Archive for April, 2020

You Know It

April 23, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You can bet your best pair of pink boots that this weekend somebody is going to try to drink Lysol, somebody else will try to swallow an ultra violet light or shove it up their butt, and another will try to inject Mr. Clean Lemon Scent into their veins.

Thank you, Donald Trump.

 

Greg, Get Under The Bus!

April 23, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

 

 

I wanna tell you something.  Texas has been spared the worst of it because the big city mayors and county judges – almost all totally Democratic – shut this place down.  But, it’s not over yet. Science people say that we won’t peek for another week and that’s why they are insisting everybody wear a facemark.

So, our local yokel sheriff, a graduate of Jerry Falwell’s university, is running for congress so he has political statements about everything.  Did you know it’s un-American to wear a facemask because Typhoid Mary has a constitutional right to spit on you and only communists protect their children and their grandmother from damned fools who refuse to wear a mask.

Here he goes ….

 

 

Yeah, head first into an empty swimming pool.

We tried to explain to him that you wear a facemask to protect other people, but he insists that we wear it just to piss him off.

 

Damn Click Bait

April 23, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so I’m thumbing through some headlines and I see this on CNN –

 

 

Directly?  Really?  So I go scampering over to read the story.

It’s click bait.  Trump didn’t really run directly over Kemp with a bus or even a go cart.

I thought for sure that I’d get to know what kind of bus it was. Did it have one of those big advertisements on the side? How many tires did it have?  Did he back up and run over him again?  When can we get pictures?  Was there suffering involved?

That’s not fair. You shouldn’t tease people like that. Trump throws everybody under the bus, but when you say “directly,” I expect pictures. Keep that in mind, CNN.

 

Brownie Is Back

April 23, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s something about animal breeders, maybe?

Remember back to Katrina and “Heck of a job, Brownie” pretty much became the password to unlock all the Bush failures.  Michael Brown was put in charge of something he knew nothing about.  He came to government work after being a horse breeder and supervisor of judges at the International Arabian Horse Association.  He displaced a great city and was responsible for killing hundreds of people.

By the way, he’s now a rightwing talk show radio host.

Anyway, up pops another one.

Alex Azar, Secretary of Health and Human Services, told the country in late January that we had a test for the virus.  We didn’t.

Shortly after his televised comments, Azar tapped a trusted aide with minimal public health experience to lead the agency’s day-to-day response to COVID-19. The aide, Brian Harrison, had joined the department after running a dog-breeding business for six years. Five sources say some officials in the White House derisively called him “the dog breeder.”

I’m just saying this. Garbage in, garbage out.

And here’s Azar, still to this day claiming that he and Trump have done an excellent job.  They are still waiting for the virus to disappear like magic.

This virus is something we need to science the crap out of, and they put dog breeders in charge.

 

Winner, Winner, Mud Pie Dinner

April 23, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The best chyron this week.

 

 

 

I Love Yew, Houston

April 22, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

 

Seen in Houston.

We all missed Houston’s Art Car Parade last week, but you can see some past ones right here.