When Jeb! Bush was asked how if felt to be the front runner and then fall to 3%, he responded.

“I hated that. I feel much better back here.”

Oh dear, Honey, it’s tough being the little brother.  And sad.

I bet that family still makes him sit at the Non-Presidential table for Christmas dinner.  They might even let Dick Cheney come over and shoot him in the face just for entertainment.

Thanks to Tee for the heads up.

As you read here, New Mexico Governor and Stinkin’ Chairwoman of the Republican Governor’s Association, Susana Martinez, got grass-hugging, snot-slinging drunk and made quite the scene at a nice hotel.

Well, the bad part about getting drunk is that you eventually sober up.

“I want to apologize for the conduct of my staff the night of our holiday party,” she wrote. “There was apparently a party in a hotel room earlier in the night that was disruptive. Someone was also throwing snowballs from a balcony. None of that should have happened and I was not aware of the extent of the behavior, until recently. And that behavior is not acceptable.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowgirl.  Throwing your staff under the bus is really uncool.

But, she’s not finished.

“I also want to admit that I made a mistake when I went to speak to the receptionist and asked her about the complaint. I should not have gotten involved in trying to resolve the situation, nor should I have spoken to the dispatcher on the phone. I was wrong to speak with them like that, and I apologize.”

Like what, Honey?  Like drunk?

Apparently not.

In an appearance on the Albuquerque television station KOB-TV’s Friday evening newscast, the governor said she was “absolutely not” trying to abuse her power as governor.

Martinez told KOB that she had 1 1/2 cocktails over four or five hours at the party.

So, she acts like a drunk obnoxious nincompoop all the time?  Is that what she’s saying?

Look, I’m no political consultant or anything, but I think she would have been much better off saying, “Hell, I was so drunk that I thought I was the queen of damn England.”  I mean, you can fix drunk.  Butthole ain’t something you can fix so easily.

As you know, not a day goes by that I don’t get mad at someone.

Today it’s a Texas Democrat.

We have severe paranoia in Texas over bringing refugees into our state.  The Friendship State has become The Get The Hell Off My Lawn State.

Our Governor want to build a wall around the state.  Hell, he looks with suspicion on people from New Mexico.  Our Lt. Gov thinks we should use refugees for target practice.

We have had some Texas Democrats stand strong.  Real strong.  Representative Gene Wu from Houston is one tough guy.

Wu points out, “our state’s leadership has chosen to target Syrian refugees and bully resettlement organizations in order to score political points.

“Targeting families who have already been victimized by ISIS and the Syrian civil war, and who have already been vetted through an intensive two-year federal review, is blatantly politicizing these refugees’ plight,” Wu added. “I hope that the Department of Justice can put this issue to rest with their investigation.”

And then there’s Richard Raymond.  “State Rep. Richard Raymond, D-Laredo, proposed subjecting the refugees to lie detector tests.”

What the hell on a bell in my cell?

A Hispanic legislator from the damn border of Texas thinks lie detector tests are the solution.

At a meeting of the Texas Health and Human Services Commission this week, State Rep. Richard Raymond, D-Laredo, brought up the idea of biometric screening.

“I mean, how hard is it to get an interpreter who can interpret and then ask a question like, ‘Are you a member of ISIS?'”

Well, that’s just brilliant.  First, Richard, we don’t have any interpreters because they have shut down all the schools teaching “terrorist talk.”  Who the tarnation in Texas is going to raise their hand when asked, “Yo, Buddy, you talk that terrorist talk stuff because we need some of them?”  Honey, that’s the entry question to the target practice thing.

Richard, you’re Hispanic.  They don’t want you here either.

Maybe you’re the one who needs a lie detector test, Richard.  “Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Republican Club?”  Better yet, “Richard, who the hell do you think you are?”

Cheeeezzzzzz.

As most of you know, Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick is holy-crap-he’s-eating-live-frogs crazy.  The man has a couple of notches missing from his cogwheel.  And, Honey, when the chain hits those blank spaces, epic whacko occurs.

Epic.

Allen West epic.

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick on Friday announced the appointment of conservative firebrand Allen West, a former Florida congressman and prominent Fox News contributor, to the state’s Sunset Advisory Commission.

It appears that the violent and discredited West moved to Texas.

“There is no mission more important than working towards a more efficient and effective state government,” West said in a statement. “As a graduate of the University of Tennessee and a former member of Congress, it is a blessing to follow in the footsteps of Davy Crockett who came to Texas to fight for liberty and freedom.”

Allen West, I knew Davy Crockett.  Davy Crockett was a friend of mine.  Sir, you are no Davy Crockett.

Moses Rose maybe, but no on the Davy Crockett thing.

The Sunset Commission reviews state agencies for efficiency. You can bet that Allen West will find every social agency helping children or old people should be destroyed.  Patrick had to import meanness.  Texas didn’t have anybody that mean and, hell, we have people meaner than ten acres of snakes.

It’s going to be a Mean-O’-Thon in Austin.

New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez’s name was often mentioned as a possible GOP presidential running mate.

Not so much now.

The police were called to a hotel where Governor Martinez and her staff were having a party.  The Governor drunk dials 911 to find out why the police are there.

Quote of the year:

“I’m sorry, there is no one on the balcony, and there’s no one throwing bottles off the balcony. And if they were, it was about six hours ago.”

You can hear it all right here.  It’s pretty damn funny, y’all.

She now qualifies for public office in Texas.

Thanks to Pam for the heads up.

Remember Sid Miller, the Texas Agriculture Commissioner who promised to slap anybody who wished him Happy Holidays?

Thank you Susan The Neon Nurse …