George HW Bush; George W Bush; Dan Patrick; Ted Cruz; Allen West; Dan Rodimer; Chad Prather.  What do these individuals have in common?  First, they either held, hold, or are running for political office in Texas.  Second, NONE of them are actually from Texas.  HW and W were well known Connecticut blue bloods who wrapped themselves in the Texas flag to run for federal office.  Ted Cruz is from Calgary, Canada. Allen West, who was born in Georgia and went to Congress from Florida, was oddly elected chair of the Texas Republican party and recently resigned to run against Abbott for Texas governor.  That leaves Dan Rodimer, from New Jersey, and Chad Prather, also from New Jersey.  What a coinkydink.

You can correctly characterize all of these men as carpetbaggers; most were/are shitheads.  What separates Rodimer and Prather from the others, though, is that not only are they shitheads, they’re also posers, dressing up in cowboy costumes and talking with that fake gnarly drawl that those who are not from Texas believe is how native Texans talk.  While it’s true that many Texans do talk with that drawl, we also recognize a poser pretending to be from Texas.  And, it mightily pisses us off.  These two clowns really piss me off.

Rodimer is just your everyday weirdo who decided he wanted to be in Congress after he failed at being a professional wrestler, so he moved to Nevada where he ran and was beaten badly after allegations of domestic violence surfaced.  So, he had the great idea of moving to Texas, changing his voice, donning a cowboy hat and renaming himself “Big Dan” Rodimer to run again for Congress.  His chances faded pretty quickly when the Washington Post picked up his story and showed the ad he made pretending to ride a bull using a stunt double.  The ad was simply awful, even cringeworthy.

But compared to Prather, Rodimer is a minor leaguer of fakes.  Prather is the world champion of loudmouthed, boastful, smartass 5-inch-brim-hat-wearing fakes.  He styles himself as a comedian and a “fast-talking, observational humorist”, but has scrubbed his New Jersey roots from his online persona.  In fact, he’s damn near scrubbed all of his past from his online persona. Besides having an online gig on Glenn Beck’s The Blaze website, he’s a YouTuber, usually done from the front seat of his big I-Have-a-Tiny-Penis pick’em-up truck, and he’s a dynamic self-promotion machine.  His videos are a fast talking stream of bile delivered with a smile, whining about “libruls”, Biden, Pelosi, and everyone not Trump.  The most irritating thing about him is his boasting about being “Unapologetically Southern”, not understanding that those of us actually from Texas don’t consider ourselves southern, but Texan.  The South is NOT Texas.  He’s also more than happy to let you mistake him for a native Texan, which he most certainly isn’t.  He got my attention when he announced he was running for governor against Abbott because he got pissed off when Abbott mandated masks for 5 minutes last year before caving to Trump and dropping the mandate WAY too early, contributing to the 53,000 deaths in Texas from the virus.  Prather’s entire platform is made up of two planks: “I’m pissed off about masks”, and “I need to sell some T-Shirts”.  That’s it.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Texas is a most welcoming state and we love for people to move here.  But we need REAL people to move here who are respectful, hardworking, and sincerely wanting to put down roots.  Clowns like Rodimer and Prather are NOT who we’re looking for, and we goddam sure don’t want them trying to represent us in Austin or Washington.  Add Allen West and Dan Patrick to this toxic waste, and Texas looks worse if that’s even possible after the damage done by Abbott, Cruz, and Cornyn.  Here’s how bad it is in Texas Republican politics right now…the primary race is made up of a Trump Mini Me (complete with a failed Wall policy), and two carpetbaggers, West and Prather.  Jesus.

My message to these posers?  Leave us alone and go back to wear you came from.  We have enough problems and we have to get Abbott out of office, but we most certainly don’t need any help from these fakes.  So, #NoPosersinTexas

God; Guns; Gays; Prayer in Schools; War on Christmas; Politically Correct; Death Tax; Illegals; National Anthem; ACORN; Benghazi; Massive Voter Fraud; Stop the Steal; White Genocide.  These, and dozens of other bumper sticker talking points are all fodder to whip up fake outrage in the base to keep them wound up and angry over non-issues.  The latest is Critical Race Theory.  Virtually unheard of before March of this year, it is now the key topic on Fox Noise, OAN, social media, and Hate Radio all over the country.

What’s going on?  What’s going on is what always goes on…whip up an issue to piss off the base, flog it until it becomes ingrained in conservative DNA, then find another fake issue to piss off the base, flog it until it becomes ingrained in conservative DNA, rinse, repeat.  They use the tactic to drive the base to the polls and for fundraising.

Media Matters has been following these tactics for years and have publish a new review to the Critical Race Theory outrage.  Now, to be clear, Critical Race Theory has been in academia for over 40 years.  It was developed back then, primarily in law schools, including Harvard, to frame the approach to legislation in an effort to understand how racist policies from centuries ago have become ingrained in our laws.  It’s not political and has not been taught in schools to children.  This issue was dredged up as Trump started flogging the fake issue by banning discussions of race in the military and in government agencies call it “sensitivity training” and other pejoratives as part of his campaign in the 2020 election.

To show how these issues are flogged, Media Matters tracks the number of mentions of certain key words.  Here’s their recent tracking of Critical Race Theory on Fox Noise.

Media Matters did a great exposé a couple of years ago about how Bill O’Reilly and Lou Dobbs whipped up the War on Christmas in 2004 which is now resurrected and marched down Bullshit Street every holiday season.  Bullshit is the proper descriptor for all of this, but it’s worse than that.  It’s corrosive and undermines people’s confidence in government, has destroyed all decorum between political ideologies and is a common tactic in totalitarian governments like Russia.  The proliferation of this bullshit makes truth unknowable.  Normally rational people spout said bullshit on social media in a continuous stream, destroying civility between digital and even actual friends.  This is how you get a HUGE proportion of Republicans actually believing Trump is still president and how whites are being systematically eliminated from society.  It’s all bullshit, but it’s also ingrained in the belief systems of millions of Americans.  Even in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary, people still believe this bullshit.

It’s tragic and seriously threatens our democracy.

Let’s face it – a majority of Texans who bother to vote are stupid.  After all, we get politicians like Fled Cruz (from Canada), Screwy Louie Gohmert, Sid Jesus Shot Miller, Dan I’m a Navy Seal! I’m a Navy Seal! Crenshaw, Rootin’ Tootin’ Rick Perry, Greg I Sue and You Can’t Abbott among many others.  There are perpetually zero days since some Texas politician makes us a national embarrassment to normal people.  Well, it’s gotten worse if that’s even possible; we have another carpetbagger.

Enter Dan Rodimer.  Ol’ Dan (who calls himself Big Dan) is from New Jersey, born and raised.  He attended Seton Hall prep school, played football for the University of South Florida, and graduated from Ava Maria Law School in 2013.  But that’s not all he’s done; between college and law school, Big Dan played semi-pro football and arena football, then changed his name to Dan Rodman and became a professional wrestler, associated with WWE (yeah, THAT WWE).  Oh, and was charged with assault and domestic assault (by his now wife) between 2010 and 2013.  He agreed to deferred adjudication in one case and attended anger management training to get those charges dropped.

And there’s more; a lot more.  In 2018, Rodimer moved to Nevada and ran for the Nevada State senate.  He lost.  THEN, Rodimer ran for the US House from the Third District of Nevada.  He lost to incumbent, Susan Lee, a Democrat.  He’s not done, though.  Earlier this year, he moved to Mansfield, Texas, bought a cowboy hat and boots, then gained a southern drawl, to position himself to run in a special election for the Sixth District, now vacant since Ron Wright died from COVID in February.  Oh, and there’s more.  He’s positioning himself as none other than a bull rider, wearing the now familiar flak vest riders now wear to provide some protection when they get stomped by some angry bovine.

Rodimer is as fake as Trump’s hair.  He’s a chameleon, desperately trying to be relevant by getting a high profile job somewhere – New Jersey prep boy, second rate Florida football player, professional fake wrestler, fake Nevadan, now fake Texan and fake bull rider.  His new video ad includes a bull ride where Big Dan a stand-in actually got on a bull. How bad is Rodiman’s charade? None other than Matt Gaetz, drooling Trumpist and career liar, condemned Rodimer as a fake Texan:

Fake Texan makes fake video of fake bull ride.

We already have enough phonies in congress.

Texans, please send this Nevada man back to his true home state (where he lost two prior elections).

Texas shouldn’t import its congressmen.

Big Dan is all hat, no cattle. https://t.co/CcGZsUG4kv

— Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) March 26, 2021

First time I’ve ever agreed (or ever will) with Gaetz.  Advice for “Big Dan”:  Go home, wherever that is.  Leave us alone.  We want you to leave because Texas voters are stupid and will probably fall for you.  The last thing Texas needs is another snake oil salesman representing us.  We’re full up on those.

The Caravan; mobilizing 5,200 federal troops to the border; executive order to end birthright citizenship.  Besides the “…gleeful cruelty and dickishness,” as Jon Stewart describes Trump’s behavior, these moves are simply pandering to the Knuckledragger GOP Base to drive them to the polls. This “crisis” is, yes, I’m going to say it, “Trumped up” by Trump doing the bidding of his enfant terrible aide, Stephen Miller, resident white supremacist.  It’s all nonsense, based on lies and exaggeration.  On November 7, all this will go back into the normal background noise, just like in 2014 when the Ebola outbreak in the US and ISIS fighters on the border ceased to exist on November 5, the day after election day.

After much consideration and contemplation, I have determined that the American electorate is stupid.  It has to be whipped up into a frenzy to just go to the neighborhood polling place to cast a vote.  Apparently, politicians have figured out that scared voters are active voters.

Stupid.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  There’s an incumbent Republican blonde congresshoney in North Carolina who has been accused of dabbling in moderation.

Out comes the guns, bygawd!

Incumbent Republican Renee Ellmers is facing a challenge from goofybutt crazy former North Carolina GOP spokeswoman Kay Daly.  I need to tell you that Renee Ellmers is no moderate.  She hates Muslims, Hispanics, and hungry children plenty enough.

Apparently her opponent Kay didn’t get mellowed-out during the Pope’s visit like everybody else did, and she’s obviously about a quart low on estrogen.

Get a damn load of her latest teevee ad.

Something tells me that there’s gonna be all manner of insane commercials during the GOP primary so keep an eye out for them and send your entries right here.

Thanks to Claudia for this one.