Deep breath.

Rick Perry hearts Rick Perry.  He’s at the Iowa State Fair.

The Texas governor addressed the Iowa State Fair on Tuesday, and when the moderator thanked him after his speech, Perry reportedly said: “You’re welcome. I’m awesome!”

No, no you’re not.

And we’re pretty sure he’s drinking again.

At one point, the Republican governor met a 10-year-old girl and continued to shake her hand as he spoke with her parents.

“I can’t feel my fingers,” Mackenzie Goodyk said, according to the report.

“Oh, my gosh, I had a hold of you, didn’t I?” Perry responded.

Oh Lord, Rick.  That’s not what you’re supposed to be grabbing.

In slightly related story, Texans investing their tax money in Rick Perry’s presidential run might want a refund but we don’t know how much they should get because we’re not allowed to know how much we’re paying.

It should be noted that Texas taxpayers also pay for Perry’s trips to Iowa (and Israel, and the Bahamas), but even at the height of his last run for president, in 2011 and early 2012, the bill for his security detail was only $400,000 a month. (A ruling this week by state Attorney General Greg Abbott — the GOP nominee to replace Perry as governor — means Texans will no longer get a detailed accounting of Perry’s security expenses, despite a 2011 state law mandating their release.)

Whatever we’re paying is too much.  Especially when he’s going to hurt little girls and do stuff like this:

 Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

The sheriff in my county is not a brilliant man.  He’s a graduate of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, where I think class attendance is probably not mandatory.

He has openly called our President “that clown in Washington,” and was fired by a local police department for “repeated violations of policies and procedures.”  Real winner, this one.

Here’s some bad timing.  On Wednesday the news broke that he wants a couple of army helicopters and an armored personal vehicle.  Wednesday.  You know what was happening on Wednesday?  In Ferguson, Missouri?

Fort Bend County Sheriff Troy Nehls joins the national trend in militarizing the local law enforcement agency with weapons of war.

YeeeHaw!

If you live local, call your county commissioner.  They have to approve it.  Don’t let them.

Will Hayden is the star of “Sons of Guns,” a reality show on the Discovery Channel.  He also owns a custom weapons company. Wiki says …

Sons of Guns is a reality television series that airs on the Discovery Channel. The series centers on Red Jacket Firearms LLC, a Louisiana-based business that manufactures and sells custom weapons. Will Hayden is the founder and owner of the shop, while his daughter and business partner Stephanie manages the office.

As on the Discovery Channel series MythBusters, this show practices a degree of self-censorship and safety-consciousness. Each episode begins with a staff member (usually Will) warning viewers not to try anything demonstrated on the show at home.

Well, here’s something else you shouldn’t try at home.

Will Hayden has been arrested for child molestation and “crimes against nature.”   He made his $150,000 bond.

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Thanks to Lorraine  for the heads up.

Rick Perry is running against President Obama!

Here’s his first ad from RickPAC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sluxqvz0KyM

I dunno.  Maybe it’s an ad for Fox News.  Hard to tell.

When did this become a small town police department?

And where are all those folks so damn upset about government overreach?  Hiding out at the Bundy ranch?

So, it’s not Barack Obama who has para-military forces ready to come into your front yard and throw smoke bombs.  It’s James Knowles, the Republican mayor of Ferguson, Missouri.  How ’bout them apples?

White people can point loaded automatic weapons at the police on the Bundy ranch.  Black people can’t point cameras at them in Ferguson, Missouri.  See the problem?

I’m on some crazy rightwing mailing lists just for fun and today I got this special offer.  Click the little one t get the big one.

So, if you click it, here’s what it is that will scare FEMA half to death.

Lord have mercy child, it’ a rope and a whistle.

Originally used during World War II, Parachute Cord, aka Paracord, was designed to attach parachutes to harnesses. Not only is it very strong and versatile but lately it has become a fashion accessory as well. Look good and show your patriotic pride while being prepared!

All you have to do is pay the $2.95 shipping because it’s free, free, free.

But, it’s also a miracle.

For every free bracelet ordered, a donation is made to the Wounded Warrior Project.  Over $2,388.80 already donated to our soldiers!

So not only are they giving you free stuff, they are actually donating money from the massive amounts of free they are getting.

How do they stay in business?  Volume, volume, I tell you!

Honey, if all I need in an emergency is a rope and whistle, I look forward to the next one and I hope it’s on a playground.

They let these people vote, y’all.  They do.