Archive for January, 2019

Here’s Our Problem

January 08, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh y’all, somebody check Lindsey Graham’s ears. I think Trump is sucking his brain out. Or, at least let’s pinpoint the exact time Lindsey became Trump’s girlfriend so we’ll know what he’s being extorted about.

Democrats have offered Trump some good deals on the wall, better deals than I would ever have offered. Trump won’t budge except for one thing – he doesn’t call it a wall anymore.  He calls it a fence, and will continue to call it a fence until he gets his money. Then it becomes a wall again.

So now, thanks to Lindsey, the wall lovers have a new demand. You know, all demands do is make it look more and more like we are being held hostage by bank robbers. Lindsey Graham says that talks to end the government shutdown will ceased until …

“We’ll have offers on the table when we find somebody that’s not crazy to deal with. We’re not going to put any offers on the table as long as people in charge of these negotiations accuse all of us who want a wall of being a racist.”

But Lindsey, you are.

You cannot stand beside Trump’s wall and say you’re not a racist. You just can’t. That’s ridiculous.

Honey, if you don’t want people to say you are a racist, stop being a racist.

Problem solved.

 

 

Things to Ponder

January 08, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have been pondering on watching Trump’s address to the nation tonight. I really don’t want to but what if he goes off on one of those tangents and starts talking like a drunk cow from Mars or something? I don’t want to miss that.

Plus, there’s this.  Trump says his predecessors confessed “in secret” to saying they should have built a border wall.

As he makes his case for building a border wall, President Trump says that his predecessors have secretly confided in him that they should have done it themselves.

They all say nope, never said that and mostly never even thought about it.  I suspect Trump will rely on the it-was-a-secret thing to back up his claims. However, none of them voted for him and “Mr. Trump has not interacted with any of his predecessors in any meaningful way since his inauguration.”

They don’t talk to him, so exchanging secrets would be kinda outta character for any of them.

So, all I can figure is that Trumps sees dead people. Which is a real possibility when you try to explains where he hears anything.

 

Oh, That’s Well Thought Out

January 07, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I am told that Fox News had a discussion this morning of who could win the presidency in 2020.

Not Beto O’Rourke, that’s for sure.

Fox News host Kennedy Montgomery on Monday asserted it would be dangerous to elect former Texas Democratic Rep. Beto O’Rourke as president because he lacks the necessary experience.

She even went on to suggest that …

“What the hell is he going to do and say?” Montgomery quipped. “I think there are actually people like Kim Jong-un who are just waiting so excitedly for someone like Beto O’Rourke because they know it would be more strategic patience and another person to push around.”

Yeah, not like Trump at all. Kim is scared of Trump and all his experience.

By the way, wikipedia lists Kennedy Montgomery’s occupation as:

Political commentator
Game show host
Television personality

Also of note: she is 46 years old and has just now discovered Ayn Rand.  Oh dear.

Thanks to S Gray for the heads up.

He’s Leaving On a Jet Plane, Hope He Won’t Come Back Again

January 07, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Trump is going to deliver a “prime time address” tomorrow night about border security.  I hope they have one of those small inset screens at the bottom with Nancy Pelosi shaking her head when he goes off on a tangent and stops being part of the social contract.

Sarah Sanders says that Trump will travel to the border this week but damn that woman hasn’t said anything true in a looooong time so I have no reason to believe her now.  However, if he does go, I hope someone shows him that the border has an underground, a sky, and and ocean.  Maybe we need a roof and a battleship.

Y’all, seriously, what if he goes off during his speech to the nation and rattles on for an hour about nothing?  Do we have to listen?  Will there be a test afterwards?

Can you just see all the Russians gathered in the Kremlin writing his national security speech right now?

By the way, he’s still saying that he can declare a national emergency and order the military to build a border wall.  I think that was season three of House of Cards.  I would be terribly surprised if the contract for his new metal fence didn’t go to the Trump Metal Fence Company.

 

Remind Me: How Many Strikes Do You Get?

January 07, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

When Trump said he was going to call the government shutdown a “strike,” I got real confused.

It couldn’t be a union strike because in that case the workers voluntarily walk off the job. The meaning is that the little guys band together to face off the big guy.  That’s not happening here.  In union terms, this is a lockout, not a strike.

Maybe he meant bowling. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Trump takes his big ball and smashes the little pins every which away.  No, wait, there  problem with that.  No big ball.

Baseball? A strike is a bad thing.  You only get three of them before you have to go back to the bench.  Trump is way over three so he probably wouldn’t admit to many more.

However, I think umpire Pelosi calls like she sees it and a baseball strike is probably what’s happening here.

Thanks to Chloe Bear for the heads up.

 

Dumber Than a Sack of Hammers

January 07, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, I have to admit that I was blissfully unaware that Donald Trump was blissfully unaware of any damn thing the federal government does.

I have now come to understand that he has no idea what a government shutdown would mean. Or what government means.

Come to find out

The Department of Housing and Urban Development sent letters to 1,500 landlords Friday as part of a last-minute effort to prevent the eviction of thousands of tenants. A lot of those tenants live in units covered by a HUD program that many agency officials didn’t realize had expired on Jan. 1 and that they are now unable to renew.

And that’s only the beginning.

The IRS and Treasury Department can’t figure out how to start providing tax refunds next month.  But, I’m sure that Steve Mnuchin can cover that out of his own pocket.

The National Park Service is suffering horrific damage to our parks and seven people have now died at National Parks.  It’s apparently Lord of the Flies out there.

And, 38 million Americans will lose access to food stamps next month.  That means children.

No damn wall.  The wall is hurtful to South Texas but most importantly, it won’t work. No damn wall.

Thanks to Deb T for the heads up.