And True The Vote Said, “chirp, chirp.”
Ahhh … yes, cricket sounds from True the Vote.
Fifty-year-old Robert Monroe has been charged for voting more than a dozen times in 4 elections.
A complaint claimed that Monroe voted five times in Gov. Scott Walker’s (R) recalled election. He also was accused of voting illegally in a 2011 Wisconsin Supreme Court election, a 2012 primary, and the 2012 presidential election.
But, it was really all very innocent. Monroe is an executive in the health care industry, which explains the reason he voted more often than he changed his socks.
For his part, Monroe insisted to investigators that he did not remember voting in the elections because he takes drugs for Attention Deficit and Obsessive Compulsive disorders.
No, seriously, he said that. Uh, I’m no medical expert but I suspect the problem was that he wasn’t taking his drugs.
It doesn’t say how he voted, but he does give money to Republicans.
And there you have the real voter fraud…
1He’s a Republican and charged with 13 felony counts and he runs a healthcare company.
They even have his DNA on the absentee ballot envelopes! He should be doing at least 13 yrs in prison, one for every fraudulent vote.
Hope they check to see if he actually had prescriptions for those drugs. The “I forgot” excuse 13 times? As if.
Meanwhile, how many probably elderly, probably minority, probably poor people can’t vote because they can’t get a birth certificate or have to travel to a distant office with no public transportation and take time off to do it if they’re employed?
They’re not the ones committing voter fraud.
2If he’s that forgetful then shouldn’t he be removed from his job? Or do executives not need to be competent?
3It can’t possibly be voter fraud, according to Republicans. The guy is white. Voter fraud is perpetuated by dark-skinned people and Democrats only.
4“GOP’s voter fraud humiliation: Turns out Wisconsin’s worst case is a Republican”
http://www.salon.com/2014/06/24/gops_voter_fraud_humiliation_turns_out_wisconsins_worst_case_is_a_republican/
5And who are the R dominated legislatures trying to keep from voting? Their donors. Heaven forbid!
6He’s obviously taking his drugs now, or he’d have come up with a better excuse. Affluenza, perhaps?
I expect he’ll be sentenced to probation, like all the other rich felons with the proper Republican donor credentials. Remember how the Catholic Church used to sell “indulgences”? Same thing.
7Gee, if all of us voted multiple times and forgot how we did it we sure could make a difference. I’d settle for all of us getting one or two neighbors to vote.
8As LBJ (and others) said, “Vote early. Vote often.”
9the WI AG will probably “Gum um” !!!
10Monroe: Hmm, I want to make sure I vote for my good friend Scott Walker, but I may be busy on election day. I think I’ll do an absentee ballot.
OCD: better request it now, request it now, you want to request it now, request it now
ADD: ooo, look, 7 ways to tell if your spouse is cheating
OCD: ballot, ballot, gotta have a ballot
Monroe orders his ballot, then turns his desk lamp on and off 5 times.
3 days later, ADD has elided over that memory
Monroe: Did I request an absentee ballot?
ADD: look, this puppy has the cutest way to beg EVAH
OCD: did you get that ballot, need a ballot, gotta have a ballot, need a ballot, Scott needs us, needs us, ballot
ADD: I wonder if we’ve been mentioned anywhere, let’s google ourselves
OCD: Must. Have. Ballot. Cannot. Move.
Monroe orders another ballot, and googles “Monroe ADD OCD” closes his browser, opens it, and googles again.
This goes on until….
Monroe: Oh, look, an absentee ballot.
OCD: yay! fill it out must vote fill it out must vote fill it out must vote
ADD: Fill it out later, jeez the election isn’t for another 6 weeks. Look, starlet sideboob!
OCD: it’s just Lindsay Lohan, and we’ve all seen THAT. must vote must vote
ADD: lalalalala I’m not listening to you
Monroe manages to vote, and mail it back, but is not entirely sure if he voted for Lindsay Lohan, signed his name as Lindsay Lohan or…look! Grumpy cat disapproves!
By the time the next ballot arrives, ADD has faded the previous vote into background noise, and is taking a nap.
OCD: quick, fill it out before he wakes up! Oh look, another ballot, fill that one out too! One of them might not make it.
Next ballot arrives a few days later and…
11ADD: I think I can remember all the words to the Sesame Street Theme.
OCD: Are you sure you filled in those previous ballots? Must vote, must vote, Scott needs us, AMERICA needs us.
ADD: SUN-ny day, sweepin the CLOUDS away….
.
.
.
.
.
…and THAT, your honor, is how I voted absentee eleventy nine times in… ooo, look! A ladybug!
daChipster, I bow to your brilliance [genuflects]
12Don’t they check to see who has already voted?
13Corinne: they do, but usually only at the county level. This guy’s son was on record as having voted twice in Waukesha County, once absentee, but denied requesting an absentee ballot, which mysteriously went to his father’s address in Milwaukee County.
Once they pulled on that thread, the whole thing unraveled, including voting in Wisconsin AND Indiana as himself in November, 2012.
My little joke post notwithstanding, there’s no way having ADD and OCD can make you drive to Indiana in a rental car to vote for Mitt twice in the same election.
Insanity maybe, but not ADD/OCD.
14@daChipster reminds me of that animated lab: “SQUIRREL!!”
15He must think everyone else is dumber than a box of stinky sox. No, we do not confuse amnesia with ADHD! We are indeed smarter than the average CEO! And, yes, there actually are organizations out there who hunt for incompetent people to fill CEO positions! That way the Board of Directors can run roughshod over everything else. Definitely put this guy someplace where he can’t hurt himself and then claim he doesn’t remember how he did it!
16In Texas they check votes at county level but it’s all connected to the Voter Activated Network which surely must be connected at the state level. Isn’t it? They do all but take a blood sample at local elections.
17Maybe they should dip the voters’s fingers in purple ink.
18ADD medications is what *prevents* my accidentally voting multiple times.
19Thats embarrassing, but of course the mainstream won’t report this. Poor old Mabble(93) now in Mississippi can’t vote because all these years she has never gotten a picture ID and voted only once in every election she could vote in. The righty’s are not Americans, they are anti-americans!
20You know if you remove the vowels from the name Reince Priebus, you’re left with RNC-PR-BS.
21