Those of you helping us win the Texas Historical Society’s Race Across Texas contest will be happy to know that we are still in the lead for the Grand Prize!

Last week we won a framed map of famous Texas cattle drives – which will bring some more dollars at auction for the Texas Ballot By Mail Application program.

Thank you for continuing to play on Glen Maxey’s team.  We are shooting for the gold!

It’s not too late to sign up.  If you signed up before but are not getting daily test questions (it’s like an open book test), try again!

Cheeto Jesus didn’t disappoint tonight in his appearance for devotees in Phoenix.  He shoveled manure in copious quantities.  A few of his gems:

1. He reread his Saturday Charlottesville statement, but left out the “many sides” line.
2. Announced that indeed his first pardon was going to former Joe Arpaio, convicted criminal and country’s third most notorious racist.  (Number one is Cheeto Jesus, of course, followed by David Duke.  Luckily, Duke is not currently convicted of any race crimes, so no pardon currently needed.  However, since Charles Manson is not eligible for parole until 2027, Trump could well go for him next.)
3. Lies again about Washington’s statues.
4. He’s going to cancel NAFTA.
5. The media is the real enemy that caused the violence in Charlottesville. That’s right, it wasn’t the racists wearing body armor and carrying clubs; it was those panty waist reporters.
6. He was hoping to take candy away from a kid on stage, but apparently they couldn’t find a kid willing to go up there.

It was Trump’s normal appalling performance that we have come to expect and continues to make us the laughingstock of the world.

Well, they would be laughing if he didn’t have the nuclear codes.  I just wish someone would tell this stupid sumbitch that the election is over, and he doesn’t need to do this (but for his insatiable ego).

Everybody is a little nervous.

Start checking them off for me.

I’m will be gloriously involved with baseball tonight but will check to approve comments between innings.

I’m saying he’s gonna hit 4 out of 7.  Maybe all 7 if somebody read the article to him.

Okay, this probably wouldn’t be too bad if this woman was not married to the damn Treasury Secretary.  And he is old enough to be her father.

The wife of the Treasury secretary on Monday night took a page from President Trump’s social media playbook for punching down.

Louise Linton, the labels-loving wife of Steven Mnuchin, replied condescendingly to an Instagram poster about her lifestyle and belittled the woman, Jenni Miller, a mother of three from Portland, Ore., for having less money than she does.

Here’s the deal.  Ms. Snotty’s just couldn’t wait to post a picture of herself getting off a government airplane and then listed all the fancy pants clothes she was wearing. #rolandmouret, #hermesscarf, #tomford and #valentino.

Honey, if you have to do that, it means you have nothing going for you except things to cover your scrawny butt.

So, a woman in Oregon, simply replied to Louise’s public Instagram account, “Glad we could pay for your little getaway. #deplorable.”

That set Louise on fire, and she replied with a rants that would make Donald Trump look modest.

“Aw!!! Did you think this was a personal trip?! Adorable!” she wrote. “Do you think the US govt paid for our honeymoon or personal travel?! Lololol. Have you given more to the economy than me and my husband? Either as an individual earner in taxes OR in self sacrifice to your country?”

Ms. Linton went on: “I’m pretty sure we paid more taxes toward our day ‘trip’ than you did. Pretty sure the amount we sacrifice per year is a lot more than you’d be willing to sacrifice if the choice was yours.” After that, she included emojis of a curled bicep and a face blowing a kiss.

“You’re adorably out of touch,” she said, later adding, “your life looks cute” before concluding, “Go chill out and watch the new game of thrones. It’s fab!”

Yeah, but you know what, Louise, there’s some things some women won’t do for money.

Louise, in a act of courage, immediately made her account private so the woman in Oregon, or I suppose any other poor people, could respond.

So I will.  Louise, you are a ho and we won’t even add Bless Your Heart to it.  But, you know, lollollol.

EDITED

Oh dear Lord, did I forget to mention where Ms. Louise of the Hermes Scarf was going when she posted the picture?

Yeah, Fort Knox.  Seriously.  You don’t think she waited in the plane while her husband went, now do you?

Can’t you just see all those guys kneeling down and worshipping at that particular location?

Well, Bannon is throwing caution to the wind over at Breitbart.  Here’s a way you can kinda see most of it without having to actually go to Breitbart because you shouldn’t go there because there’s some things you can’t unsee.

Breitbart News, with former White House chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon back in charge, is ripping mad at President Trump after Monday’s Afghanistan speech foreshadowed an increase in ground troops.

Yeah, let’s send more troops.

How about Uday and Qusay here getting their driver to take them on down to the enlistment office?

Or maybe Jarred?  I mean, LBJ’s son in law served in Vietnam while Johnson was president so it’s not like something that would be weird.

You know what would make me happy?  Trump and Bannon at war.  Happy dance.

Y’all, it’s our favorite growling poodle, Louie Gohmert, Republican congressvarmint from deep east Texas.

Louie went on Fox News and explained trigonometry and performed brain surgery right there on the damn teevee, by gawd.

And then, as an encore, he attempted to one-up noted Republican scholar and part time congressman Bryan Zollinger by explaining Charlottesville.

Gohmert even claims there are “witnesses” who saw KKK and Black Lives Matters protesters get off the same buses in Charlottesville, implying they were simply paid actors by Democrats. Gohmert urged Trump to appoint an independent counsel to investigate Democrats, even though presidents do not, and cannot, appoint independent counsels.

Oh Honey, there’s movies.  Of course there’s movies.  And as a bonus, Louie explains how he could have saved America in 2005 but “they” wouldn’t listen to him.

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for Louie Gohment who always puts things in perspective.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.