Pastor Steve Furtick of the Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, brings in 20,000 worshippers and $500,000 every weekend.  That’s tax-free money.

I guess some eyebrows raised when it got out that they “asked volunteers and employees alike to sign a confidentiality agreement, which threatens to sue if volunteers and members disclose church finances.”

Hummm … Then there’s the fact that they give away 12% of that they take in.  Nobody knows what exactly happens to the rest of the money. I suppose that church members don’t care because they get Jesus out of the deal.

Furtick was recently asked how much money he makes.  His answer?

That would be the most arrogant thing I could do and it would rob me of the blessings of what Jesus said, which is that when you give, you don’t get up and tell everyone how much you’ve given.

Uh, we’re asking how much you get, not how much you give.

The church recently built him a $2,000,000 home which he says is “not that great of a house.” It’s got 7 and half bathrooms, which is probably the bare minimum because this guy is full of crap.

Thanks to Alan for the heads up.

Okay, so Jeb Bush said this.

“We should declare war and harness all of the power the U.S. can bring to bear, both diplomatic and military, of course, to be able to take out ISIS… We have the capabilities of doing this, we just haven’t shown the will.”

Note that he doesn’t say which country he wants to invade and there’s a good reason for that: Dick Cheney hasn’t decided yet.

I think he wants to take out Isis the way his brother took out Osama bin Laden.

Click right here for a clever idea.

Officials in the French government are confirming at the time of publication that they are in conversations with high-level French attorneys in an effort to determine if a bill for cleaning up after the horrific massacre in the streets of Paris late Friday night.

Reminder: it’s satire but nonetheless a good idea.

Thanks to Nobby for the heads up.

Okay, so in this far right corner we have Jeb! Bush, a man who has been trying desperately to just slide into the oval office without anyone noticing.

He blew his cover.

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush said over the weekend that the U.S. should respond to the terrorist attacks in Paris by carefully screening out Syrian refugees who are not Christians.

Okay, that’s one of the most unChristian things I’ve ever heard.

The first question has to be: how will we know if they are Christians?  Some people lie about that, you know.  And most of those who do lie are running for President of the United Damn States of America in the Republican primary.

So, what’s the test?  Must they walk on water and promise to herd Mexicans back to Mexico?

Jeb!’s reasoning is that Isis is “slaughtering” Christians.  Well, Jeb!, if that is true why did Isis pick on France, where President Hollande is an atheist and a damn socialist?

And he’s the smart brother.  Go home, Jeb!, you’re an idiot.

You knew it was coming because nobody, and I mean nobody, raises money like Jesus.

Okay, so it’s not “Americans For Jesus and Guns Who Are Against Gays, Abortions, and the IRS,” which would be the biggest fundraising PAC of all time, but it’s damn close.

They almost have a website.  It’s a WIX template with all the template stuff still on there.  But they add their name at the top and a Jesus picture.

If anybody knows the dude, give him a high five for me because he’s going to raise a whole mess of money from really stupid people.