During a congressional hearing yesterday, director of national intelligence Dan Coats testified that the “United States is under attack by the Russians to meddle in the 2018 elections after their successful meddling in the 2016 election.  The White House and congressional Republicans are silent on any action that could prevent (or at least disrupt) these efforts.  Why?  That’s easy.  The Russians are working to help the Republicans stay in power even though their voter base is shrinking.  You can be sure that if a foreign country, say Kenya, was conducting regular cyber attacks on the US to help Barack Obama stay in office, we would be bombing Nairobi right now.  Since this unprecedented attack on US sovereignty is helping them, Trump and Republicans are more than happy to allow it to continue.

That’s called, at the minimum gross negligence.  What it really is? Treason.

Michael Cohen, Trump’s longtime personal attorney, has now admitted that he indeed paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000.  He’s just not saying for what, except that he paid it out of his own pocket and was not reimbursed.  Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, had previously claimed to have had an affair with Trump, then denied it, and now refuses to answer any direct questions about it.  Cohen has also denied the affair and now won’t answer questions about it.  So…

1. We can assume the obvious which is right in front of us where Trump had an affair with a porn star; when she threatened to go public during the campaign, Trump had his lawyer do the dirty work to shut her up.  Or…
2. Cohen just decided to give the porn star $130,000 just because she has a nice pair….uh, never mind; he was just being nice to her.
3. They’re all lying and you just have to make your own assumptions.

One has to ask – Why in the world would a New York lawyer with a celebrity client who’s famous for sexual escapades just give $130,000 to a porn star, who just happened to claim she had an affair with said celebrity client?  Oh, and why would he pay that out of his own pocket without reimbursement?  The answer is obvious, and Cohen’s explanation of the whole sordid episode doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.  He claims the “transaction” was legal and had nothing to do with Trump’s campaign.  I wish him luck with that argument in court over the complaint filed with the FEC that the $130,000 was not an in-kind donation to the Trump campaign.  I can’t wait to hear the reason he paid a porn start that kind of cash if it wasn’t for the obvious reason.

Next, Cohen must think his audience is stupid.  He paid for the bribe legal transaction out of his own pocket? Right.  Money is fungible.  Here’s the definition of fungible:

Well, there goes something that would have warmed my heart.

Kris Kobach, current Kansas Secretary of State and former chairman of Trump’s now defunct Advisory Commission on Election Integrity, has made a ruling that a dog cannot run for Governor of Kansas.

The Kansas Secretary of State’s Office says Angus cannot serve as the state’s governor. While there is nothing specifically written that says a dog cannot run to lead the state, the secretary state’s office says man’s best friend is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor.

I’m not saying this is dirty politics or anything but, Kobach has announced that he’s running for Governor.  I think he’s afraid the dog would beat him.  I mean, tis sweet dog has never said anything incredibly dumb or destroyed a whole Integrity Commission.  And part of the dog’s platform is that he has a “completely anti-squirrel agenda.”  I think Kobach took that personally.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

And coming to you from western Pennsylvania …

A pastor in western Pennsylvania is speaking out after being accused of open lewdness and indecent exposure after being caught by police with a bound naked man in a car parked on a public street.

No, no, wait, seriously. It was totally innocent.

The pastor, 61-year-old George Nelson Gregory of Munhall, Pa., tells KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, “I was counseling a young man with a drug problem.”

“It did turn strange, but it wasn’t my doing, OK? And I was adamant that I’m not participating in that way. And so that’s when the police pulled up, and they assume things, but I’m standing by my story. It’s not true.”

Strange? Nah, it happens everyday for a pastor to be in a car with a bound nakkid young man on a public street in full view of nearby homes, for, you know, counseling.  No, I’m serious. It does.

Get a room, dude.  At least they have Gideon Bibles there.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Okay, so the Attorney General of the whole damn United States of America, Jeff Sessions, stood on his two feet way up on his tippie-toes  and praised sheriffs.

“The office of sheriff is a critical part of the Anglo-American heritage of law enforcement. We must never erode this historic office. I know this, you know this, we want to be partners, we don’t want to be bosses, we want to strengthen you and help you be more effective in your work,” Sessions told the National Sheriffs’ Association.

And I suspect he’s damn right.

But, here’s the fun part.

In an earlier version of the speech released by the Justice Department early Monday, the phrase “Anglo American” was not included. “The Sheriff is a critical part of our legal heritage,” did appear.

So he got up in that room filled with good ole white boys and felt it was only fitting to mention that bygawd sheriffs are mostly white boys.

(Heavy sigh.) No, it’s not enough for Jeff to be white. He wants to be neon white.

Thanks to Propane Jane for the heads up.

Okay, so a guy who had his fourth DWI conviction says the DWI laws in Texas are discriminatory because the discriminate against … yeah, alcoholics.

Ralph Alfred Friesenhahn argued that the state’s driving limit of 0.08 blood-alcohol concentration ignores the higher tolerances that frequent drinkers have to the effects of liquor, allowing the “protected class of alcoholics” to be prosecuted without having to prove that they had lost control of their mental or physical abilities.

Friesenhahn was arrested after a single-car rollover accident along a rural Comal County road south of New Braunfels. Blood tests later indicated that he had an alcohol concentration of 0.29 — more than 3½ times the legal limit.

Honey, when you’re triple drunk, it’s probably best not to act all cute.  You need to shuddup and learn to walk a line while poopfaced.

Shockingly, even in Texas the courts said nope.  You cannot drink and drive in Texas because somebody might get hurt.  You can, however, drink and carry a gun.  A big gun if you want to.  So, there’s always that.