Guess who is up to his pencil little neck in the federal Giuliani investigation?

Pistol Pete Sessions that’s who.

Life ain’t been grand for Pete lately.  First he gets beat in the 2018 election.  Then he decides to move to another district to run for congress which is kinda stoopid considering the man couldn’t get reelected in his home district which was gerrymandered for him.

Now, this. He going to jail with a guy from New York City because the two of them were cahooting to steal money and get people killed.

Look, I’m not saying that I’m happy about all this bad stuff falling on Pistol Pete but … oh hell, I’m happy as a new born calf on his momma’s teat.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Oh y’all, I’m real distracted today because things have been nutty and it doesn’t look like it’s gonna get a whole lot better for a couple of weeks.  I’ll fill you in on the details later but it’s all good.  Meanwhile, Big Bubba has been needing my help getting some documents in order and dancing the “Why Can’t I Make This Work? Strut” on his computer talking to his printer.

However, I haven’t forgotten the salon and I thought you might enjoy this one.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President Donald Trump’s personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, was paid $500,000 for work he did for a company co-founded by the Ukrainian-American businessman arrested last week on campaign finance charges, Giuliani told Reuters on Monday.

Oh no, it gets better.

Giuliani said Parnas’ company, Boca Raton-based Fraud Guarantee, whose website says it aims to help clients “reduce and mitigate fraud”, engaged Giuliani Partners, a management and security consulting firm, around August 2018. Giuliani said he was hired to consult on Fraud Guarantee’s technologies and provide legal advice on regulatory issues.

See, if I was gonna have a company that helped someone reduce fraud, I’d call it No Fraud Guarantee.  I mean, anyone who engaged the services of Fraud Guarantee is kinda asking for fraud, don’t ya think?

So, half a million bucks to guarantee fraud.  Cool move, Rudy.

And the just as I closed the story:  Rudy’s lawyer is leaving just two weeks after he was hired and said, “He 100 percent did not do anything illegal.”

Women continue the pearl parade before congress, and things are not looking too good for the Trumpster in the Dumpster.

I guess my favorite part came from Fiona Hill yesterday.

Fiona Hill, Trump’s former National Security Council senior director for Europe and Russia, testified yesterday that then-national security adviser John Bolton told her to notify the NSC’s chief lawyer about a rogue effort by EU ambassador Gordon Sondland, Rudy Giuliani and acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, the N.Y. Times reports.

“I am not part of whatever drug deal Sondland and Mulvaney are cooking up,” Bolton instructed Hill to tell White House lawyers, according to the Times.

“Giuliani’s a hand grenade who’s going to blow everybody up,” Hill, during 9+ hours behind closed doors at the House Intelligence Committee, quoted Bolton as saying.

Bolton better hide behind his mustache because he’s gonna wake up with a horse’s head in his bed.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, so there’s this soybean farmer in Ohio who used to be the County Republican Party Chairman. He’s had a change of heart.

A soybean farmer told CNBC on Monday that he is so disgusted with the White House trade policy that he wouldn’t vote for Donald Trump again if the president literally walked on water.

That’s nice. It really is. I mean, one less vote for Trump.

Here’s the deal, though. This farmer explained …

“At the end of the day my name is Chris Gibbs, it’s not Judas. I’m not going to sell my political moorings for 30 pieces of silver.”

“So, no, I’m out,” he concluded.

Look, if this guy had any political moorings at all he never would have voted for Trump. Trump told you exactly who he was and what he was going to do before the election.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.

For those of you wondering how Trump could lose money operating a casino, here’s the explanation.  To be honest, he could not operate a revolving door, much less a business or a damn country.

Nobody for sure knows who is operating the White House impeachment defense.  Most people on the inside seem to think it’s Trump and whatever pills he takes to keep his mood on a roller coaster.  So, when somebody came up with the idea to hire Trey Gowdy to be Trump’s outside counsel, it must have been based on their similarities with weird facial skin and holy crap hairdos.

And much like Trump’s other ideas, the whole deal fell apart in 24 hours.

After Trump had lunch with Gowdy and announced that Gowdy was coming on board as his outside council, it was discovered that Gowdy was barred from doing that because of lobbying rules for ex-congressmen.

So there’s Trump, making decisions based on anything but facts and a little research, and then acting victimized when his dreams won’t come true.

On the upside, we’re all spared Gowdy. I’m thankful for that.  A little of that rodent Benghazi creep goes a long way.

A constituent of Senator Susan Collins took out a full page ad in her home newspaper.  It was kinda stunning.

That will stay in my head for a long time. Thank you, Erik Mercer.