I don’t want my friends in Texas to think they are completely alone in CRAZZZY. It’s all a matter of degree. The CRAZZZY is everywhere.

The rumors I’d been hearing since the weekend were confirmed by a reliable source. Good Old (Boy) Klickitat County even made the OPB radio news broadcast. I think I’ve mentioned our Constitutional Sheriff, Bob Songer who won reelection by 150 votes. Since reelection, his undersheriff, a onetime election challenger, requested to be reassigned to detective. Songer accommodated him, then promoted the county jailer to undersheriff, creating an opening for a $94,000 a year job at the County Jail. That’s a pretty good salary by Klickitat County standards (2020 median household income $56,667). One would think there’d be lots of applicants.

Well, old Bob had trouble filling that slot so he called his good buddy Loren Culp, fellow Constitutional Sheriff, failed gubernatorial and CD4 candidate, to see if he needed a job. Culp has been hanging out in Moses Lake, about 3 hours’ drive away, since losing 2 elections. He’d had his butt handed to him running against Jay Inslee in 2018, then set his sights on Rep. Dan Newhouse in 2020, who pissed him off by voting to impeach Trump. He didn’t make it out of the Top Two Primary for that one. The Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association named Culp “Police Chief of the Decade” while running for office and doing his thing in Republic, WA (pop 1,060), way up near the Canadian border, where he grew up. Old Bob just got “Sheriff of the Year” but the politics bonded them. Both men were outspoken opponents of a gun safety law passed with overwhelming support in the WA legislature in 2018. Neither of these upstanding LEOs would enforce enhanced background checks or a raise in age from 18 to 21 for purchasing semi-automatic rifles, among other reasonable things, and were very public about their opinions.

This will be a big step up for Culp. Klickitat County (pop 23,000) and the county seat Goldendale (pop 3,500) will be like the ‘big city’ in comparison to his former digs. According to Songer, Culp’s qualifications for running the jail include that he was “not only an honorable individual, he’s a religious individual and supports the Constitution for the citizens”. Checks all of Songer’s boxes for hiring process. Won’t support gun safety laws, check. Makes racist and insensitive remarks while campaigning, check. Endorsed by TFG. Check. Ten Years of Law Enforcement experience in Republic. Check. Thinks like me. Check. Some folks surmise that Sheriff of the Year, age 77, is lining up his replacement. Ya think?

After close inspection and deep intellectual thought, I have decided that Tucker Carlson’s play-acting adoration of TFG is probably pretty much the same way hookers talk about their pimp when he ain’t around.

The Washington Post has it.

Hey, I gotta admit that it’s hard for me to think of Tucker Carlson and the word passionately in the same thought balloon.  That right there is just a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

But it wasn’t just Trump they hated. Hell Honey, they hated each other.  The whole place is just a bubbling caldron of blonde hair bleach, bought souls, and Tucker’s smoldering underwear.

If you’ve got a bit of voyeur in you, here’s a real, actual text message I got sent by my undercover agent. Click on it to enlarge it, or however your computer machine makes it bigger.

I could stay up all night reading this stuff.  I’d have to order highlighters by the carton, but it would be worth it.

Y’all, there’s more coming. I just know it.

Well, it happened, Texas Republican State Representative Bryan Slaton has filed to bill holding a vote on Texas secession from the Union.

If Slaton is successful, in our next election we will get to vote on whether or not to secede.  The last time that happened was when General Sam Houston, a goddam genuine Texas hero, resigned as Governor of Texas, a job he loved dearly, instead of becoming a traitor and leaving the United States of America as the fruitcakes all wanted to do then, too.  To this day, General Sam is known as the best Governor Texas ever had, drunk or sober.

Texas would not survive a month without the federal government. For gosh sake, Texas doesn’t even have a dependable power grid because 30 years of Republican government squandered all our oil and the money that went with it. The banks would crash within 24 hours cause nobody would trust Greg Abbott to insure our savings. First thing to go would be our social security checks, medicare, food inspection, a trade policy, and every damn military base supporting the economies of Texas cities.

I’m pretty damn sure this won’t be the last of me pitching a wall eyed snot nosed hissy fit about this.

Ted Cruz is now making me wonder if he has a metric ton of hydroxychloroquine stored in a warehouse somewhere.  We’re talking here about a guy who just won’t give up.

In January, just six weeks after the Justice Department announced a raft of fraud charges against Sam Bankman-Fried, founder and CEO of crypto exchange FTX, Sen. Ted Cruz introduced a resolution calling for businesses operating in the U.S. Capitol building to begin accepting bitcoin and other digital currency.

Yeah, he’s all big on digital currency and the only damn reason anybody can figure out why is (1) Cruz thinks he’s smarter than you and feels giddy about the possibility of cheating you out of all your money, and (2) he’s an anarchist.

Here’s my favorite part about all this —

“Most members of Congress don’t understand crypto, yet they are hell-bent on regulating an industry they know nothing about,” Cruz said in a statement, after declining an interview request.

I’ll bet you some cash American money that he denied the request for an interview because there might be questions involved and he doesn’t know diddle damn squat about crypto currency.

According to this Huffpost article, TFG had better pay attention to the CPAC straw poll conducted last week that had him winning their presidential preference poll with 62% of the vote.

According to political analyst Susan Del Percio, this is “a horrible result”.

“Sixty-two percent of CPAC in a straw poll is a horrible result for [TFG],” Del Percio said on MSNBC. “I mean, this has been dubbed TPAC. This is [TFG’s] show, and he can only get 62% of his own people.”

But unlike Meat Loaf’s (RIP) conclusion in his cult classic hit “Bat Out Of Hell”, two out of three IS bad.

TFG getting only 2 out of 3 votes at his own convention is truly a bad, bad thing.

Ask Tom DeLay.

In the Republican primary of 2006, Congresscreep Tom DeLay (R – TX 22), got just shy of 62% of the total vote in a field of 4.

So was that a mandate? Not to Tom. To Tom DeLay that was horrible news. DeLay saw this as such a poor showing that he didn’t want to go to the trouble of running against the winner of the Democratic primary (in a field of 1), former Congressman Nick Lampson.

To Tom DeLay, with this kind of result, the handwriting was on the wall and he was done.

So he dropped out of the race, and Lampson ran against a GOP-annointed write-in candidate in the craziest election that this Californian had ever seen.

So TFG needs to put his ketchup bottle down and pay attention. 62% ain’t gonna cut it. Not in TX CD-22, and not in the USA.

Two out of three may have worked for Meat Loaf, but it didn’t work for Tom DeLay, and sure as H-E double hockey sticks won’t work for TFG.

Okay, so we’ve seen this trick before.  Politician gets somebody to write a book for them that nobody is going to buy but … if they want to get it on the best seller list and make some tax free money for themselves, they simply have other people buy their books by the ton for illiterate people.

I can prove that all day long.

So right there, you’ve got over $22,000 for Ron DeSantis books in Tennessee where they will never see the glory of a bookshelf or a price tag.  These are for “event expenses” in Georgia. Yeah, Georgia.  And, Alabama. Tickets are $250 each so a free book for everybody ain’t really a big expense.

And Ron’s kickback on the books can be deposited into his campaign fund, which is tax-free, which he can then use for any damn thing he wants to.

No points for originality, Ron, but heads up on playing the game.