Guys, I’m usually pretty good at understanding, and when I look at things I can semi-acknowledge what I am seeing.

But Antifa stumps me.  Nobody can seem to explain to me what the fool tarnation it is and why it does terrible things in secret. I don’t get this secret thing. How does that happen?  There are supposedly thousands of Antifas all over the country who operate in complete silence.  I know for a fact that’s not possible.

Take Thelma, for example.  Thelma, who is known as The Texas Chainsaw Manicurist, knows every damn secret in this town and can keep a secret like it was her grandma’s heart.  But if you offered Thelma a fully equipped pink Winnebago with the Dolly Parton interior package and $10,000 cash money, she’d tell you everything she knows.

People can’t keep secrets.  And if you don’t believe that, look at Donald Trump.  Everybody he’s hired at the White House eventually rats him out.

There’s a thing in Texas that there’s no such thing as a live armadillo. Nobody has ever seen one – all you see are dead ones in the middle of the damn road.  Somebody out in West Texas goes all over the state leaving dead armadillos in the road.  Those suckers are born dead.  It’s a big conspiracy and I’m surprised if you haven’t heard it.

Which brings us to Antifa.

I figure I’m anti-fascist as anybody.  I’m also anti-Trump, which is pretty much the same thing.  So, I have decided that the beauty salon can be the Antifa World Headquarters.  We’ll get a banner and everything. Let’s see who shows up.

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