Archive for October, 2018

And They’re Gonna Do An Autopsy?

October 17, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

So, there was this guy in Nevada running for the state assembly.  His name is Dennis Hof and, Honey, he’s a mess.  He’s calls himself “Trump from Pahrump.”

Dennis owns a stack of legal brothels.  He’s 72 years old and they found him dead in bed yesterday.  The night before he died he held a campaign rally / birthday party at his home.  Here’s the deal, according to his campaign manager.

 

Okay, so let’s take count here.  He was with Grover Norquist, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, porn star Ron Jeremy, and then Tucker Carlson called to see what he was missing.

That was the cause of death.  They’re going to do an autopsy but hell, being around those guys is lethal.  I would imagine there’s dead lizards and stuff all over the place, too.

Thanks to Phyllis for the heads up.  

Loss of Civility

October 17, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have some favorite moments from the O’Rourke / Cruz debate last night.

In the era of no-irony, Cruz snapped at a reporter who asked about the loss of civility. Listen carefully and you can hear guffaws from the audience.

To hear Ted Cruz blame the left wing for lack of civility is itself some kind of weird thinking all on its own.

 

 

And there’s Cruz’s six seconds of silence when asked about being a human being.  He was visibly shaken by the question.

You got a favorite?

 

True the Voter

October 16, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have a deep grudge against True the Vote.  The founder used to live in my county but I think I shamed her away from here.  Either that, or she changed her name and moved to Hypocrites Anonymous Village.

True the Vote is convinced that Democrats are stealing elections in Texas. Do you want to know how? By registering voters.

Here’s a fundraising letter they sent out.  Click here to see the big one.

 

 

Remember when ya’ll donated to send pre-filled out registration cards to Democrats who had moved here from other states but had not changed their voter registration?  Well, it worked a whole lot better than we anticipated.  So, True the Vote thinks you’re a jackass.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up and Election Law Blog for the find.

Saudi Economic Conference

October 16, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so the Saudis are holding an economic conference.  Just about everybody, and I mean everybody, has withdrawn from the conference.

The Saudi conference, known as “Davos in the desert,” is part of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s plan to transform the oil-dependent economy.

JP Morgan (JPM) CEO Jamie Dimon and the heads of America’s top investment firms — Blackrock (BLK) and Blackstone — are among the leading figures who have decided to stay away. Top executives at Ford (F) and MasterCard (MA) have also pulled out, and Google (GOOGL) said Tuesday that the head of its cloud computing business wouldn’t participate in the event either.

And there’s a much longer list.

But others are going.  First name on the short list?

  • US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin

Do you wanna know my theory about why he’s going?  Because the United States is a sniveling weak little nation with bozos in charge.  That’s why.

How serious can we be about human rights if we are scared to withdraw from a silly little conference where somebody is liable to come home in pieces?

Mnunchin and his silly wife will go and kiss butt and remind everybody about the great management job he did at Sears.

And that he’s goofy.

 

 

Poor Ted

October 16, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

So remember when Beto O’Rourke and Willie Nelson drew between 55,000 – 60,000 people to an outdoor venue a couple of weeks ago?  And then, true to his nature, Trump stands up and boasts that he’s going to give Ted a rally in the “the biggest stadium in Texas we can find.”

Trump forgot he was talking about Texas. They must not be very good hunters. Or, they must be little scary cats.

They have booked the rally at NRG Arena in Houston, which holds 8,000 people.  Hell, it’s even smaller than your average high school football stadium.  Honey, we have a high school football stadium in Odessa, Texas, that holds almost 18,000 people and you’ve never even heard of Odessa, Texas.

So, Trump revises and says it’s the largest venue they could find in Houston. I do not even believe that.  The rally is on a Monday night, it’s not even a weekend.  Second, why does it have to be in Houston?  Houston is a heavily Democratic city so they’re gonna have to bus-in people.

One other thing.  Richard Linkletter is directing some anti-Cruz commercials in Texas that are getting national attention.  Please meet Sonny Carl hitting hard.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRYYqEgT9uI

 

And this one hit today.  Cruz called Beto a “triple meat Whataburger liberal.” It was bizarre from the start because Whataburger is a beloved institution in Texas.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAvKZAPhOUU

 

I can’t wait to see the next one.

 

Just Short of a Tank

October 16, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all remember Kris Kobach, Trump’s buddy from Kansas who claims that Hillary swiped a couple million votes and then he got appointed by Trump to head up the official presidential committee on voter fraud and found – oh dear lord – no fraud, so he just quietly pulled up his tent and skateboarded back to Kansas?

He’s baaaack!

Parade organizers in a small Kansas town have decided they will not stop Kris Kobach, the Republican candidate for governor, mounting a replica machine gun on a jeep.

Yeah, they won’t let him have a tank, but a fake machine gun is almost the same thing and really damn cool if you’re 6 years old.

Kobach has never been in the military but he loves to play soldier.  Earlier this year, it was discovered that Kobach was on the Board of Directors of a Group called Veterans in Defense of Liberty.  It’s a charity.  This charity charitably donated 6% of it’s money raised to an actual charity.  Six whole percent!

Back to the parade.  In addition to the pretend machine gun …

The jeep is also decorated with US flag designs and has a bobblehead of Trump on its hood.

I’d almost pay money to see that.  It’d be worth it to laugh until snot comes out my nose and I pee my pants a little bit.

I am so lucky.

 

 

The bobblehead Trump is like a hood ornament.

Oh, oh, oh, little boys would love that!