Okay, I read this really strange article that David sent me.  It claims that the Obama Administration is “aggressively” enforcing an American law that bans bribery overseas.

First off, how does one “aggressively” enforce laws.  Either you enforce them or you don’t.  Can you even imagine the wingnut conspiracies if Obama wasn’t enforcing the laws of the United States of America?  Why, Honey, overnight NOT bribing  people would be a tenet of Sharia law.

But, damn.  Here’s the catcher for me —

Lanny Breuer, chief of the department’s criminal division, said he’s troubled by suggestions that payments to individuals to win business are above board if they work for private companies and not government-owned ones.

“Corporate bribery, whether of government officials or commercial bribery, is bad for business in general and just plain wrong,” Breuer said in an interview with POLITICO.

“I don’t really accept the fact that the FCPA is truly a burden on American business,” he added. “Our companies should compete based on the quality of their products and the quality of their services and not based on corruption. [And] it’s not as if we’re only prosecuting American companies. Half our [cases involve] foreign companies or foreign subsidiaries” that do business in the U.S. or are traded on a U.S. stock exchange.

So, let me explain to these businessmen how to do this.  You do not take them to dinner or offer to pay for their cab.  That’s just stoopid and it’s obviously bribery.  Instead you give them “campaign contributions.”

America was built on “campaign contribution bribery.”

At least in Texas, you can spend campaign contributions to hire your adult children at outrageous salaries to be your campaign manager, buy automobiles and trucks, purchase clothing, or pay rent on a campaign apartment.

Campaign contributions are tax free.  And, in my county, if you want to see who’s getting bought, you have to go to an obscure office not even located in the county seat that’s only open during regular business hours.  So, you gotta take off work and find the damn place.

Bribery is so inefficient.  With campaign contributions, you even get a receipt for your bribe!