I have a neighbor who wears his MAGA hat 24/7.  I think he sleeps and showers in the damn thing.  Every day when he takes a walk he slows down in front of my house and stops to face my front window just because he knows it pisses me off.

I am often moved to open the front door and sass him.  Like the time I asked him to please clean up his dog’s poop.  “I don’t own a dog,” he hollered back. “Oh dear Lord,” the devil forced me to reply, “you’re crapping in my front yard?” I asked in faux horror.

Or the time I yelled at him, “Honey, you have a defective hat.  It ain’t keeping your brains from falling out.”

Sometimes I stay up at night thinking of things to say to him.

Yesterday I announced from my front steps, “Sweetie, thank you for becoming living proof that a side effect of Ivermectin is cow butt.” I’m really a mean person.

Do you think he’ll be able to read this from the sidewalk?  If so, I’m going to order it.