Okay, so Trump held a mini-rally (That’s the new Trumpspeak for “nobody showed up”) in Minnesota and here’s the words that come tumbling out of his mouth …

“We built the greatest economy in the history of the world, and now I have to do it again… You know what that is? That’s right. That’s God testing me.”

So God sent a plague just to test Trump’s ability to glide on Obama’s economy.  You can hear him for yourself right here – it’s the second one.

Trump wonders if the coronavirus might be God's way of punishing him for being a narcissist pic.twitter.com/vuPOiQsKcW

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 17, 2020

(New fangled posting stuff.  I couldn’t take one without the other.)

One other thing.  We have got to get rid of the phrase “avoid it like the plague,” because apparently we can’t do that.

Do you have any special plans for the convention kick-off tonight?

I went to a national convention in 2012 and everybody should do it once in their lives.  It was the most exhausting week of my life.  You start with breakfast at 6:30 in the morning and you don’t get back to the hotel until well after midnight, generally 1:20 am.

Bubba and I have special dinners planned – some fancy, some hot dogs and apple pie.

What ya gonna do?

Put away your hypodermic filled with bleach – there’s a new cure for Coronavirus.  And the MyPillow guy is gonna make money off it.

I love Oleanders, but I could never have any of them in my yard because they are poisonous. My daddy was freaked about them.  Our Aunt Nelda had a big yard and instead of a fence, she had enormous oleanders.  In summer, it looked like a pink paint factory exploded in her backyard.  We’d go over for barbeques and my Daddy would spend the entire day standing between me and an oleander. My Aunt Nelda had barbeque and homemade ice cream – why the hell would I eat a plant?  Geezzz, I was a full grown teenager and every time we were at Aunt Nelda’s my Daddy would still remind me several times during the day that oleanders were poisonous.  Took all the joy outta smelling the damn things because it might just jump in your mouth if you got close enough.

After all that, Trump’s people are saying that oleanders will cure Coronavirus.  They are telling me to eat something poisonous, I guess.

The experimental botanical extract, oleandrin, was promoted to Trump during an Oval Office meeting in July. It’s embraced by Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson and MyPillow founder and CEO Mike Lindell, a big Trump backer, who recently took a financial stake in the company that develops the product.

But hell, come to think of it, this might be a simple way to get rid of herd stupidity.

Okay, this one wins and it’s only Monday.

White House chief of staff Mark Meadows told Jake Tapper on CNN’s “State of the Union”: “I’ll give you that guarantee right now. The president of the United States is not going to interfere with anybody casting their vote in a legitimate way, whether it’s the post office or anything else.”

Of course not. Trump is not going to interfere. He’s going to get Louis DeJoy and Mark Meadows to do it for him.  Meadows forgot that Trump’s self-censor mechanism got out of whack and he proudly announced that his purpose in jacking with the post office was solely to keep people from voting.

Nancy Pelosi is calling the House back from vacation to stop the unbridled and shocking attacks on the United States Postal Service.  She is asking Mitch to do the same thing.  Mitch won’t because he’s already given up on keeping the senate.

This is a super duper handy guide to voting laws in your state.  Can you track your mail ballot?  When is the registration deadline?  Can you vote by mail because you’re afraid of getting Covid?  The answer are all here.

What you’re gonna discover is that you can’t hardly vote in the South.

And here’s the dilemma.  It’s so hard to vote in my state that I have to make a check list for myself before I leave home.  Yet somehow people who follow QAnon and are so delusional that they believe that Bill and Hillary Clinton have already been executed and that Trump is going to show it on Pay Per View after he’s reelected, seem to have all this stuff figured out.  And those with an 8th grade education who think it would be cool to kill a libtard by giving them Covid just march right in, cough in my face, and vote for every damn fool on the ballot.

We get mail –

This is a spreadsheet a teacher in Kansas has started up, tracking school COVID cases.

It’d be really great if we had some national organization, say on the federal level, that could do this tracking. Maybe if Jared figures out some way to make money on it, we’d have that.

Randall

Dear Randall –

If we put one kid in each confiscated mailbox and gave each kid a secret Jared decoder ring that made bank transfers to those same good folks who brought you Stephen Miller, maybe Jared would go along?

I’m thinking …

Love and Fried Okra,
Juanita.