My Idea On The Filibuster
I am opposed to the silent filibuster.
I support a real filibuster.
I support a filibuster where Senators must stand there and speak. I’ll even loosen the rules – they can go to the bathroom, grab a bite to eat, and even sleep at night — just so long they have someone covering for them. You can ask your fellow filibuster supporters in the senate to cover for you up to 24 hours, but every 24 hours, you have to show up and remind us all how we got to this sheet show.
Sadly, if you’re the only one filibustering you gotta eat while talking and even talk in your sleep and look like an idiot (example: Ted Cruz). Sorry, there’s just no way around it. When you’re on your own, you’re on your own.
I think the filibuster should play constantly on CSpan and at least a continuous hour of it has to play on the nightly news channels. Let people see their senate at work.
Look, this is democracy, so if you have a good idea, you should be able to talk people into it and, by God, I wanna give you a chance to do it. If this bill will add a zero at the end of everybody’s paycheck and is a sure cure to droopy booby syndrome, you ought to have a chance to sell that idea to Americans, who will then get behind your cause. If your idea is so dumb that you have to read children’s books you’ve obviously never read before because you don’t have anything better to say, then the American people have a never-ending ability to point and laugh and they’ll use it.
Before you say my idea is too goofy, think about it. That’s the way it used to be and everything ain’t getting better just because we changed it. Look, the last filibuster was in 1964 when Senator Robert Byrd led a 14 hour filibuster against the Civil Right Act. It passed both houses on congress anyway. The good part is that Robert Byrd and Strom Thurman get to spend history as jackasses.
Keep the filibuster, just open it up so Americans can hear into that back smoked filled room where Mitch McConnell does whatever too-creepy-to-even-think-about thing he does.