Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

The Gays Made Me Smoke Marijuana

March 18, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Aladamnbama Chief Justice Roy Moore is the homophobic judge who stopped same-sex marriage in Alabama even though the US Supreme Court ordered them to continue.

Roy Moore is a perfect 10 in cringe worthiness.

Well, his 24 year old son is quite the wild one.  He proudly posted pictures of himself in college drinking and carrying on in a manner not fitting his moral upbringing.

“I must admit, the things people are saying about me on social media are for the most part true,” Caleb Moore wrote on Facebook. “I do have a past that I’m not proud of.. Thank God for salvation and changing my life.”

Mmmmmm … that must have been very recent.  Like maybe yesterday.

Moore-235x300According to the Montgomery Advertiser, Moore pleaded guilty on charges of possession of a controlled substance in 2013, and was charged with driving under the influence and drug possession in 2011. In March 2014, he was charged with use or possession of drug paraphernalia.

Now, I have to tell you that the son’s behavior is not newsworthy to me until … he started blaming the police and the news media for his troubles.  Last Sunday the police were called to the scene of a break-in.

When they searched the vehicle, they found a bag of marijuana, four Xanax pills and Caleb Moore’s passport, according to WFSA.

The arrest, Caleb Moore contended later, was just another scheme to frame him and smear his father.

“This is nothing more than a prime example of how media and crooked police officers and critics of my dad try to not only destroy his career for what he stands for but will go as far as trying to destroy his family,” Caleb Moore wrote on Facebook.

Caleb thinks the media and the cops are making him misbehave because, you know, gay people.  Isn’t that cute?

Thanks to chloe bear for the heads up.

 

If Their Lips Are Moving …

March 18, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Check out Politifacts this morning.

Of the top five statements not even one of them is mostly true.  Here’s snippet in case they add more before you get there.  Click the little one to get the big one.

 

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Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Woo! Woo!

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republican Representative Aaron Schock is resigning.

Because he’s probably going to jail.

Illinois Rep. Aaron Schock resigned Tuesday, less than 12 hours after POLITICO raised questions about tens of thousands of dollars in mileage reimbursements he received for his personal vehicle.

Schock billed the federal government and his campaign for logging roughly 170,000 miles on his personal car between January 2010 and July 2014. But when he sold that Chevrolet Tahoe in July 2014, it had only roughly 80,000 miles on the odometer, according to public records obtained by POLITICO under Illinois open records laws. The documents, in other words, indicate he was reimbursed for 90,000 miles more than his car was ever driven.

No wonder Republicans think that government doesn’t work.  They cheat it.

Can I have his office?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

If You’re Not Busy Next Monday, Be Gay For A Day

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Dr. Steven Hotze is a long time Texas rightwing twit.  He’s also a kingmaker in Republican circles.  He’s so beloved by the Steeple People that he sells his endorsement to candidates.  I’m not kidding.

He’s also a raging homophobe.  I mean, just saying the 5 syllable word ho-mo-sex-u-al comes out of his mouth slowly, self-satisfyingly and with the aroma of expensive French perfume.

He’s calling for a big ole rally on the state capitol grounds to protect God’s vision of marriage.  Do not ask me to explain his use of the word “mirage” for gay marriage because it appears to be an inside joke – inside his head.

So get on the bus and join “hundreds” of state lawmakers to keep Texas safe for hate.

Yes, he is a medical doctor.  No, I would not go to him.

Aladamnbama

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all Alabama is for sale on Ebay.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 9.43.37 AMI got you a screen shot of it just in case Ebay takes it down.  Click the little one to get the big one.

You even get a certificate of ownership!  But the best part is the part that describes your purchase.

We loved this state for many years, but now that Alabama is subverting federal law by allowing officials to refuse to perform same-sex marriages, it’s time to let her go. Frankly, 49 states is enough.

We’ve tried to trade Alabama to other countries in the world, but even Saudi Arabia and Iran thought it was, frankly, too backwoods and messed up. We even tried to deal it to ISIS, but they were worried that Alabama is too fundamentalist.

Alabama became a state on December 14th, 1819. They have made no recognizable progress since. They did try to leave the United States at one point, it was a bit of a dust-up you may have heard of. In hindsight we were probably better off just letting her go. Our bad. It’s like that crazy girlfriend you just can’t cut the ties with. We are dumping her before she boils our pet possum.

Alabama was the last state to legalize interracial marriage. Guess what year? Just guess.. Nope! It was 2000! That’s not a typo. (40 percent of Alabamans voted to keep the ban). Two. Thousand.

Their state constitution still has a provisions requiring separate schools for “white and colored children” and for poll taxes once imposed to disenfranchise blacks. It’s 2015, in case you had forgot. Two. Thousand. Fifteen.

And just 2 days ago, the Alabama KKK distributed about 6,000 fliers throughout Montgomery as well as Selma on the weekend of Bloody Sunday. Fun note, Alabama has a higher population of KKK members than any other state. So if you like white sheets, this is the state for you!!

Education – 49th out of 50. 15% of the state is illiterate. So, upon purchase, you might want to invest a little money in dictionaries.

A whopping 60% of Alabama believes in Creationism. 60%!!!! Bring a lot of bibles!

Health- Alabama ranks as the 3rd most obese state. So, there’s good food there! I hope you like fried food and diabetes!

Alabama does have a nice coastline. Keep that in mind!

Please note, there will be no refunds. You break it, you bought it. Well, it’s already broken, but no refunds.

Half of all proceeds will be donated to charities supporting marriage equality

Free shipping!

I’d buy it but I already have a backwards state.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

Hey, Skippy, Don’t Dare Us

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republican Texas State Representative Jason Villalba has introduced a bill making it illegal for you to film or photograph the police.  HB2918 allows the filming of police only by a television station with an FCC license or certain magazines and newspapers.

2855-1Even his fellow Republicans jumped on him like a fat lady on a milkshake.  Jason is a lawyer so you’d suspect that he has at least become vaguely familiar with the First Amendment.

So, after getting whacked about the head by both Democrats and Republicans, Jason decides that the wisest thing to do is to stand his ground.  Hey, if you’re going to be a fool, be a stubborn fool because those are the most fun.

He dares his distractors on Twitter —

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Pssst, Jason, I think that’s already being arranged.

And then he has a meltdown – right there on Twitter and starts daring everybody.

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This goes on for a few fun hours and then he sobers up, dammit, and takes them all down.

I love Republicans in the Lege.