Deep in Baton Rouge, Pastor Tony Spell of the Life Tabernacle Church, has treaded softly among the sassafrass and found his spiritual calling: to get everybody killed in the name of Jesus.

Yesterday he said that “if his church members die from coronavirus, they’ve done so in the name of religious freedom.” Out loud. He did.

Speaking to TMZ, Spell said that true Christians would be willing to die from coronavirus, adding that those who “prefer tyranny over freedom do not deserve freedom.”

Oh, but he wasn’t finished yet.

“The bible teaches us to be absent from our bodies so we can be present with the Lord,” Spell said. “So like any revolutionary, or like any zealot, or like any pure religious person, death looks to them like a welcomed friend.”

Also like any drunk, member of alQaeda, or insane person, but we don’t want them to have machine guns. The church people can cough on the produce section of farmer’s market and wipeout a zip code.

Now, if they’ll just leave the children outside and lock themselves inside the church together until this is over, that’ll be just fine with me.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.