Alex Jones Is Back And He’s Uncovered Our Plans
Drooling madman Alex Jones of “Infowars” has sent out word to his loons—seriously—that liberals are planning to start “the Second Civil War” on July 4.
It is worth signing up for a Twitter account and searching “SecondCivilWarLetters“, many brilliant, all sprouted magically since last night.
I wish you luck getting your division ready to storm the local Hobby Lobby and force the staff to make gay crafts.
Thanks to Kary for the heads up.
@JJ
You had me at “drooling madman”.
1(facepalm) GAAAAH!
2Ooo. Are we going to do potluck dinners? What about lawn chairs? Do we have to bring our own, or is the DNC providing them?
3The DNC is bringing lattes only. I’m trying my best to round up some sprouts (and maybe a case of Sauvignon Blanc)….and as much Camembert as we can scrounge…..but it’s tough south of the Mason Dixon to find any of our stuff.
4I can’t get there unless someone puts in chargers for my Tesla.
5JJ. Remember when you said “Trump is dumb you can pull a slow one on him”?
6Idiots that believe anything AJ says make that look intelligent.
Left out “so” between is and dumb.
7I have a hunch that AJ has seen his hay day and kissed it good bye. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if he left and ended up broadcasting from a low range station in the rain forest of Brazil.
8Can we meet across the street from Westboro Baptist Church?
9That way, we can pelt them with grapes and spit watermelon seeds. I’ll paint my car rainbow and blast Elton John and Ricky
Martin music. In honor of the previous Jade Helm nutcase, we should all wear camouflage and Chinese hats.
When it gets dark, we can all sing “We Shall Overcome” and “All We need Is Love” around the campfire. That ought to hit ’em where it hurts.
Second Civil War?
10Alex Jones must have added InfoWars Hardtack to his growing list of self labeled products, and needed a way to segue into advertising the stuff.
“I wish you luck getting your division ready to storm the local Hobby Lobby and force the staff to make gay crafts.”
“I said RAINBOWS and UNICORNS, Bubba! And I want to see a lot more GLITTER out of you, do you hear me? Or do you want to hear ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ AGAIN?”
11Darn, that’s tomorrow, and I’ve been meaning to get bullets for my ’38 for the last eight years. Guess I’ll have to sit this one out, but I’ll join you (all) for Sauvignon Blanc and Camembert on the sidelines.
12Tomorrow? That’s not even enough time to organize all the mass forced same-sex weddings!
When this doesn’t happen it will be like one of those Rapture deals — the believers will just assume old Alex got his dates wrong and go right on believing.
13Isn’t war inherently lacking in civility?
On a side note, which contractor has the baked brie supply contract? We need to make sure they source milk from non-GMO, grass fed sources.
14Hippie Snowflake Libtards! Tofu dogs at dawn flinging mustard at forty paces! Be there!
15A rancid cheese plate with assorted insults and jeers hurled on the side would be best.
16Burnt toast and a rotten egg?
17I’m bringing craft beers, but not lawn darts. Some one could get hurt.
18I say we all join hands and sing “Kumbayah.”
I worry for our brave troops. They’ve posted so many #secondcivilwarletters I’m sure their Iphone batteries are below 10%. I pray they find an outlet when they storm the Waffle House, although there is no avocado toast or soy lattes there so their suffering will be intense. It is to weep. Courage.
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