Script Preview From New TV Series: “How to Separate A Sucker From $1 Million Without Technically Taking a Bribe”
Characters in order of appearance:
Bob Murray – chief executive officer of Murray Energy Corporation, a mining corporation based in St. Clairsville, Ohio. He is one of the largest independent operators of coal mines in the United States.
Donald Trump – supposed president.
Rick Perry – supposed college graduate.
FERC – Federal Energy Regulatory Commission
Action:
Bob Murray: Mr. President, here’s my four-page action plan to have American consumers subsidize my failing company by having the FERC require utilities to buy a three month supply of coal under the guise of ensuring the reliability of the electric grid.
Trump: Why thank you Bob. You should give this to DOE Secretary Rick Perry. He’s an expert on the electric grid because they have electricity in the Governor’s Mansion in Texas. Give him a call – I’ll encourage him to take the meeting with you.
March 29, 2017 – Bob Murray meets with DOE Secretary Rick Perry.
Bob Murray: Mr. President it’s been months since I met with Secretary Perry and he hasn’t acted on my four-page action plan.
Trump: These things take time Bob. Why don’t you try contacting some outside groups that are trying to build public support for the coal industry? Some of my former campaign staffers are working with a group called America First Action.
Bob Murray: Thanks Mr. President, I’ll call them.
August 8th, 2017 – MURRAY ENERGY CORPORATION donates $1,000,000.00 to America First Action
September 29, 2017 – DOE Secretary Rick Perry submits Murray’s action plan to FERC.
January 8, 2018 – FERC unanimously rejects Perry’s action plan.
The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission on Monday unanimously rejected a proposal by Energy Secretary Rick Perry that would have propped up nuclear and coal power plants struggling in competitive electricity markets.
The independent five-member commission includes four people appointed by President Trump, three of them Republicans. Its decision is binding.
Trump: What? All I did was ask Perry to take a meeting with Murray. I never pressured him to do anything about it and I never pressured the FERC to approve it either. Don McGahn says that’s not a bribe after McDonnell v. United States. I love Donny – he’s my new Roy Cohen!
Trump to FERC appointees: Can you believe that schmuck!?!? He actually thought we’d do it! What an idiot! A million bucks! I used to have to go all the way to fucking Batumi to endorse a fake Trump Tower project to make a million bucks.
Yeah, this presidency thing is a great scam – much easier than selling condos to Russian oligarchs for twice the fair market value so they can get their money out of Russia.
Heh, heh, heh.
Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen.
The one image I could find of ole Bob shows me that he bears a striking resemblance to Dr Evil, right down to the idiotic ringed pinkie stuck in the corner of his idiot mouth.
GOOD GAWD WTF’S WRONG WITH SNACILBUPER??????????
1Uh oh….you used the “F” word. Momma isn’t going to like that. But I did. Great post, JJ.
2And for your further knowledge aboot snacilbupeR idiot Bob Murray…
“Coal baron Bob Murray, who Dave Weigel once called “history’s greatest monster” in a Slate headline for laying off 156 people the day after Barack Obama was re-elected and blaming it on the election,”
http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2012/11/09/robert_murray_is_history_s_greatest_monster.html
3Alfredo deserves a raise.
4That’s a great first episode! The chump gets screwed out of a million bucks!
I look forward to the season ending cliff hanger, when the original chump turns the tables, and helps prosecutors go after the other chumps with inside info revealed by a cast of fresh characters yet to be revealed in season 2.
Will it include strip mining or strip clubs? Stay tuned!
5Rick, that was right on! The ijits in the White House just never catch on, do they? All of a sudden there are prosecutors waving papers in front of their noses with their names on them and they wonder how everything got to be so bad! Not once do they ever look at themselves and admit they “own it”. Hey, only grown ups do that!
6Nailed it!
7