Cheney says the committee will provide proof that Rep. Scott Perry and other GOP members of Congress sought pardons for their actions after Jan. 6.

Oh, there is much to learn.

Those you who have been around here for ten years or so know that I had myself a charming little hair pulling spitting match with a neighbor of mine.  Yeah, a neighbor. We literally live in the same county commissioner precinct together.  Her name is Cathy Engelbrecht.

She’s a real stinker.

Back then, she used to go around my county preaching to low information voters, and old people over at the Lutheran church, about how Democrats were stealing elections. She asked them for money to fund her little “research.” That was cute to me because I was also doing research and I didn’t ask anybody for money. True, I got a local newspaper to pay me to do it. But local newspapers ain’t a well-spring of money and she lived in a fancier house than I did and drove a much fancier car.

Oh Lord, I can feel a story coming on and I do rattle, but stick with me if you have the time because it’s kinda a good story and I don’t do this but maybe two or three times a year. Okay, may six. I carry on maybe six, or it could be 7 times a year.

So, here’s Cathy giving all these “trainings” around the county. I go to one and she doesn’t recognize me because she doesn’t read newspapers.  Afterwards, I stick around to ask her about some of the math in one of her presentation slides because the percentages added up to 114%. She said I didn’t understand it. I pulled a pocket calculator out of my purse and added it right up as we stood there. She blamed “an aide” for the mistake. I giggled because she ain’t got no damn aide.

Anyway, I wrote about it in the newspaper along with some other mistakes she made. She did not take my constructive criticism well. She called my boss and said she would never interview with our newspaper again. My boss said she was delighted to hear that, and would she please put it in writing because we have a Wall of Jackasses in the reception office of people who won’t speak to us but they can’t complain about it because … you know … they ain’t speaking to us.

It was at that point that the gods of good intentions knew we needed some help with this woman. My boss gets an anonymous call that a Republican candidate for county commissioner in our county was bragging to the Republican party chairman how he voted twice the past three elections. Bragging. I love bragging. Especially from men. And double especially if it’s the candidate for county commissioner in the same precinct as me and Cathy Engelbrecht.

Boss and I knew this guy was from Pennsylvania. At the time, getting official voting records from Pennsylvania is harder than Chinese algebra. So, because I have happy ties to the Democratic Party, I called the Democratic Party office in Pennsylvania, shared a couple of Democratic passwords with the nice lady who answered the phone and within 15 minutes we had this guy’s voting record.

Sure ’nuff, both he and his wife were voting twice.  In Texas that was a third degree felony. I’m sure Pennsylvania has laws against it, too.

Of course this was followed by lengthy lame excuses from the Republican District Attorney on why he wouldn’t prosecute. Here’s one of the last times I wrote about it. Boss put it on the front page of the newspaper.

Which, finally!, brings us to today. Hi, Cathy! Been missing you, Girlfriend.

One of former President Donald Trump’s favorite election conspiracists promised to find evidence of fraud, but instead diverted more than $1 million in donations to herself, her longtime partner, and an attorney.

Ah, she’s still grifting.

Think I ought to send her a “Been Missing You” card?

John Cornyn, who tries to stay out of Republican messes and tries to play more middle of the road than a white stripe, is a sneaky little devil.

To his credit, he does put on a good show. When he first ran for office in Texas, he had to convince regular Texans to vote for a guy who worked hard not to be a Texan.  So, he decided to dress like a cowboy. Within one year, he singlehandedly put fringe on the endanger species list.  I don’t think he ever wore a jacket that didn’t have fringe on it.

Well, John’s sneaking around again. Ya know Dr. Mehmet Oz, the Republican nominee for senate in Pennsylvania? Yeah, he’s sneaky, too. He lied about holding duel citizenship with the US and Turkey. He voted in the Turkish elections in 2018 and still has holdings there.

So, Oz and Cornyn have much in common.  Who do you think would spot this?  Yeah, Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen.

There ya go. John’s gonna support this rightwing, Trump-lovin’, snake oil salesman but he’s going to try to hide it where most folks never look.  Oz is going to spend his donor money and John’s donor money, but not one damn penny of his own.

Someone is cashing in on his 15 minutes of fame and those minutes are rapidly running out. Kyle Rittenhouse was a student at Arizona State University. Well that turned out to be false. This week he came out and said he was attending Texas A&M University. Apparently, that is news to them. So, he quickly retracted and said he would be attending Blinn Junior College for a year and then transferring to the big school in 2023. Well, as you might have guessed, Rittenhouse is zero for three.

I suppose there is a clown college up the road he can try if he continues to strike out at all of these fine institutions. I really don’t want to cast aspersions upon Blinn College and any other community college. They have a lot of terrific programs that give our students a chance to gain further certifications in the career pathway they chose. For those going onto a four year degree, they offer a very affordable way to get your basics out of the way. One thing they are not is selective. Every kid that applies at our school gets in. So, a failure to get into Blinn is really saying something.

Unfortunately, the end of my high school career was robbed from me. I didn't have the time other students get to properly prepare for the future.

I look forward to attending Blinn College District this year, a feeder school for Texas A&M.

I'm excited to join Texas A&M in 2023!

— Kyle Rittenhouse (@ThisIsKyleR) June 6, 2022

Geez, you can’t help but feel sorry for the kid. I mean, he goes across state lines with a semi-automatic weapon to guard property that’s not his. He subsequently shoots three people where two of them are dead. It could have happened to anyone really. Maybe we could all pause for a moment of silence to ponder the unfortunate future of Rittenhouse’s life. If only he had the time in between a murder trial, numerous guest appearances on conservative television and radio, and whatever speaking engagements he’s had then maybe he would have gotten into at least one of those schools.

Then again, and I’m just spit balling here, maybe those schools would rather not have a kid that’s already killed two people on their campus. Oh heck, who am I kidding? He just didn’t have time to fill out all of the paperwork to get in. I’m sure that must be it. What’s really unfortunate is that no one in his life has bothered to tell him he shouldn’t be bragging about these things. None of this is something to be proud of and really none of us care where he goes. We just like to have a quick laugh at his expense. It’s the very least that he can give us after all he’s done.

Texas State Representative Bryan Slaton thinks a major problem in Texas is allowing children to see drag shows.

I gotta admit that I love drag shows. Back when we were having lotsa of problems the Catholic Priests, I announced that Ru Paul was the only man in a dress that I trusted. Now that it has turned into Southern Baptist preachers being perverts, I have decided that that the only man I trust in a loud, obnoxious suit is Captain America.

Anyway, back to drag shows. Slaton wants to ban children from attending a drag show. Now while you’re wondering if that would include clown costumes at the circus, or muppets who are male but handled by females, or powder puff football for graduating seniors, let me tell you how this came about.

A group sponsored by the LGBTQ caucus in Houston volunteered to do drag story time for children at the public library. The place was packed every Saturday morning with preschoolers and their parents.  Ben was 4 when it started and his Mean Parents (they won’t let him eat ice cream for breakfast) took him. He was charmed. He told me, “Gigi, they wore costumes! Shiny costumes! And we all had fun.”

He was 4 years old and he understood drag.

I wonder if Slaton knows that Shakespeare’s female roles were done in drag?  I think he doesn’t know. I think he’s an idiot.

You know what is annoying like a dripping kitchen sink about Republicans? They want government out of our lives except when it comes to good, clean fun.

Paul Gosar, congressman from the Great State of Befuddlement, is having himself a snot nosed hissy fit over pornography because, of all the troubles we have in America right now, pornography ranks right up in the top, oh, I dunno, bottom 250 or so.

Gosar, being a Republican generally uses the pornography debate as an excuse to talk dirty right out in public. Kinda like when he Tweeted a cartoon of himself committing acts of unspeakable violence against female members of congress and then calling it a joke.  He got censured for that one.

But what distinguished himself from his run-of-mill goofiness this time was some oratory delight. He begins by bashing “liberal courts” as do all good right-wingers.  Then he says …

“This, combined with the horrible effects it’s having on our young men and women, means that one who opposes any restrictions on porn is ignorant at best and malicious at worst… But leftists refuse to budge an inch for the sake of sexual immorality.”

He said this less than 10 days after the massacre in Uvalde.

Budge an inch? Oh dear. There are many exceptions to the first amendment: defamation, child pornography, perjury, blackmail, solicitation to commit crime, incitement to imminent lawless action, fraud, and threats – to name a few.

Now let’s name the exceptions to the Second Amendment: You cannot personally own a nuclear weapon. And that’s about it.

So, do not talk to me about budging an inch.  Talk to me about rational, even though I suspect you’re about 20 years and 50 IQ points beyond that.

And just so I make myself clear – there is a pile of stuff that is immoral that doesn’t have squat to do with mattress thrashing.