I Think We Found The Re-Education Center the Republicans Keep Talking About
Ole Bubba and I went out to Enchanted Gardens this weekend just because it’s a wonderful place to go. It’s pretty easy to find. You go to the end of the earth and turn left. Honey, this place is so far out in the country that they don’t get the Today Show until tomorrow.
We decided to drive around because there’s a golf course close by and we both own some golf clubs. Driving along a clearly marked dead end road that looked kinda interesting, we stumbled upon Louie Gohmert’s worst nightmare.
Yeah, right. I know an reeducation center when I see one. This sucker had high fencing for about half a mile and then the road dead ended into this gate.
And it looks like they’ve already started the building to put all the confiscated guns in.
There were more teevee cameras than a presidential press conference and the gate was secure. Real secure. Four padlocks secure.
Hell, even Louie Gohmert and his secret powers of damn scary cannot get through 4 padlocks.
Now I’m not saying that you should tell Louie of Steve Stockman about this just to watch them go ape crap, but Lord knows they would if they saw it.
You sure that’s not Louies house?
1There’s a place like that north of us, in Beltsville MD, except it has a guardhouse. It’s a Secret Service training area, and also where Dubya used to go “mountain biking.” Having biked past and around the place, I can tell you there ain’t no mountains in Beltsville. Not even close.
We also have the USDA’s Beltsville Agricultural Research Center, NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, and US Fish & Wildlife’s Patuxent Research Refuge. They keep the north end of Prince George’s County from being covered with townhouses and strip malls, and they’re nice places to bike if you don’t have Secret Service people surrounding you.
2Oh NOES! I knew that somebody would eventually find one a those death camps if everybody just kept looking instead of pointing to stuff on the Internets.
Oh, wait.
3What in the world are they researching? Giant mosquitoes? Humongous mushrooms? Trees that reach out and grab you when you’re not looking?
4Louis needs not fear re-education. It didn’t work the first time.
5I don’t know. Kinda looks like you could get through that gate easily enough. Just stoop down, take one step & your in. Or a bolt cutter would shred those four locks in a minute. But just in case those surveillance cameras are working Louie, at the very least I’d wear a hoodie, or better yet a ski mask. And, park your car out of range of those darn government spy cameras.
6What did Molly Ivins call Texas? The National Experiment In Bad Government? That look like that’s it. It’s not the Ni**erhead Ranch, is it?
7My guess on the four padlocks is that it’s sort of like a lock-out-tag-out (LOTO) device for working on powered equipment: each one of four people has a key to their lock, so all four people need to be there to unlock the gate.
As for what’s behind Door #3 – well, it’s definitely a location of some type. Plus, it hasn’t been disclosed to anyone. Perhaps it’s Dick Cheney’s “undisclosed location”?
8Wait …it’s a Government facility and Private Property? Something smells. Did Google maps block the satellite view?
9Hmmmmm. The land around there is probably very good for bird hunting. Maybe its kept in reserve as a back-up for vice presidents who aren’t invited back to the private industry bird hunting preserves cuz they’re such lousy damn shots.
10I worked on a ranch in South Texas that had eight locks on the gate. Any one lock would open the gate. Access was given to Power line workers, gas line workers, secret radar workers, state game wardens, etc.
11It doesn’t look quite as intimidating as the CIA site up around Sperryville, VA but it has that lean, mean glow, doesn’t it? Maybe you should alert ‘ol Louie.
12MCPO Ret is right. That looks like a set of linked locks where any lock is either a lock or a chain link depending on if someone is opening the one they have access to.
13Yes! Let’s take Louie on a road trip! Maybe Steve Stockman and Ted Cruz can join us. We can discuss black helicopters, gun confiscation and teh gay agenda on the way.
If only…
14Da Da Da Daa, Da Da Da Daa,
Y’all clearly entered “The Louie Zone”, glad you made it back. (or maybe it is ‘The Loopy Zone?)
(we’ll have to keep an eye on JJ and SO for a while now; no telling when the effects of TLZ wear off, or re-present, they’re ‘sleepers’ now?)
On the other hand (my curiosity is itching), what is that place?
15I once worked (as a tech contractor long ago) at the old gubmint USDA plant research facility behind TSC/UT-Brownsville (next to the levee), and that was like time traveling back to the ’30’s-40’s, and kinda spooky too. A most interesting place.
No telling what kind of top-secret citrus and avocado weapons were being tested, yum.