Florida: IQ Battleground
Saturday morning is a tough time to be driving on Interstate 4 from Volusia County to Lake Mary. The terrorist ain’t got nothing on Bubba and Big Hank and Snotty Bob.
Erick Salazar, tooting down the road with his 9 year old son in the car, got peeved at some dude driving a truck. As any normal citizen of Florida would do, he got his paintball gun and fired “several shots” at the offending truck.
The guys in truck felt in danger for their lives, not even to mention how highly offended they were. So, they take turns shooting a real gun back at Salazar.
Only through the luck of the stoopid, there were no innocent bystanders harmed in the making of this highway drama. However, everybody except the 9 year old, who was too mature to get involved, went to jail.
All three men, who are all in their 20s, are being held in the Seminole County Jail on a variety of charges.
Felony Stupid.
Judging from the mugshots, their collective IQ might hit triple digits.
1Poster boys for the NRA
2OMG–I’m at a total loss for words.
3Yep. “Felony Stupid” sums them, and the incident, up nicely.
4There’s something wrong here. Florida incarcerated someone for shooting a gun at someone else? That hardly seems possible.
5hummpf! seems like stand your ground ought’a apply here. no harm no foul. everyone here was obviously right.
6So…the splash of paint on the rear window didn’t convince the guys in front that it was a paintball gun? (If it broke the window I retract my snide comment. Or if the guy missed and all they saw was a gun sticking out of the car.)
But yeah, felony stupid.
7A splash of paint on the truck? Generally with this mind set, their trucks are their most valuable and precious possessions.
8Except for their guns, of course.
9Three more contenders for meretricious performance awards in the Florida Skittles War. It’s a three way tie for “if looks could proclaim one’s IQ.” The “stupid acts” award goes to Erick the Dumb for firing the first shot. Just Dumb and Not So Sterling share second place for “escalating st00pid.”
10OMG!!! It’s gotta be the heat, the humidity, the absolutely boring horizon of flat with scrubby shrubs and moss over just about everything else that drives these dear boys to such . . . a hobby???
11Not for nothing but it’s freaking dangerous driving anywhere in Florida. The olds and the youngs are by far the worst drivers except for my two sisters anyway. Turn signals are apparently too difficult to operate, yellow lights mean go faster and driving on I-79-4 95 etc. can be a horrifying nightmare.
Now when the snowbirds start flying down is where you get stuck behind some newbie that doesn’t how to get around. It’s amazing I’ve survived. LOL
12Welllll that damn Flo-riduh lege should take a lesson from the oh so intelligent and perceptive Texas lege and bump those silly ole speed limits on these interstates up to 85 like G*d always intended. P-shaw indeed!
13Ok, going from right to left, what these three good ole boys seem to be thinking: 1. (ok, maybe that wasn’t such a hot idear) 2. ( ugghhh…..What?) 3. (Prison face, prison face, prison face) Turn to the right!
14wallyinfl, someone told me that the worst thing about driving in Florida is the little bitty old people in huge cars, so that the only part of them you see coming at you is fingers on the steering wheel.
15People still ask, “So why did you leave Florida?”
I’ll save this to show them.*
*Believe me, folks, this is not an isolated incident of stupid.
16Twenty unhappy years in Florida. There is nothing there.
The teens call the teeny old ladies “Q-tips” because that what they look like from behind.
If you blow your horn, sometimes they slam on the brakes reflexively…
17IQ Battleground? From the history and mugshots, clearly none of them has any ammo, or someone mighta got hurt.
18“There’s something wrong here. Florida incarcerated someone for shooting a gun at someone else? That hardly seems possible.”
@Alan – They weren’t standing their ground; they were rolling on it.
19Ordinarily I’m against the Florida law that prohibits ex-felons from voting. I’d make an exception in this case, though. These guys are too stupid to be allowed anywhere near a ballot.
Of course, they’re still allowed to have guns. Because freedom. And because Florida.
20Florida Man! At it again. The logical conclusion of decades of Republican edumacation.
21Drat! Damn! I live within a stone’s throw of that, and I missed all the fun!
22Dear 20: At least so far, we’ve avoided open carry.
23Did anyone run a blood alcohol test on them? Mr. Salazar looks three sheets to the wind.
24Half the age and twice the IQ.
It’s a sign of the end times, I tell ya.
Except, I suspect each vehicle had a Trump sticker on it. Hillary’s lock on Florida looks better by the day.
25Cute, they bring a paintball gun to a (real) gunfight.
26This, thus right here – it makes my head hurt.
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