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Y’all, Juanita hates to be the one to tell you, but Tom DeLay is the celebrity “expert” on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? this week.  Nice timing, huh?

As if seeing Tom DeLay shake his butt on Dancing With the Stars wasn’t hard enough on America, the former House Majority Leader will continue his budding reality show career on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. DeLay will appear as the “expert” lifeline, following in the footsteps of Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O’Brien, the New York Post reports. The gig began yesterday and continues the rest of the week.

“I suspect that maybe a good part of what DeLay is doing is so that potential jurors might see that he’s not the hard-hearted guy that he presented himself as when he was majority leader, and that he has a soft and fuzzy side to him,” says a former federal prosecutor.

“Ya think?”  Juanita asks.  “Not the master manipulator!  Not Tom.  He wouldn’t do that.”

“Tom DeLay is about as soft and fuzzy as a ratttlesnake,” she warns.  “The minute this trial is over, he’ll go back to stepping on kittens and cavorting in hot tubs.  If I say a chicken can give milk, you better go fetch a pail and a stool and I say that Mr. Nice Tom is just show biz.”