Today is the special election for Texas House District 13 and that’s a frightening thing because of a woman named Becky Berger.  I’ve told you about her before and how President Obama is running against her for Texas House District 13.

If you know anybody who lives in HD13 in Texas, make them go vote today.

Berger had two mailers hit people’s houses today.  Here’s the first.  I call it the goofy one: (Click the little one to see the big one.)

Yep – that’s why we celebrate the New Year.  Ms. Berger is not in that picture.

And then the scary one, that’s brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

Serious Conservative Firepower?  Who the hell is she gonna shoot?  “Texas is American’s last stand for freedom?”  Yeah, Oklahoma, suck on that!

Seriously, call random people in Texas HD 13 and tell them to not vote for Becky Berger because if your butt ain’t conservative, she’s got firepower to fix it.  Serious firepower.

Yee Haw!

Election results right here all night.  https://team1.sos.state.tx.us/enr/results/jan13_183_state.htm?x=0&y=44&id=358

If President Obama had gone to France, they’d call him a cheese eating panty waist who pals around with surrender monkeys.

If he doesn’t….

He’s worse than Hitler.

Victory!  The brutal, vicious, devastating war on cupcakes has been won.

Newly elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, a frequent guest at this beauty salon for his love of guns and transvaginal sonograms, has decided to take on the big issues of Texas.

Before we start this story about Sid and the cupcakes, I need to tell you something.  Ole Sid has a bad case of dinky-do.  That’s when his stomach sticks out more than his dinky-do.

Even so, people were a little taken back when Sid announced his first official act.  He freed the cupcakes.

Newly elected Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller is going for the gut. In his first official act as commissioner, Miller granted full amnesty to cupcakes. Cakes, pies, and brownies made the list, too.

At a press conference Monday at the Texas Department of Agriculture, with a Hey Cupcake! food truck parked behind him, Miller reminded Texans that the statewide rules that once banned cupcakes and other junk food from classrooms were repealed last July. And the Miller administration, he said, will “do less when it comes to mandates for our local schools.”

I know y’all think I’m making this up.  I am not.

The policy, which has been in place since 2004, was not one of the big issues in the last election but Sid was plenty upset about it and bygawd he was gonna fix it come diabetes or high water.

“If you ask me, that sounds like something from the Obama administration,” Miller said of the 2004 policy. “I can’t believe we would be doing that here in Texas.”

Oh yeah, it’s also state law in Texas that you can’t hate something without blaming President Obama.

The law was put in place by Republican Ag Commissioner Susan Combs.  Republican.

(Heavy Sigh)  It’s gonna be an awfully long legislative session, y’all.

So, Ole Sid freed the cupcakes and held a press conference to do it.

This is not from The Onion.  This is from the Washington Post.

Before he went to the Capitol, Miller walked to the microphone with a cupcake in hand.

“There was once a famous line, and it went like this: Let them eat cake,” he said, taking a big bite of his cupcake.

Y’all, he has no clue where that line is from.  He has no idea that it’s meant to signify someone who is filled to the brim with arrogance and totally clueless about a given situation.

Or maybe he does.

Albuquerque, New Mexico apparently has a police department out of control.

Bernalillo County District Attorney Kari Brandenburg has confirmed to the NM Political Report that she will charge two Albuquerque police officers with murder for the shooting of a homeless camper in the city’s foothills in March of 2014.

The homeless man was armed with a pen knife and there is a video.

This becoming a habit in Albuquerque.

And then to top it all, last week one officer shot an undercover officer over a $60 meth bust.

An Albuquerque police lieutenant shot a fellow officer who was working undercover in a McDonald’s parking lot near Central and Tramway just before noon Friday.

Albuquerque Police Chief Gorden Eden said Saturday the male officer remained in critical condition at University of New Mexico Hospital. He is in the intensive care unit and has undergone multiple surgeries.

No mention has been made of any perceived threat before the lieutenant opened fire.  No mention was made of any guns.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Republicans are naming committee heads.

The U.S. Senate today officially ratified U.S. Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) as chairman of the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee for the 114thCongress. Following this action, Thune announced that the Commerce Committee will have six subcommittees and that the following colleagues will serve as subcommittee chairmen once the full committee approves panels at the first official meeting:

Subcommittee on Aviation Operations, Safety, and Security

Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.)

Subcommittee on Communications, Technology, Innovation, and the Internet

Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.)

Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, Insurance, and Data Security

Sen. Jerry Moran (R-Kan.)

Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries, and Coast Guard

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.)

Subcommittee on Space, Science, and Competitiveness

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)

Subcommittee on Surface Transportation and Merchant Marine Infrastructure, Safety, and Security

Sen. Deb Fischer (R-Neb.)

A guy from the 50th in education state for communication, technology, internet, innovation; a gal from a very small state with no international airport (bases don’t count) for aviation safety, security and operations; someone from NEBRASKA for merchant marine infrastructure, safety and security; and my very own Ted Cruz for Space, Science and Competitiveness. Don’t get me started on Rubio for Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries, etc etc. I suppose the fact that his state is surrounded on 3 sides for water qualifies him.

Holy cow, y’all.

Thanks to Fenway Fran for the heads up.

Self-loathing is not pretty and that kinda explains Phyllis Schlafly’s hairdo.

Phyllis has been hating women since at least 1965 and instead of getting another hobby, she’s got that whole hooter-hater thing floored in neutral.

Phyllis is concerned about rape on college campuses but she’s got the cause figured out:  all those pert little booties.

The imbalance of far more women than men at colleges has been a factor in the various sex scandals that have made news in the last couple of years.

Too many women are going to college. And that should not be.

But, Phyllis has some solutions:  (1) only admitting 50% boys and 50% girls, eliminating all the spare ta-tas, (2) stopping college loans so students don’t have time to think about … you know … stuff, (3) or “reinstate all the men’s sports that were canceled by an extremist feminist application of Title IX.”  Yeah, I quoted that last one because I knew you wouldn’t believe it.

The feminists have abolished more than 2,200 men’s college sports teams since 1981, such as wrestling, gymnastics, track, golf and even some football in order to limit the number of male players to Title IX guidelines.

Yep.  Not enough golf is the #1 cause of rape.

But she ain’t finished on that deep pondering —-

The popularity of the new college football playoff system illustrates how successful men’s college sports can be for participants and fans alike. But when colleges eliminate men’s sports, women are hurt by the resulting gender imbalance in enrollment.

Oh dear Lord in a bowl of bean dip, that makes my head hurt.  So, Phyllis is saying that men only go to college to play sports.  And if sports aren’t available, all that’s left is rape.  Okay.  Well, I guess that explains the Republican congress.

Lemme start again.  Phyllis doesn’t just hate women – that woman hates everydamnbody.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the heads up.