Today in Texas you can start openly carrying your sword.  I wish I was kidding.

Texas used to have a law saying you couldn’t carry a knife longer than 5.5 inches.  It would be so easy to make a winkie joke here about the state legislature in Texas, but I won’t unless you absolutely insist. Well, with a law that went into effect Friday, blades longer than 5.5 inches – including daggers, machetes and, yes, swords – can now be openly carried by adults in Texas.

You know, because there was a real problem in Texas with the ability of people to play pirate in the middle of damn Walmart.

Hunter Follett, owner of Dallas-area sword shop Swords of Might, said the law might give a bad name to those who collect and train with medieval weaponry.

“I think it’s an OK law,” Follett said. “Swords have been carried for 5,000 years, but I don’t want people going out in the streets who don’t know what they’re doing or don’t have training in carrying a sword and potentially frightening people.”

Potentially?  Ya think?

Oh well, at least there is going to be some hysterical funny, albeit messy, self-inflicted wounds.

Y’all, I’m gonna lobby the lege that I should be allowed to openly carry my chain saw.  I’ve thought for a long time that I should start another non-blog named The Teas Chainsaw Manicurist.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Okay, here’s the deal.

Houston had the equivalent of a Great Lake dumped on her.

Los Angles is having the largest fire in history.

Half a million acres are on fire in Montana, which is pretty much the entire state.

San Francisco is having record breaking heat, 106 degrees today.

Hurricane Irma is looking like she’s gonna explode somewhere on the east coast.

And now Donald Trump tells us that we need to worry about North Korea.

We don’t have damn time.

We have to worry about fire and water.*

*Ann Coulter wants you to know that this has nothing to do with climate change.  Apparently, it’s all just real bad luck.

Here we go with some great news!  Glen Maxey announced that we won the Grand Prize for the Race Across Texas!  Thank you so much for helping.  All the prizes will be auctioned-off and the money goes to the Texas Democratic Party’s Ballot By Mail Program.

I’m going to volunteer today and then do the first normal thing I’ve done in ten days – go to the ball game.  The park is open and we’re playing the Mets.  I do not feel the least bit guilty for going.

Nobody has seen Trump’s one million dollar donation to the recovery effort yet.  Maybe Dr. Evil will deliver it for him.  I hear they’re close.   Y’all, Trump does not have one million dollars.  That’s why he pimps those stoopid hats.

I am sincerely hoping that things will begin to get normal tomorrow.  However, school is out for another week and it’s hotter than hell here.

Question to ponder.  Will General Kelly make it another week?

See ya tomorrow.

Y’all, seriously?  He thinks it’s beautiful and good for the country.

I am exhausted tonight but I could not go to sleep without saying there is something wrong with this guy.

And it scares the poop outta me.

I cannot say that I am shocked.

We make sandwiches while the Red Cross makes excuses.  You can read the whole story here.

Houston has volunteers lining up around the block. The Mayor (a Democrat) and the County Judge (a Republican, but a sane one) have done an excellent job and I don’t think that either one of them has slept in a week.  The Red Cross?  They have supply trucks in Dallas because they didn’t think the roads were going to flood.

If Jim Bob and his bass boat can get here with the entire Cajun Navy, what can’t the Red Cross get here?

Hell, we even shamed Joel Olsteen into opening his church.

Just one other thing: