Retired People and Ammo
The Texas Legislature is the birthplace of bad ideas and that’s a provable fact.
The latest comes from Republican State Representative Morgan Meyer of Dallas.
It goes like this. You know that sweet little retired librarian who helps you vote at election time? But sometimes it’s a grouchy old man with his belt up under his armpits and he walks like his shoe laces are tied together?
Yeah, well, in voting locations held in schools HB3972 would required those people to sit down with the high school principal two weeks before voting day to come up with “a security plan for the building.” Additionally, that plan will be “filed electronically with the secretary of state at least 14 days before the first day of voting.”
First off, it’s kinda obvious that election judges are not security experts. The little old lady would require everyone to sign a promise to behave before they enter the building and the crotchety old man would have a plan with drones, an ammo depot, and a bottle of Viagra.
Second off, who is going to pay for this? Election judges expect to be compensated for their time. Hell, it would be cheaper to fly John Kerry around the state all day to negotiate settlements at any hot spots.
Third off, it’s real nice of you to give the bad guys two weeks to look over the security plans but I’m not real sure that nice is what you’re trying to accomplish here. If you file something with the secretary of state, it becomes public record.
Fourth off, Mr. Meyer, you wrote this bill on the back of a napkin at a three martini lunch, didn’t you? The old codger was trying to get you to come up with a plan to get him a drone, wasn’t he?
See, I know how the lege works.
Thanks to Monty for the heads up.
“Security plan for the building” = “something to scare the daylights out of people of color that we all know are homosexual communist muslim lovers”
1Wouldn’t I just sell my soul to have you,JJ,and Molly Ivins eviscerate these dumb clucks as a tag team?
2As you know, I lobby on election bills for the Texas Democratic Party. We’ve worked very hard to kumbaya with the Texas Republican Party on a bunch of bills. Things that improve the administration of elections and assist voters get their votes counted. Of course, those bills are dying for lack of getting hearings.
3Why no hearing? Because we have to write security plans for terrorist invasions or attacks on voters by kindergarten kids. I don’t even know where to start when I testify on this one.
The only thing good about this bill is that it’s sponsored by a freshman, so it’s going nowhere. Even though he’s cute.
Those King Street idiots in Houston would LOVE this!
4I am a retired teacher. Nowadays ever person who visits elementary schools must show id and have it checked with a criminal database – unless you are there to vote. Most elementary schools don’t have the personnel to prevent adults who are voting from traveling from the polling area to classrooms. It is a little scary to think anyone with a voter registration card could encounter a little kid in the hall. This bill might not be the right answer, but someone needs to be asking the question of how we protect our kids.
5For years, my voting place was the neighborhood elementary school cafeteria. People could walk to vote. I cannot recall that there was ever a “security situation”. Not once in 10 or so years. It was easy peasy voting…After Republicans got to be “in charge” of such things in my county. The polling place was moved to the Middle School… out of the neighborhood. Not close enough to walk to. Harder to vote… but not too bad. Accessible by bus. Obviously, it was still too easy.
So… soon it was once again moved…. by a Republican County Court to an area park. Have to drive to vote. I don’t know how you balance the “security” of kids in school with the right of adults to vote to chose the people they do, or do not want to represent them in government. Even a park will have young children. I do know from what I’ve witnessed over the years, with all the restrictions attached to voting in Texas…. Voting should not be made any more difficult than it already is.
Thanks Mr. Maxey… for all you do.
6Gaydar flashing red. Nothing wrong with that, but I bet this guy isn’t honest about it.
7Do not understand. Schools here where I live are totally closed on election day. No classes at all. Only voting in the gym or the cafeteria. Lots and lots of locked doors elsewhere. Is this guy writing fiction?
8I don’t care what his orientation is, I agree with Glen! a little shy between the ears for my tastes though…
9Is that only for public schools? I vote at the elementary school at the top of my street (and I mean “top” because it’s a steep uphill climb from my house! But must tell you that my church is the voting site for the “eclectic” neighborhood around it, and we have a pre-K on site (Christian, although we’re Methodist & are considered suspect by many RWNJs) and there is an elementary school across the street that the church has adopted. I’m on the board of the pre-K and would be interested if we’ll have to adopt a security plan. I’ll have to check if that bill sees a hearing. Getting pretty late in the session.
10Oh, I see that the bill is set for a hearing before Elections commttee next Monday. And my rep, Celia Israel, is on that committee! Worked on her election last year. May just show up. Hope to see you there, Glen. Met you at Celia’s house while on phone duty.
11JJ – Why not draw up a nice, flexible plan that assumes all those sweet old folks have the military hardware of a 3rd world US client and the mad killer skillz of the best Hollywood action stars and let the various districts submit it as required. As the likely hood of such a plan being needed is 0, there is no need for the plan to be based in reality. With a little modification, every school that needed one could have one that would do their local GOP proud. Sort of like buying “clean pee” for a drug test.
12Getting enough folks to man the polls (at minimum wage for a 13 hour day, no overtime pay) is damn difficult now. Elections appear a few times a year like Brigadoon, and this nimrod expects the “staff” to behave like full time employees. Before he writes another silly requirement, I hope he will serve at some election as a clerk.
13There are a BUNCH of other serious bills that deal with security issues of kids at school and the bad people who come to vote in elections.
Pretty simple. Have a teacher work day on election day. Kids are happy, momma is happy, voters are happy, and the election judge isn’t trying to be a police officer, traffic cop, and disaster coordinator.
14The best security plan for voting sites would be to keep Republican hands off of voting laws.
15Glen Maxey …”The only thing good about this bill is that it’s sponsored by a freshman, so it’s going nowhere.” If only that were so, but let’s not forget the pencil necked dweeb Tom Cotton as a freshman managed to almost destroy the Iran deal. Sometimes these sneaky little shmucks can really foul things up.
16Hold all voting on weekends (Saturdays). No school, no security worries.
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