DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!  OBSCENITIES POUR FORTH IN THE FOLLOWING POST! (But you shouldn’t miss it.)

This morning, Albert Burneko of Deadspin wove the finest shimmering tapestry of obscenities, descriptors, and insults to perfectly describe the absurdity of the wild spinning the last two days that a little known comedienne somehow bullied the Press Secretary of the President of the United States during the WHCD.  And somehow, Chris Cillizza got artfully caught in the crossfire.  Just a brief sample:

“A frank and honest description of who she is and what she does would be much more harsh: Every day, Sarah Huckabee Sanders plants herself, by choice, between the public and the facts of what’s being done at the very highest levels of American executive power, and does her damnedest to break and delegitimize the means by which the two are brought together. She is one of the most visible and powerful people in American civic life, and she uses her visibility and power—she chooses to use her visibility and power—to confuse the public and degrade its grasp on the truth, rather than to inform or empower or serve it. Her willingness to do this on behalf of Donald Trump, day after day, and the unmistakable teeth-gnashing relish with which she does it, are the substance of her power, and the reason why anybody knows who the fuck she is at all.”

Trust me, patrons, THIS one is worth the read.

I know that the NRA tells us that the more guns we have, the safer we are, but not Mike Pence.

The NRA posted a disclaimer on the NRA-ILA Leadership Forum event page, saying that due to Pence’s attendance, Secret Service will be responsible for event security. Therefore, “firearms and firearm accessories, knives or weapons of any kind will be prohibited in the forum prior to and during his attendance.”

The NRA is trying to contend that it’s not them outlawing guns at Pence’s speech, it’s the Secret Service.  I guess the Secret Service hasn’t seen the validity of the NRA’s second amendment thoughts. And I guess nobody told the NRA that the Secret Service is the government.

I thought the big, tough, NRA guys said that the government would have to pry their guns out of their cold, dead hands.  To see them willing to give up their rights to see Mikey in person gives me pause to reconsider their tough talk.

Not only that, it also gives me a headache.

Many are shouting this morning that Michelle Wolf was way out of bounds on Saturday when she insulted Sarah Sanders and Kellyanne Conway at the WHCD.  Trumpland was having the vapors on Sunday talk shows, and is in high spin on Faux & Friends over Wolf’s performance.  Here’s a reality check about those who are so offended:

I’m unmoved by those now taking offense at a comedienne’s crass humor.

If you held your nose and watched on Saturday, you heard the crowds at Trump’s campaign rally chanting “Nobel! Nobel! Nobel!” to Trump as he took complete credit for the thawing of relations between the two Koreas.  Let’s be frank; the vast majority of his followers don’t even know the meaning of the word Nobel, making it a certainty that the chant was planted by Trump operatives.  Additionally, FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, a nomination for Trump was forged using identity theft.  That’s right, folks, Trumpland is actively working, illegally, I might add, to get Trump a Nobel Peace Prize.  The notion of Trump winning a Nobel is as laughable as Bernie Madoff winning Financial Deal of the Year award, but don’t let your laughter cloud your awareness.  The Nobel chant on Saturday was not just some spontaneous response from an adoring crowd – it’s an operation by Trumpland because Obama has one and he doesn’t.

We already know that Trump has lied for decades about a number of issues, including his own wealth to get into the Forbes 400.  This lie is classic Trump, but more pernicious – this time, he’s not simply impersonating himself to fluff up his own net worth.  This time, someone trying to help Trump has used identity theft to nominate Trump for a Nobel.  Shortly after that forgery, a crowd of sycophants in Michigan “spontaneously” starts chanting for Trump to get that nomination so he could demure and act (emphasis on act) modestly. What a coingkidink.

Putting aside the fact that the two Koreas have gotten together to mutually protect each of their countries from the lunatic infesting the White House, an end to the Korean War is a major event.  And I guess you could credit Trump for that thawing if threatening to murder millions of people would be considered diplomacy and peacemaking.  However, the real story here is that Trump is trying to use this major event for his own gain, which, of course, is the entire reason that he inflicted himself on the US in the first place.

There is a run-off in the Republican primary over who is going to replace Lamar Smith in Congress.

Both candidates are Trump Republicans and aside from being weird and scary, they appear to be challenging each other to a prayer-off.

Meet Chip Roy.  He’s mainly afraid of America becoming Britain, where they kill sick children and what not —

…we will see a true dystopia that mirrors the nightmare we’re seeing play out in Western Europe.  A dystopia marked by open borders and sovereignty stripped away by unaccountable and rogue judges whose oath is to ideology instead of the Constitution.  A dystopia where the pews sit empty as our society secularizes and our culture erodes from a people who place their hope in government instead of God.

He’s worked for Ken Paxton and Ted Cruz so he’s running on the Scare The Hell Out Of You platform.

And then there’s Matt McCall.  Ole Matt is Conservative. Christian. Constitutionalist.  CCC?  On the front page of his website —

If I gave you a nickel overtime he says he’s a Christian, you could buy Boardwalk with three hotels.

I want to tell you something.  If two Republican men talk about being Christian that much, I’ll give you two to one odds that both of them are stealing your silverware or having carnal knowledge with farm animals.

Next week, we’re gonna look at who is giving them boatloads of money.

Somebody please send Paul Ryan a hand basket. He’s gonna need  it for the ride.

Referring to the GOP’s Tax bill, the House Chaplin prayed …“May all members be mindful that the institutions and structures of our great nation guarantee the opportunities that have allowed some to achieve great success, while others continue to struggle,” Conroy said at the time. “May their efforts these days guarantee that there are not winners and losers under new tax laws, but benefits balanced and shared by all Americans.”

Ryan fired him immediately, saying, “Padre, you just got to stay out of politics.”

In other words, “Yes, Father, there is no morality or decency left in politics and we’d like you to keep it that way.”

I hear that Ryan is looking for a priest from the Pious Sanctuary Church of Gordon Gekko.