Okay, I admit it.  Twitter is having a lot of fun.

Ivanka Trump’s lifestyle business has some Thanksgiving decorating suggestions.

Nothing says Thanksgiving like an enormous clam, dirt and sticks from the yard, and very pale squash things that look a little like toy pumpkins.  Apparently, the white people are having white pumpkins for Thanksgiving dinner.

Here’s the link on how to build the damn thing. However, if I am invited to your house for Thanksgiving and that’s in the center of the table, I am taking my string beans and jello salad and I’m going home.

The folks at Twitter felt much the same.

There’s more at Huff Post.

Or, better yet, check out Twitter.

Thanks to Lynn for the heads up.

Russian oligarch, close ally of Putin, and owner of the Chelsea Football Club in London just parked his 500 foot yacht in Palm Beach in advance of Trump’s migration to the Winter White Shit House for Thanksgiving.  I’m sure this was a pure coinkinkydink, right?

Well, you knew it had to happen.

Police in Tennessee say a man accidentally shot himself and his wife while showing off his gun in church.

Tellico Plains Police Chief Russ Parks told The Knoxville News Sentinel that members of the First United Methodist Church were talking about guns in churches.

Parks said the man pulled out .380 caliber Ruger handgun, removed the magazine, cleared the chamber, and showed the gun. He put the magazine back in and returned the gun to its holster.

When someone asked if they could see the gun, he pulled it out saying the gun was not loaded and pulled the trigger.

Parks said the bullet sliced the man’s palm, then entered the left side of his wife’s abdomen and exited the right side.

The couple, in their 80s, were flown to a hospital with injuries that didn’t appear to be life-threatening.

Oh, I dunno.  I kinda imagine his life is in deep danger once they get home.  For the rest of his life his wife will ask, “Remember that time you shot me, you damn fool?”

Somebody, please, in the name of the Lord, take guns away from 80 year old people.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

You wanna hear something that is so chicken poop it takes the prize of all chicken poop everywhere for all time? In the World Series of chicken poop, this wins five games straight.

Remember the woman who had the F*** Trump sticker on her pick up truck and the sheriff in my damn county, Troy Nehls, issued a threat against her civil rights on damn Facebook?

The sheriff is fixing to announce that he’s running for congress in the Republican primary against incumbent Pete Olson. This whole Facebook thing backfired horribly on him. Nehls said in the Facebook post that the local district attorney has agreed to file charges against the owner of the truck.  The district attorney responded that he never said any such thing because he understands the First Amendment and supports it.

Oops.  Egg on face alert.

The sheriff’s department issues a statement.

Fort Bend County Sheriff’s spokeswoman Caitlin Espinosa said Sheriff Nehls was no longer commenting on the matter following threats to his wife and children after the post went viral on social and news media.

Troy Nehls

This is at least the fourth time I can recall that he’s hidden behind his wife and children when he’s made a fool of himself. This becomes important in a minute.

Well ….

Now Nehls has changed his whole story.  Now he’s claiming the whole Facebook post was not about the F*** Trump.  It was about bringing the owner out in the public because he has a warrant on her for fraud.  (By the way, a hot check can cause a fraud warrant.) Then he forgets the whole wife and kid thing and issues a statement:

The Facebook post accomplished its objective and now we know who owns the truck,” he said.

Holy damn crap.

Okay, he just did that Facebook thing just to see who owns the truck?  No. I don’t think so. The police can look you up though your license plate.

Okay, wait some more.  You have a warrant and you know the name on the warrant.  If you knew the person driving the truck was the same person on the warrant, why didn’t you just freekin’ look up her driver’s license to see where she lives?  Let me see if I have this right:  You’re using the county’s Facebook account as an investigative tool when you could have looked up her voter registration, which is public record, and which I did.  And it’s there. Easy, peasy.

I forgot to mention that Nehls has a degree from Liberty University.  I am not kidding. He is a Jerry Falwell robot.  I’m not saying he’s dumb, but bless his heart, he’s not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.  Oh hell, he’s dumb as dog dump.

So, Sheriff Nehls executed a warrant from last August at Karen Fonseca’s home last night.

Mike Fonseca, Karen’s husband, says she was arrested at their Stafford home in front of her 6-year-old daughter.

He questions the timing.

“I think it’s the sticker,” he said during an interview outside the Fort Bend County Jail.

In police lingo, this is called, “You can beat the rap but you can’t beat the ride.”

Now here’s the thing that’s gonna cause you to hit the roof: Karen Fonseca, the owner of the truck, used to work for Troy Nehls at the sheriff’s department.

This stinks to high hell and back, and I could not be more delighted.

UPDATE

Bubba has been helping us.  Look at the date on this.  (Click on the little one to get the big one.)

Note this –   “Arrest Date: Not arrested on this charge.”

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We’ve have raised $3,570 from 80 donors to pay for the ballot by mail program for Texas Democrats.  You are amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If you are not one of those donors, please become one.  We need $430 to reach our goal.  I have new small counties that need adopting.  Please go find one you’re willing to help.

Look at it this way, if we reach the $4,000 mark, I won’t ask you for money for two years.  If we don’t, I’ll keep whining.  Your choice.

By the way, please feel free to go over $4,000.  We’ll use the leftovers to fund another beauty shop project.