Rockingham County, Virginia, needs a monument to voter ID. Especially the ones who don’t get to vote because they got bamboozled by a Republican.

Colin Small is 31 years old.  He’s from Pennsylvania and it appears that the small thing about him is his mind.  He’s got himself some mighty fine ways of making money, though.  He works for the Virginia GOP and the Republican National Committee after completing an internship with Republican Rep. Mike Kelly. Small is part of the $3 million voter registration efforts by the Republican National Committee.

But, he’s not just doing his civic duty of registering voters.

The owner of a store in Harrisonburg, Va., told a local television station that he became suspicious when he saw a car with Pennsylvania plates dump an envelope in back of his store. He recovered the envelope and alerted authorities.

And what was in the envelope?  Completed voter registration cards. The license tags came back to Small.

He’s in jail. If I were on his jury, I would take away his right to vote for 20 years, maybe longer. Do you think for one minute that those registration cards were from affluent white men?  Hell, no.

Salon has more details about the GOP and messing with voter registration cards, mostly in Florida.  Example, they take people who are currently Democrats and re-register them with a change of address. Then when they go to vote, their ID and their voter registration won’t match.  They’ll have to cast a provisional ballot, even if they can prove they still live at the first address and never even heard of the other address.  Provisional ballots rarely, if ever, get counted.

Do I need to do my semiannual announcement that I hate Republicans?  God forgive me, I know I not supposed to hate them, only the acts of heresy they commit, but that seems a little convoluted and complicated to me.  I just hate them.

EDIT: this is a total screw up on my part.  Neither Yvonne or I noticed the date on this article.  It was in 2012.  As Edward notes in the comments, Mr. Small walked free.

I still hate Republicans.

Thanks to Yvonne for the heads up.

A couple of months ago, I told you about the weirdness of Ted Cruz’s SuperPAC giving Carly Fiorina’s SuperPAC half a million dollars. Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen was rooting around in a Pumpkin Parfait and some campaign finance reports and found this oddity.

Both Alfredo and I came up with the theory that Ted figured the only Republican who could attack Hillary Clinton was Carly Florina because they both are hooter toters. Ted, naturally, thought men would look mean calling a woman names but for another woman to do it, well, that’s just how bitch works.

A month later, the FEC asks about it, wanting an explanation of why they gave money to another candidate. Ted’s SuperPAC lied to the New York Times and said that it hadn’t decided who to support at that time.

Well, that holds about the same amount of truth as a pig has feathers.

So, this month Ted’s SuperPAC changed their story.

“Keep the Promise I made the donation in June to Ms. Fiorina at that time because we thought she had important things to say that weren’t being heard, including her poignant and effective criticism of Mrs. Clinton, at the time, the likely Democratic nominee,” Kellyanne Conway, president of Keep the Promise I told CBS News in an email.

Ta da!  There ya go.  “Effective criticism of Mrs. Clinton” are pretty much the magic words.  Carly is being paid to attack Hillary, just as we suspected, because, you know, a whole congressional committee designed purely to bring down Clinton’s poll numbers at taxpayer expense wasn’t enough.

There was a small, tiny, unforeseen downside for Ted.  Back in August when this transfer of wealth was made, Ted had no idea that Carly would use that money to overtake him in the polls. Today, Carly is at 13% while Ted is at 6%.

Maybe now Carly can give Ted some money to attack Trump because, of damn course, a woman couldn’t do that.

Thanks again to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen.

by Primo Encarnación y Hachecristo

Oregon Sheriff John Hanlin, the tough-talking wannabe badass from central casting whose jurisdiction was shattered by the gun deaths at Umpqua Community College, refuses to call the attacker by name because he doesn’t want to “glorify” his act. That name is Christopher Harper Mercer (or Harper-Mercer), a mixed-race, lonely ammosexual who lived in the area.

Mercer, according to Hanlin, “is a local resident and I know personally I haven’t heard of any warning signs coming from this person.” Apparently, warning signs are audible to him, like dog whistles: things like if his name was Mohammed, I guess, which I’m pretty damn sure Hanlin would say out loud.

Here are just some of the things that WERE known about Mercer, none of which sound like warning signs to the Sheriff: his dating profile was Ironcross45, a reference either to Hitler or gymnastics. His Bittorrent id was Lithium_lover, which is often prescribed for bipolar patients. His profile also listed him as a conservative Republican. He was often seen in combat boots and camo with a shaved head. His MySpace profile picture shows himself with a gun where a girlfriend normally should be. He kept to himself and was close to his mother, who shielded and coddled him because he was “dealing with mental issues.” I have read uncorroborated reports that LEO had been to his home before. He was a fanboy of sci/fi, horror, goth and the IRA Christian terrorist group.

Yup, yup! No warning signs. Nothing to see here! Move along.

But even if all this had been known to him, Sheriff John Hanlin would still have armed mass murderer Christopher Harper Mercer, because Freedom™. In the wake of the Newtown mass shooting, Hanlin sent this letter to the Vice President of the United States.

In relevant part, it said: “…the second purpose of this letter is to make notification that any federal regulation enacted by Congress or by executive order of the President offending the Constitutional rights of my citizens shall not be enforced by me or by my deputies, nor will I permit the enforcement of any unconstitutional regulations or orders by federal officers within the borders of Douglas County Oregon.”

“MY citizens…nor will I permit…” In this cretin’s pea-brain, he IS the law, and the sole arbiter of Constitutionality in Douglas County, OR, population 100K. Not only would he oppose the common sense laws that would keep guns out of the hands of the criminally insane, he would refuse to enforce them, as he is sworn to do, and actively deter FEDERAL AGENTS from doing their jobs.

He’s Kim Davis with a badge and a SWAT team.

Not only does this disqualify him for any position of trust at any level of government, it makes him responsible for the deaths of “his” citizens.

Litte Ole Tom DeLay is busy as a one legged man in a butt kickin’ contest.

Why, just look here.

So he’s gone from “I am the government,” to speaking to the Austin Republican Club. That’s a long slide with lotsa blisters. Do you know how many people are Republicans in Austin. Eleven. Their website hasn’t been updated since December. Of last freekin’ year. And where do they meet? At an old plantation house, where they recall the good old days.

A special note to my Austin friends: cover your hot tubs and keep your daughters indoors.  Hot Tub Tom is back home and ready to partee!

Thanks to Patti for the heads up.

In Sunland Park, New Mexico, a city councilman was just arrested for having less than a ounce of marijuana in his car.

I want to tell the arresting officers something.

Have some mercy, fellas!  If anybody needs a joint, it’s this guy.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.

All I heard on CNN Breaking News on my iPhone was that there had been a shooting at a college in Oregon.

The Beauty Shop has a customer who is friend of mine who teaches at Oregon State.  I pulled the car over and with trembling hands found CNN online with my phone.  I felt immediate relief that it wasn’t at her school, but once the full impact of this horror hit me and it was a while before I felt able to safely drive again.

I am certain that nothing will change.  Not a damn thing.

Once this country decided that we could bear the cold blooded massacre of our small innocent children, the fight for gun control was over.  Guns won.

Yeah, I am bitter.