You just thought that the Amtrak train carrying congressional Republicans rammed a garbage truck killing one and injuring others.  That didn’t happen at all.  What REALLY happened was that a cement truck, a big KAMIKAZE cement truck, RAMMED the train to kill Paul Ryan and others on the train.  The reliable source for this blockbuster story?  That’s right, it’s Alex Jones of sending-children-to-Mars-to-enslave-them fame.  That’s right, within a few hours of the tragic accident, Jones had determined that it was an attack on conservatives.  Jesus, this guy needs more drugs.

Y’all need to quit pestering me about Trey Gowdy not running for re-election.  I am very busy right now dancing on the table tossing glitter every which a way.

In the richness of multiple metaphors, the train carrying congressional Republicans to their retreat in West Virginia hit a garbage truck this morning.  This is a breaking story; apparently injuries on the train are minor, but unknown so far is if anyone in the truck or surrounding area were injured.

I just find it ironic that the train wreck that is the congressional Republicans was in an actual train wreck today – with a garbage truck.  The symbolism is overwhelming.

Remember when South Texas Congressslob Blake Farenthold promised to repay the $84,000 of taxpayer money he used to payoff a woman he had sexually harassed?

That was on December 3rd and he promised to repay it within a week.

I hope you haven’t been holding your breath or tapping your fingers on the breakfast table waiting for Blake to write a check.

U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold has backed off his pledge to pay back a taxpayer-funded sexual harassment settlement.

A member of his communications staff says, on the advice of counsel, Farenthold is “waiting to see what changes the House makes to the Congressional Accountability Act before repaying the funds.”

No, no, uh uh, no.  Whatever changes they do make, Blake still owes you and me $84,000.  Nothing is gonna change that except for a check for $84,000 with Blake’s signature on it.

Now here’s the fun part. It ain’t like he can’t afford it.  He’s worth $6.6 million smackeronis.

Write a damn check, Blake.

However, Blake is trying to kiss-up to the ladies in another way.

Too little, too late, Bozo.

That’s all you gave the ladies, when you had plenty of money for lawyers?

Now, those of you with time to tap your fingers on the table, go look at Blake’s expenses with his campaign money.  He shames Louie Gohmert in the Holy Cow! department.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Brenda Fitzgerald, Trump appointee to head the Center for Disease Control has abruptly resigned.  In the announcement, the administration cited her reason as “complex financial interests”.  OK, let’s translate that into English…Fitzgerald owns tobacco company stocks and other investments that conflict her with the mission of the CDC.  As we all know, fighting tobacco use and its associated diseases is one of the CDC’s flagship missions.  And, it gets better…Because of her investments, she has conflicted herself out of testifying before Congress.  Interesting strategy – “I’m so conflicted in my job that I can’t testify as to what I’m doing in my job.”  Anyhoo, she finally caved and has resigned rather than divest as required.  What better person to fight tobacco use than someone invested in tobacco, right?

Here’s the good part.  She bought the tobacco company stock…wait for it…AFTER she was appointed head of CDC and had toured the agency’s tobacco research lab.  That’s rich.

Texas Agriculture Commission and all-around jackass, Sid Miller, tweeted yesterday about the Nunes Memo.

If somebody would please point me to a starting place, I’ll try to ‘splain it to him.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.