Louie!
Oh y’all, he’s running for Texas Attorney General due to his firm grasp on law and reality.
Bringing you up to date on this Disney Land Adventure, our current AG in Texas is an indicted felon who has been successful in postponing his trial since July of 2015 on three counts of security fraud. He’s a big buddy of Donald Trump. Already in the race are George P Bush (Jeb’s son) and a very popular Republican Supreme Court Justice Eva Guzman.
So why is Louie running?
Okay, Madam Swami Juanita looks into her rhinestone bedazzled crystal ball and gives it her damn best: I cannot find anywhere online an answer if he can run for both a federal and a state office at the same time in Texas. Thanks to Lyndon Johnson, you can run for both Vice President and senate for the same time in Texas, but I can’t seems to find a definitive answer in this case. Glen says yes but I dunno, so I am checking it out.
But, the biggest take away on this is that Louie is broke – both personally and professionally. Well, and intellectually and morally. PACs don’t give him money because nobody knows where his head will be on a given day. His constituency is dirt poor so they don’t give him money, just prayers.
But, here ya go, Cocomo –
Gohmert announced earlier this month that he would join the GOP lineup against Paxton if he could raise $1 million in 10 days. The 10th day was Friday. Gohmert said in an announcement video that he has “reached our initial goal of raising $1 million in order to start a run for” attorney general, though he did not confirm whether he was able to collect it in 10 days.
Gohmert needs money for lawyers to cover his Donald Trump shenanigans. Nobody is going to give money to a goofball in a safe Republican district who has accomplished exactly zero in his years in congress. So, running for a statewide race where he can attack the scientific basis for … well, everything and that includes s-e-x, Louie can part crazy people from their money, which is genius.
December 13th is the filing deadline in Texas, so don’t place any bets on what Louie will do until then. If he can raise enough money by then, he’ll be back to running for congress.
He’s a whore, y’all.
I knew you would know the answer! Running for AG just didn’t make any sense to me; but then, I’m not tuned into all the nuances down there. I don’t have Alfredo on my speed-dial like you do, either.
This makes so much sense, I’ll bet the rent that you are right.
1Glancing at the FEC filing figures provided by Alfredo over the years, Louie is the most dead broke Congress varmint that Koch money evuh bought. It was like poor Louie was being thrown bare bones and no sauce.
2“He’s a whore, y’all.”
Yep.
3And he’s probably got The Worst Little Louie In Texas.
Loonie Louie is a pretty low-end congresscritter, his 2020 FEC numbers are pathetic; and he has muy poco dinero a mano.
Louie actually spent more than he took in for the 2020 two-year cycle [~$27K], ending up with just $33K on hand [so he started with about $28K].
From the link you can get to the donor details.
Loopy had almost all his donations come from individuals [truly sorry-ass ones, odd that his BFF Donnei JT didn’t chip in a few rubles…], so he’s not one of the Rethuglikan ‘in-crowd’ members with PACs greasing his sweaty palms.
You could almost feel sorry for good ol’ Loopy…/s…[bwahahaha..].
Of course there may be other funds that I didn’t look at here:
https://www.fec.gov/data/candidate/H4TX04039/?cycle=2020
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Federal Election Commission | United States of America
GOHMERT, LOUIS B. MR. JR.
CANDIDATE FOR HOUSE
TEXAS – 01
ID: H4TX04039
REPUBLICAN PARTY
LOUIE GOHMERT FOR CONGRESS COMMITTEE (C00386532)
Coverage dates: 01/01/2019 to 12/31/2020
=== TOTAL RECEIPTS $564,861.28
TOTAL CONTRIBUTIONS $555,714.54
Total individual contributions $467,368.11
Itemized individual contributions $396,180.50
Unitemized individual contributions $71,187.61
Party committee contributions $0.00
Other committee contributions $88,346.43
Candidate contributions $0.00
TRANSFERS FROM OTHER AUTHORIZED COMMITTEES $0.00
TOTAL LOANS RECEIVED $0.00
Loans made by candidate $0.00
Other loans $0.00
OFFSETS TO OPERATING EXPENDITURES $9,146.74
OTHER RECEIPTS $0.00
=== TOTAL DISBURSEMENTS $592,388.13
OPERATING EXPENDITURES $589,588.13
TRANSFERS TO OTHER AUTHORIZED COMMITTEES $0.00
TOTAL CONTRIBUTION REFUNDS $2,800.00
Individual refunds $2,800.00
Political party refunds $0.00
Other committee refunds $0.00
TOTAL LOAN REPAYMENTS $0.00
Candidate loan repayments $0.00
Other loan repayments $0.00
OTHER DISBURSEMENTS $0.00
=== ENDING CASH ON HAND $33,661.57
4DEBTS/LOANS OWED TO COMMITTEE $0.00
DEBTS/LOANS OWED BY COMMITTEE $0.00
Jane & PKM @2, “It was like poor Louie was being thrown bare bones and no sauce.”
Yep, Ol’ Loopy Louie is one sorry-ass junkyard dog, those bones he gets tossed once in a while have even already been gnawed on by other mangy low-end Rethugs first.
5I seem to remember Paul Ryan running for VP and Congress at the same time. But then Wisconsin is the new Texas.
6Gooey goober gohmert is better at attracting flys and maggots than moolah. Could Texas be any worse off no matter what he runs for and wins?
7Gee, Louie really is lame if he hasn’t figured out by now how to monetize crazy. He sure has plenty of examples in his own party to mimic. I guess he really is dumb — not an act — even though he went to colletch and all.
8It’s hard to believe that Gohmert was elected by folks from the same neck of the woods (literally) that elected Sam Rayburn. I know they cook a lot of meth in the piney woods, but they must be using it instead of selling it!
9I know some Ladies and Gentlemen of the Evening who wouldn’t allow Louis to change their chamberpots or spittoons. Calling him a whore is waay above his actual pay grade and skill level.
10It’s a pretty safe bet that, no matter what job Looie runs for, he’ll do a perfect job at it.
100% failure is perfect, right?
11Louie might be bean dip dumb, as are his Fox News and Republican Jebus addled voters, but the crooks who have been running Texas for far too long are not. He didn’t decide to run, they decided that since Paxton has been attracting too much attention from the law, they will soon need another witless cipher in the job who will do what he’s told. I think it likely Louie has to be told what to do to get out of bed in the morning.
He has attracted attention in his Congressional career, the kind that would qualify him for AG these days.
12I sorta thought Louie couldn’t do two things at once.
Anyone have a clue how the race splits the party faithful?
13Ballotpedia says the primary already included Ken Paxton, George P. Bush, Eva Guzman, and Matt Krause. Seems like there could be enough in the mix to confuse nearly everyone.
Marjorie Taylor Greene has introduced a bill to give Kyle Rittenhouse a Congressional Gold Medal. Nobody is co-sponsoring so far, but don’t be surprised if Louie jumps onboard.
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