The 75 year old Mayor of Talladega, Alabama, made the news today because he was shamelessly attacked outside a barber shop where he works part time.

Larry Barton, who is about to run for his fifth term as mayor of Talladega — and who was re-elected in 2011 after serving prison time for fraud — told NBC News from his hospital room at the University of Alabama that the attack began around 7:30 a.m. (8:30 a.m. ET) Saturday in the parking lot of Cahaba Heights Plaza Barber Shop in Vestavia Hills.

The assailant was wearing a coat and hood and his weapon of choice was “a sawed-off baseball bat.”  My theory is that a sawed-off baseball bat is actually a lesser weapon than a actual baseball bat.  However sawed-off baseball bat sound so damn badass.

In Barton’s own words.

Barton said that he eventually grabbed the bat and held on to it, then kicked the man twice in the groin.

He’s 75 years old.

Barton identified the assailant as 72 year old Benny Green, a man who used to do a talk radio show with him.  Barton says he has “no idea” why Green would attack him.

But, someone else does.

Barton said that he didn’t know why Green would attack him, but The Birmingham News reported that it could have been over an alleged sex tape.

“Barton was caught on hidden video having sex with Green’s wife,” a former divorce lawyer for Green said, according to the newspaper.

Barton, however, told NBC News that he didn’t know anything about a sex tape. “I don’t know what they’re talking about,” he said.

He’s 75 years old.  He probably forgot all about it.

Thank you, Alabama.