Please allow me to introduce you to Jonathan Allen Frost, a 24 year old who lives just a few miles from where I live.  Jonathan is in a mess of trouble.

A Katy man was sentenced to spend five years in federal prison Friday over his role in a white supremacist plot to attack U.S. power grids.

In 2019, Jonathan Allen Frost, 24, planned an attack and recruited, trained and equipped other men with a gun and a “suicide necklace” containing fentanyl as part of the plot, the Justice Department said.

Jonathan is not your typical trailer trash insurrectionist. Jonathan lives in a house on a golf course currently valued at between $1.5 – $1.8 million.  I highly suspect it’s his parent’s house because two other people in their 60s are registered to vote at that address.

The parents have voted in every election and every Republican primary since they moved into the house 15 years ago.

Jonathan is not that consistent in voting as his parents.  But he votes presidential years and even voted in the 2022 Republican primary.

Under sentencing guidelines he could have gotten 15 years but he reached an agreement of five years, which means he’s white and lives in a ritzy house.

I think we should have let him know that he doesn’t have to mess with the power grid in Texas or fret over taking it down. The Governor does that for us in Texas. I do think that’s why his parents vote Republican.

It was only a matter of time. We have apps for everything now. It was only a matter of time before some enterprising software designer would develop an app for racists and bigots. I had thought it would be an extension onto Google Maps known as the “whitest route” but sadly I was mistaken. As it turns out, The newest app for the bigoted American is called “Woke Alerts“.

Obviously, this story is hilarious on a lot of levels, but increasingly serious on a couple as well. When you read multiple descriptions of this particular service it becomes increasingly obvious what anti-woke really means. The terms racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic have never been palatable in polite society. So, let’s co-opt the term woke to mean something it really doesn’t mean so we can somehow slide in racism, chauvinism, and bigotry of all stripes under the dark of night and couch it as anti-woke and not what it really is.

The second truth is that Consumers’ Research’s business model becomes very apparent when you go to their actual website. It cost no money to get these alerts but obviously no one is doing this out of the kindness of their own heart. They are monetizing this in some way. In this case, they can sell all of these phone numbers and email addresses to conservative candidates, PACs, and fund raising groups because they know they have found their target audience.

As someone on Facebook pointed out, this service would be great if you could specifically put in a brand name and get a wokeness rating. Obviously, it doesn’t work that way. In this case, they send you a message every time a company has “gone woke.” I’m sure, it is only a matter of time before an adjoining message is attached, “and hey, would you like to give five bucks to Gene “Knuckledragger” Smith?” So, we ruin your favorite brand for you and get you good and pissed and then we turn the screws to you. “Budweiser and Coors have gone woke leaving you a choice between the evil imports, frilly microbrews, and Keystone Light. We remind you that Lauren Boebert is fighting against all of the evil urinators in the nation’s capital. Please send her five bucks or that woke homeless guy could pee on you.”

TFG has another 2024 challenger, this time from the Left Coast. Conservative radio commentator Larry Elder has just announced that he intends to challenge “his coupness” for the top spot on the GOP ticket next year.

Here on that coast, we are very familiar with Larry Elder, who is an unknown east of Lake Tahoe.

Elder ran in a field of 42 against California Governor Gavin Newsom when a gubernatorial recall was held in 2021 during Newsom’s first term. Elder came out on top of the vast field of challengers in that election, only to have the win canceled out by another vote that failed to oust Governor Newsom (by 23%).

Elder, a former enthusiastic TFG Republican, follows Asa Hutchison, Nikki Haley (both of whom were a tad more successful in their Governor races), Tulsi Gabbard, and Vivek “Someone’s-Gotta-Be-Last” Ramaswamy in declaring for our country’s highest office.

It was his support for TFG and his anti-choice stance that endeared his 3.5 million voters to him in 2021.

Millions of voters.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme on occasion. You see, this is nearly in reverse of what happened with Nixon in 1960-1962. In 1960, Richard Nixon, although losing to JFK nationally, actually won California’s electoral votes (narrowly, by less than 1%). So in 1962, with victory in the air, Nixon ran for California’s governor against a well-liked Edmund G. “Pat” Brown (you know, Jerry’s dad).

And lost by 5%.

Apparently, California trusted Nixon to run the country in 1960, but went all NIMBY on him 2 years later.

But when you have voters in the millions, maybe you lose your perspective on just how many millions of voters that is.

There’s a little town named Greenville, Texas, just east of Dallas. A guy in that town by the name of Nathan Donald Pelham, was fixing to face 3 misdemeanor charges for his participation in the January 6th insurrection. And then he screwed up.

On April 12, an FBI special agent called Pelham and asked him to surrender “in a few days.” You know, it was a misdemeanor so they didn’t think they were dealing with somebody who should have been sitting in jail for a year awaiting trial. Later that same day, the local police get a request from Pelham’s father to do a welfare check on Pelham, which they do.

The damn fool fired on them when they arrived at his home. One officer was missed by inches.

Get this:

Many the Jan. 6 defendants who have pleaded guilty to the same misdemeanor charges against Pelham have been sentenced only to periods of probation.

So, the dude facing probable probation ain’t likely going to be celebrating Christmas at home – for several years.

Now comes the fun part. Right after the January insurrection …

Authorities said that after they obtained a search warrant, they found text messages on Pelham’s phone that suggested he entered the Capitol, according to court documents.

“If you have a video of being inside, don’t post it,” his wife is alleged to have written a day after the riot. “I know I am smart honey,” Pelham replied, according to court documents.

Obviously not all that smart.

It’s like they get up every morning and have to shoot some damn thing.

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Take a deep breath.

No, no, it’s real.  Trump’s lawyer says he really wants to come to his trial – it’s a civil case so he’s not required to attend unless he’s subpoenaed – but, you know … it’s a hassle.

Former President Donald J. Trump wants to come to a Manhattan trial over allegations he raped a woman nearly 30 years ago, but he may stay away to spare New Yorkers the traffic jams, blocked streets and high security that would inevitably accompany him, his lawyer said on Wednesday.

To make his point about the hassle, Trump cited the ungodly mess when he was arraigned. But, when you think about it that’s Trump’s current profession – making an ungodly mess. I mean, he’s experienced at it and does it quite well.

Here’s the guy waddling all over the country making messes including his speaking to the NRA, attending the Ultimate Fighting Championship, his rallies, a deposition he gave at the New York attorney general’s office, oh damn, the messes he makes. He adores making messes so who does he think he’s fooling?