Rick Perry has to study-up to be dumb.

I swear on all that is holy that he’s been taking America-lessons for the past two years so he can run for President and be two IQ points smarter than Sarah Palin.

It didn’t work.

Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) is not backing away from a conspiracy theory he recently floated about the Obama administration somehow coordinating the surge of immigrants coming over the border for some unknown reason.

Perry recently suggested on Fox News that the Obama administration might be “in on this somehow” and helping move immigrants over the border. Asked about that statement on Sunday, Perry didn’t back away.

What?  President Obama is going to use refugees from a Central America drug war to herd us all into underground bunker reeducation camps ruled by the New World Order in Roswell, New Mexico, with Janet Reno’s, the woman who shot Kennedy,  black helicopters hovering overhead?

Well, crap Rick, everybody knows that.  Just go ahead and say it.

And by the way, please make Rick quit torturing the English language.  In an attempt not to end a sentence with a preposition, we get this …

I have to believe that when you do not respond in any way, that you are either inept, or you have some ulterior motive of which you are functioning from,” Perry said on ABC’s “This Week” on Sunday.

Nice try, Dumbo, but you could have ended the sentence at the word “motive.”

I’ll give somebody fifty dollars cash American money to go convince him that he’s already been President and now it’s time to go to the ranch and paint pictures of himself in the bathtub.

I mean it.