Anna.  Buy him a teevee and let him look at congress.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, so there’s a priest who tried to exorcize the devil from a young woman.

He failed.

So, now he’s getting text messages.  From the feekin’ devil.

So, here’s what I’m wondering.

Does the devil have autocorrect?  And if so, has he ever texted anything embarrassing?  Because that would be cool.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

We are certain that gay marriage caused this.

Windermere Baptist Conference Center is a big ole honker place with a lake, camping, a hotel, conference center, RV Park, chapel, and swimming as long as you are modestly dressed.  It’s in Missouri.  They have all manner of things to save your soul, but it doesn’t work all that well.

Their CEO got arrested.

The Boone County Sheriff’s Department Cyber Crimes Task Force on Tuesday arrested a 56-year-old Camden County man after he allegedly used the Internet to try to find a dog to have sex with.

Jerald L. Hill of the 500 block of Forest Circle in Roach was arrested in Columbia at 11:35 a.m. yesterday on suspicion of attempted unlawful sex with an animal and attempted animal abuse, Boone County sheriff’s Detective Tracy Perkins said in a news release. Hill was released from the Boone County Jail after posting bond totaling $1,000.

Well, Jerry Hill ain’t just your average CEO.  He’s a Super DeLux Brand Christian CEO and he’s not just the CEO, but also the President.

But, day-um, it makes a helluva opening paragraph.

Windermere Baptist Conference Center likely will choose a new executive following the arrest of Jerald “Jerry” Hill on charges of soliciting sex with an animal.

Likely.  Ya think?

And it does explain this little entry at the Windermere Baptist Conference Center website.

Pets

Absolutely no pets are allowed on the grounds, except within the RV Park boundaries.

Y’all, seriously, how long before gay marriage gets blamed for this?  3…2…1.. cue Pat Robertson.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.