And We Might Have a Winner!
Y’all, I think we might have a winner in the Twisting With Jesus category for this election.
This weekend, Pennsylvania Republican Congressweirdo Glenn Thompson, says he’s not happy with Donald Trump’s dirty talk, but said that his wife explained it to him …
“Her explanation to me was that God takes the imperfect, and makes perfect for his purpose,” Thompson said at the debate at Penn State University.
Yeah, well, dude, exactly when is that gonna happen? I’m asking for a friend. I mean, Trump has made a lot of promises for his first day in office. If God slacks off that day, Trump could nuke Canada.
And, Honey, I am not asking for perfect, I’m only asking for sane.
That explains what happened to the “Golden Rule” forgotten by Pervangelists. They’ve replaced it with the “Donnie knows nothing, therefore he must know something” Rule. Oh ye ever so willing to believe, believe it. Believe it that your emperor has no clothes.
1Twisting with Jesus brought forth images in my mind of Thompson and Jesus playing Twister:
Jesus: “Okay, right hand on women’s genitals. Tongue–down women’s throats. Are we having fun yet?”
“Taking the imperfect and making it perfect.” My Aunt Fanny.
2And it rain’s on the just and the unjust.— But you don’t have to stand out in it.
3Also we now know for sure, Drumpf is on Drugs. He wants Clinton to be tested. What more proof do we need.?
Glenn is a lot smarter than that. What the heck is he doing? Evading the opportunity to do a smack-down on Trump? He knows for a fact that in a Trump administration none of the farmers in his rural district would have a hope in Hell of getting seasonal labor from out of the country. LIke a lot of other places in the U.S. of A., there is a citizen-laborer deficit in his district. In short, not enough local U.S. people around to take on all the damn work of farming. And I mean ALL! Without seasonal workers from out of the country, more farms would go bankrupt. No farms, no food. No farms, no BEER!
4“makes perfect for his purpose”
So God’s purpose is to ensure that Clinton wins, we all realize what a narcissistic d-bag Trump is, how insane and despicable the Republicans have become and those so-called “christians” exposed as pestiferous god-botherers? Mission accomplished, God.
5I must disagree with maggie. “GT” is a real life version of the character from HMS Pinafore who sang:
“I was sent by a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party’s call
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
I thought so little they rewarded me by making me the ruler of the Queen’s navy.”
There are very few seats in Congress safer than this one. And it hasn’t had a representative capable of independent thought since Bill Clinger gave it up.
6It’s true! Trump is a perfect mess. And God is saying Don’t. Be. Like. This.
On second thought, why don’t we all just leave God out of this, m’kay?
7I heard that line and similar a lot in the fundy churches my sainted mother’s family attended. I suspect it has the same meaning for fundy/evangelicals as “Bless you and your momma’s heart” has for some older southern women. “You are an idiot but I like you and care about you so I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
8But wouldn’t this logic apply equally well (or better) to Hillary Clinton, who has lived a far more Christian life than Trump has?
And who is a lot closer to perfect.
92 Timothy 3:1-5 New International Version (NIV)
3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
10And the statue of Joe Patino was brought to tears.
11Their book o’BS states that NO ONE can know the mind of gawd!!! But all these dimwitted ahole xtians keep stating what gawd thinks!!!! A people wonder why I call xtians or any religious group LIARS!!!
12At one time I proposed reducing the number of House seats by 10%. People like Thompson and Gohmert along with a quick review of Nevada’s four districts suggest we could up that number to 50%. NV would ‘lose’ Cresent Hardy and Mark Amodei. I’d say 75% and give up Joe Heck’s district, but there is a chance Henderson, NV could go sane and Democratic this year. This in the same year the state as a whole could go really st00pid and promote Joe Heck to Harry Reid’s Senate seat.
East Texas, I feel your pain.
13So if you don’t need to be perfect because your god will make you perfect if he wants to, that’s a great out! I’m going to go swill whiskey and fondle some dancing boys so I can maybe get to be more perfect!
For reasons too long to explain, The (London) Times has an editorial cartoon of Boris Johnson with his head up his rear end. Since Boris is a big guy with a blond mop on his head, guess who I thought it was at first.
14Rhea, I too had one of those Scooby Doo moments wondering why Sec Kerry was standing next to Donnie, before realizing it was his British doppelgänger Boris.
15Another volunteer for reducing the size of the House, Steve “cantaloupe” King.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/10/rep-steve-king-uses-bush-v-gore-proof
16Is the US House of Representatives determined to embarrass us? This guy didn’t want to be left out of the action:
http://crooksandliars.com/files/imagecache/node_teaser/primary_image/16/10/paul_ryan_clown_car.jpg
17PKM: No go bro. The apportionment of each House member stands at around 750,000 people. Think of the millions more who’ll be ignored if we lower the number of Reps. The solution to this mania? A better educated and responsive citizenry. Now…. how we get there, well, that’s the challenge, eh? How do you get 320 million people to care? As I have told others, our Constitution is just words on parchment. If you want it to be a “living” document, you’ve go to pull you’re head out of your butt, think it through, and get moving. Unfortunately, in today’s America, that may be asking too much. Ooh, look, the Kardashians are on!
And it’s not just here. There was another huge rally in Paris by Manif Pour Tous against the existing same-sex marriage law in France. So much for liberte, egalite, fraternite. Sigh.
18This is probably inappropriate and an insult to pumpkins everywhere, but I thought you announcing the winner of the jack-o-lantern lookalike contest.
19JAKvirginia, nothing wrong in attempting to educate the citizenry. But that takes time, so for the interim I’ll go with the math. 50% fewer House seats actually representing their apportioned 1,500,000 constituents is a bargain.
Friends in CA say they’ll throw in Darrell Issa if we make the going away party a bonfire.
20PKM: I hear you. But remember, you’ll be trying to get this idea through an R-controlled House. The only thing they’ll pass is gas. Unless a Dem gives them gas. Then they’ll hold it in till they explode.
Hmmmm…. now there’s an idea.
21Honey, God done slacked off the day DJT was born and hasn’t been back on duty since.
Today, I was trying to puzzle out what it must be like to be inside Donnie’s head and I came up with a theory that, I believe, covers all the known facts: He’s a metaphysical solipsist.
It’s not that other people don’t MATTER to him — it’s that they don’t EXIST except as backdrops and scenery to the drama of his own life.
OK, that’s a weight off my mind — Donnie has been defined. Except . . . now what do we do about it?
22This is what happens when your wife quotes Scripture she heard an ignorant preacher bellow from the pulpit, and you the husband don’t have a clue how to interpret it–or even if it’s really Scripture, or the ranting preacher misquoted it.
I leave it to the class to look up the relevant passage, discover that it doesn’t say God will turn The Donald into a Perfect Person (or has so turned him, or will so turn him after the election) and that the passages of interest to discerning the nature of human beings are of the “the tree is known by its fruit” kind. (The problem there being that some people aren’t concerned that the tree bear fruit, as that it bear the kind of fruit they want, served on a golden platter, but that’s another discussion.)
23God’s been working on Donnie for 70 years. It might be time to give up the attempts.I think he’s baked, er half-baked.
24I hope God is not looking at The Donald too closely or He’ll be reaching for another ark.
25