Texas Republican Congressvarmint Bill Flores is retiring.

I’m not as excited as you might suspect.  It’s a Hard R district.  Trump won by 18 points so we’ll be replacing one fool with another.  This district includes the Waco area.

Flores is so deep into oil and gas that he slides across the room when he farts.  (Okay, okay, I already regret telling that joke because it is so gross, but I heard it out the oil patch years ago and just couldn’t help myself this morning.)

And while the chances of a Democrat winning this seat are slim to none, it’s kinda fun to see Republicans run for the hills when they see a storm coming.

… that all the gay stylists and all the seamstresses in China deeply hate you.

Thanks to Deb T for the heads up.

80 years ago today Great Britain declared war on Germany for invading Poland.  At the same time, Winston Churchill was appointed Lord of the Admiralty to fight the Germans.  He was later elected Prime Minister.  Ironically, today, 80 years to the day, Nicholas Soames, Churchill’s grandson, was notified he was being ejected from the Conservative Party, along with 20 other conservatives, for daring to vote against Boris Johnson Trump who is trying to crash the UK out of the EU without an exit plan.

Republicans in Congress can take a lesson here.  Soames, who’s been in Parliament for 37 years, is not allowed to stand for re-election as a conservative.  He disregarded this threat from Johnson and put his country before his own career.  If only our own spineless Congress would do the same here.  I’m not holding my breath.

Trump is selling tee-shirts for $99.

Okay, so they are jerseys, but they are familiar …

Hummmm …. Stand up for America?  That sounds familiar …

Oh well, like we didn’t know before now.

Thanks to Deb T for the heads up.

Okay, a Catholic church school, where there are bells, incense, exorcists, and could easily change their name to Our Lady of Perpetual Ritual and nobody would complain, is all scared of Harry Potter.

They are more scared of Harry Potter than they are of illiteracy.

“These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception,” he explained. “The curses and spells used in the books are actual curses and spells; which when read by a human being risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the text.”

That’s pretend.  Make believe. Like Santa Claus and the Easter bunny. Like wine turning into the blood of Christ.

Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas with vice presidential aspirations, has finally made a statement after the Odessa slaughter.

Greg agrees that thoughts and prayers aren’t enough.

He has a solution, my friends, and he took a strong and meaningful stand on it.

He says we should expedite executions for mass murderers.

No, I am not freekin’ kidding.

Following the second Texas mass shooting in a month, Gov. Greg Abbott tweeted on Monday night that Texas is “working on a legislative package” and that “expedited executions for mass murderers would be a nice addition.”

It’s unclear whether that legislation will wait until 2021 — the next time the Texas Legislature convenes — or if Abbott is considering calling a special legislative session.

Uh, and how many of them have been taken alive?  Good Lord, Governor, haven’t you noticed that we execute the vast majority of them on the damn spot?

And, “nice” is an odd word to use, don’t you think?  He didn’t say effective or meaningful or helpful.  He said nice. That’s just weird.

He’s just weird, y’all.