Sometimes it’s a simple story.

A man accidentally shot himself in the testicles while walking down a street in Los Angeles Saturday, police said.

The good news is that he’s now very unlikely to add to the gene pool.

The bad news is that I bet it hurt like hell.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Here’s Larry’s Upright’s Obituary.  He was 81 years old when he died.   He died near Charlotte, North Carolina, in a town called Kannapolis.

Yes, as a matter of fact, this is real.

On the upside, my Momma is 89 years old and has every intention of living until she’s 91 so she can vote for Hillary.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Rick Perry Bless His Heart.

Y’all, Rick is talking again and it is not a pretty picture.

In explaining how he is different this time, Rick admits that he and “his team” lied.

Perry also acknowledged that he had serious health challenges during the last campaign, even though his team denied them at the time.

And that he was dumber than a sack of hammers.

“To be prepared, to stand on the stage and talk about this myriad of issues, whether it’s domestic policy, monetary policy or foreign policy, it takes years of intense studies,” the 65-year-old replied. “I spent the last three years in that mode — being able to stand up and discuss all of these issues and do it in a way that is very profound and impactful.”

Yes, he spent three years taking a course called, “Impactful Gettin’ Smart.”  I think he means that he spent three years doing what everybody else did with the rest of their lives.

Rick Perry being profound is something I will pay money to see.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

This right here was on Facebook.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  These coins were commissioned in 2005 when that Christian-Hating Obama wasn’t president.

The $1 coins were commissioned to be a series about the Presidents of the United States.  It was decided that these would be the first coins since 1905 minted with writing on the edges.  These say In God We Trust and E PLURIBUS UNUM and the date they were minted on the edge.

It looks like these over to the right.

Now here’s the fun fact.  A limited number of the George Washington coins got through the mint without the inscription around the edge.  If in fact the Facebook guy had one of those, it’s no wonder the post office worker wanted it back.  They are worth $640 to collectors.

People who think it’s appropriate to put God on money are obviously not getting any messages from God.

Darryl Mills is an Alderman in Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina.

Wrightsville is a town of 2,500 southern souls.  It is 98.11% white.  A big .2% of those folks are African American.  My pocket calculator says that means 5 people.

So when Alderman Mills called the bartender Mia Banks at the King Neptune Restaurant a “mixed breed,” he was a little stunned that she was offended.

He was, of course, just kidding.

In an interview, Mills confirmed he called Banks a “mixed breed” and used an expletive. He said he and Banks have had a bantering and teasing relationship for years.

Yes, I can think of all manner of friendly jokes, comments and stories that use the term “mixed breed” in a nice manner.

Mills says that his comments have nothing to do with hm being a Alderman.

He has no plans to resign. “I think this is a personal matter,” he said. “It has nothing to do with Wrightsville Beach.”

People with a double digit IQ disagree.

Banks, who splits her time between Charlotte and Wrightsville Beach, said publicly addressing the comment felt like the right thing to do.

“He is in a position of power and I think he needs to be held accountable for his actions,” she said.

Now I know this is going to come as surprise to you but even though the position of alderman is non-partisan, Alderman Mills is a …. yep.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

Oh come on, Mike, what the hell is wrong with you?

Mike Huckabee (R) suggested that young Americans planning to join the military should wait until President Barack Obama leaves office to do so because his administration has an “open hostility toward the Christian faith,” the Huffington Post reports.

Numero Uno:  Mike doesn’t know diddle squat about the Christian faith.

Numero Two-o:  Onward Christian Soldiers ain’t the national anthem.

Numero Lasto:  You’d think that somebody – and yeah I’m talking to you, Mike – who gets to overrule God in determining someone else’s profession of faith could at least win the Republican nomination.  

I have a new rule.  Evangelicals have to quit calling themselves Christians.  They aren’t.