Actively Retroactive
So now the story is that Mitt Romney retired retroactively?
Mitt Romney adviser Ed Gillespie said Sunday that the candidate “retired retroactively” from his job at Bain Capital, which Romney maintains that he left in 1999 despite evidence suggesting he remained involved with the company until 2002.
That is very cool. Mitt Romney has found the secret to time travel.
I’m voting for him in hopes that he’ll share it with the rest of us. I would use that power for good, not evil. Like, I would retroactively go back and not eat that cheesecake I had last night. Disco? I’d go back and retroactively tell the Bee Gees to shut the hell up.
Imagine the fun the we could have with that whole space/time continuum thing if Romney would share his secret.
There is a downside, though. I don’t think Romney would take us back to the future. He would take us back to the back. I guess the only thing we could change is the invention of fire or something. I mean cheesecake is a fairly recent invention.
First an Etch-a-Sketch, now a time machine – this Romney guy is just full of toys, ain’t he?
All this talk about Mitt Romney retiring from Bain retroactively has me wondering, can I retire retroactively and still keep my salary?
I mean as a teacher , I did not make anywhere near Mittens salary as CEO, CFO, sole stockholder, etc of Bain but if I was able to retire retroactively and still keep my salary, well shoot, my husband, the cat and I could afford to put some insulation in the house, heck we might be able to take a vacation! Granted not one with jet skis and not at one of our non-existent vacation houses with the car elevators but maybe one to say a Motel 6 or something.
This could solve a lot of our economic woes here in the US, I mean if you can retire retroactively and still keep your salary and your years of experience along with expanding your benefits – well I don’t think I have to explain the advantages of such a system! Just look at Romney and how well it has worked for him!
So I have to ask, can I retire retroactively and still keep my salary? I know Missouri’s Public School Retirement System has laws against that – come to think of it so does Massachusetts……
Still, I think this might be something worth having unions and professional organizations address, talk about a crowd pleaser! What do y’all think – it has worked well for Mittens!
1That’s it! Mitt stole a time machine ( you didn’t think he’d build his own, dija?). I think you’re onto something. Who needs that whole sciencey time space continuum thingy when we have Mitt Rmoney? Now I expect him to announce, on his first day in office, the theory of relativity is not related to him and that theory of evolution actually started in the 1830s when Joseph Smith woke up in bed, after a night of drunkin’ debauchery, with his dog and an open can of Spam.
I really need to buy shares of JiffyPop asap.
2Look at the downside – employers could tell employees on payday that they just worked the last 2 weeks for free, because they were terminated 2 weeks earlier retroactively.
3Before you can get excited about Mitt bringing us the amazing time-traveling machine, you have to think of all the ways it can be used against us!
Granted, my memory is not as sharp as it once was, but hasn’t Governor Perry done something similar?
Didn’t he admit to drawing retirement while still serving as an active Governor?
If am wrong, I apologize in advance.
4Oh ks sunflower, your memory is correct. A pattern seems to be emerging here:
* Protest government social programs, become a Senator, draw a a government paycheck, collect Social Security (Paul)
* Protest government wastful spending and lazy public workers, become governor, retire while you still hold office, collect a state pension in addition to your salary (Perry)
* Retire from Bain Capital, collect a six figure paycheck – presumably for the use of your good name, become governor, collect a pay check, invest most of those funds in off shore accounts run for President because you are a true patriot who loves your country. Collect interest if not a pay check.
As my husband always says, “I am in the wrong business!”
5All this news of Willard messing with the time space continuum has caused a temporal dichotomy and given me a headache. I’m gonna make a trip to the 1300’s where things were easier. OK I’m back. I fixed a couple things there and I feel better much now.
6It’s the Rethugs demanding to see many more years of Mitten’s tax records that has me indulging in some schaudenfreude. Big time.
7I can’t believe Gillespie has been backed into such an extreme corner that he would trot this out.He’s just made his candidate into a national laughingstock,as if Romneybot were not already a joke to anyone who is paying attention, and who has no Rethuglican axe to grind.
8Like a born-again virgin, it’s an honesty do-over. He’s taking a history mulligan. He’s indian giving on his SEC filing.
9I refuse to believe that the Time Lords would allow this; he must be a Dalek.
10Oh my! I so hope Mitt winds up being the Republican candidate. I think the debates will be great fun.
11I think his ethics also retired a long long time ago
12With all of Mitt’s other changing positions, could we really expect that he would retire from Bain Capital on one date, and one date only?
13The GOP in Arizona already declared women pregnant two weeks before they conceive, so maybe the party is sharing around this time machine. We know they want us all to go backwards in it.
“Politics is like a car. To go forward, put it in D. To go backward, put it in R.”
14@Sandy: I haven’t watched presidential debates much at all in the past, but I’m with you on this one. Rmoney reminds me of a panting, excited Labrador Retriever when he talks. I can’t wait!
15Oh, you know he’s a Dalek. What do you think happened to all those jobs?
“Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate……..”
16Brilliant as always Juanita..maybe I can retroactively not marry that schmuck that I did, and save all the $$ I spent kicking him to the curb…
17Wow…I’ll bet even President Obama doesn’t have a TARDIS like Mitt…
18I suggested to our friend Mike Luckovich that Mitt the retroactive genius will be bragging about being responsible for increased car sales because now everyone will want to buy a Delorean Time Machine.
19Not since the etch a sketch comment has Mitt’s “helpers” have been so absurd.
20Murdock may have a point about him changing his staff.
Remember that bill you forgot to pay and incurred a penalty? Just take a “Romney” and pay it retroactively without the penalty, or better yet, just decide you didn’t incur the debt in the first place. Gosh, now isn’t that simple and very handy? It’s just another version of an “Etch-A-Sketch” and solves many of life’s problems, allowing you to do over all your mistakes and bad decisions. Today I shall look back over my 73 years; bet I can find a number of places to use a Romney.
21He got paid–but he didn’t work?
Sounds like a welfare queen to me.
22I think my employer retired me retroactivly. I got paid through the end of October, but didn’t have to go to work after mid Sept and they took my office key at the end of Sept.
Also I think I’ve watched every single Presidential debate since 60, which were the first. First interest, and then employment in network television does that.
23LOL @ “Welfare queen” Good one, Mr. Wiggam!
By the way, #retroactively was the number one trending topic on Twitter last night.
LOVE IT.
24Romney’s Dilemma:
If I go back in time and veto Obamacare thus creating more low paying jobs for all the immigrants that self-deported, then those immigrant-employees get sick and die, who will I have left to enjoy firing?
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