Thank you, Michigan.

So there’s just one notebook left on the shelf at Walmart and school is fixing to start.

Your 20 year old daughter sees someone reaching for the notebook, so a grabbing match ensues complete with cussin’ and hair pullin’.

So what do you do? You reach in your purse and pull out your gun, of damn course.

The police detective investigating the case spoke to the media.

“It was a senseless act of violence all the way around.” Police are now working with prosecutors to try to determine whether the woman’s actions could be classified as self-defense. She had a valid concealed gun license.

Yeah, well, I can certainly see that – hair pullin’ could be serious bodily injury.  You know, we don’t have that problem in Texas.  We have big hair and if you stick your hand in there, you’re liable to lose it in the AquaNet.  We kinda let nature take care of hair assault.

On the upside, the gun toting momma ended up with the notebook and checked out of the store with it.  There’s that.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

M&M’s Souther Creole Cooking is back out on the streets today sending a big ole thank you to all of you!

Your donations have made this possible.

Here’s some pictures!

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They fed 100 people at a local hotel last night and went out in kayaks to feed workers cleaning up debris.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting the good people in my hometown!

Thanks to Ralph for this explanation:

Suppose a sheriff comes to your home and takes away your guns.

You tell the sheriff that you have a constitutional right to have guns.

The sheriff says “Tough luck, I’m taking your guns.”

You go to court and the judge tells the sheriff that he can’t take your guns.

The sheriff says “Tough luck, I’m taking your guns.”

The judge tells the sheriff that he is going to jail.

The President pardons the sheriff, no jail.

Your constitutional right to own guns is gone.

You say “Wait a minute, a sheriff and the President can’t take away my constitutional rights.”
But they just did.

Share this with your friends in the NRA and supporters of Sheriff Arpaio.

Trump is supposed to be on the verge of repealing DACA because it has President Barack Obama’s cooties all over it.

There really is no other reason to do it.  It’s an Obama Cootie thing.

I live in Texas so I know lots of Dreamers.  There is an amazing and hauntingly heartbreaking story in the Houston Chronicle today about a Dreamer who died trying to rescue flood victims.

Trump has never forgiven President Obama for making fun of him at the correspondent’s dinner.  Trump is determined to wipe out all Obama-era executive orders, because he knows that doing it will hurt Obama … and the entire nation. Screw the nation – Trump has to hurt Obama.

Repealing DACA is the cruelest thing this country has done in my lifetime.  These young people don’t know anyone in Mexico. They haven’t returned since being taken out as children because they were afraid they couldn’t get back in.  They have jumped through hoops to get Dreamer status.

I feel fairly certain that congress will legislate DACA, but we have to waste time and money, and scare crap outta good kids just so Trump can feel like he has large hands.

Trump needs to come with a disclaimer: This is not how adults act.

Today in Texas you can start openly carrying your sword.  I wish I was kidding.

Texas used to have a law saying you couldn’t carry a knife longer than 5.5 inches.  It would be so easy to make a winkie joke here about the state legislature in Texas, but I won’t unless you absolutely insist. Well, with a law that went into effect Friday, blades longer than 5.5 inches – including daggers, machetes and, yes, swords – can now be openly carried by adults in Texas.

You know, because there was a real problem in Texas with the ability of people to play pirate in the middle of damn Walmart.

Hunter Follett, owner of Dallas-area sword shop Swords of Might, said the law might give a bad name to those who collect and train with medieval weaponry.

“I think it’s an OK law,” Follett said. “Swords have been carried for 5,000 years, but I don’t want people going out in the streets who don’t know what they’re doing or don’t have training in carrying a sword and potentially frightening people.”

Potentially?  Ya think?

Oh well, at least there is going to be some hysterical funny, albeit messy, self-inflicted wounds.

Y’all, I’m gonna lobby the lege that I should be allowed to openly carry my chain saw.  I’ve thought for a long time that I should start another non-blog named The Teas Chainsaw Manicurist.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.