Archive for July, 2017

Dumb, Dumb, Dum-Dum

July 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Something is really wrong with our thinking mechanisms.

Remember when 7% of adult Americans thought chocolate milk comes from brown cows?

Oh, we’ve topped that one.

Discovery Channel hyped that Michael Phelps was going to race a great white shark to see who’s faster. People were extremely upset that Phelps raced a CGI shark instead of getting into a swimming pool with a live one.  Did these people not see Jaws? Did they not realize that a shark has more teeth than Michael Phelps does? Yeah, and next week Sylvester Stallone will wrestle a tiger in a locked cage.

And you wonder why Donald Trump still has supporters?

 

I Love Yew, Texas

July 24, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Compensation Alert!

The two smallest men in Texas …

 

Captions are welcome.

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.

Poor President of the United Damn States of America

July 23, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I think he wants some cheese with that whine.

 

Uh, I hate to mention this, but I think Trump “forgot” that he has insulted them all.

And …. a proper president doesn’t need protection.  A proper president can stand on his own.

Here’s an idea, though.  Let’s let the congress protect Trump and let the Secret Service make laws.

 

Congress Finally Did Something

July 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, this is kinda fun.  The only damn thing that Congress can agree on is that Donald Trump cannot be trusted.

Congressional leaders have reached an agreement on sweeping sanctions legislation to punish Russia for its election meddling and aggression toward its neighbors, they said Saturday, defying the White House’s argument that President Trump needs flexibility to adjust the sanctions to fit his diplomatic initiatives with Moscow.

So here sits Donald Trump.  If he vetoes this sucker, that means that he’s in Putin’s pocket.  If he accepts it, Putin’s pocket is gonna get kinda tight around Trump’s patootie.

It’s not written in cement yet.

There are still hurdles to clear. Neither Speaker Paul D. Ryan nor Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader, immediately issued statements on Saturday to give the agreements their blessing.

It will be fun watching those two bless one side or the other.

Yes, Indeed, You Can Indict The President

July 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ken Starr is as worthless as cornflake recipes.  It always stuck me as odd that while chancellor of Baylor University he purposefully averted his eyes to rape on campus, but was horrified at a consensual blow job a few years before.

However, while he was prosecuting Bill Clinton for something completely unrelated to an Arkansas land deal (See what I did there, Trump?), there was a memo produced that has been hidden in the national archives for two decades.

“It is proper, constitutional, and legal for a federal grand jury to indict a sitting president for serious criminal acts that are not part of, and are contrary to, the president’s official duties,” the Starr office memo concludes. “In this country, no one, even President Clinton, is above the law.”

And it was written by a conservative law professor.

This produces a couple of questions, though.

Can Trump he tried as an adult?

How will we find handcuffs that small?

 

Mean Sumbitches

July 22, 2017 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

While we are waiting for any one of the scenarios where Trump gets dumped (see El Jefe below), I have a little entertainment for you.

It appears that Republicans are mean sumbitches.

A 59 year old man who lives right outside San Antonio has taken an unbridled dislike of Texas Senator Ted Cruz to epic levels.

James Amos Headley is a big Donald Trump supporter, so he called Ted and left a helpful voicemail message on his office phone.

Pretty soon you’re gonna be runnin for your life, just hope your family is not with ya because I’m not gonna insult them, I’m gonna kill them, right after I shoot you right in front of them…” court documents quote Headley as saying in a July 11 voicemail left at the official’s office at the U.S. Capitol.

You know that’s from a Texas Republican because even their voicemail has bad punctuation.

Healey has been arrested and put in jail.  When he gets out, somebody needs to let him know that if he gets an itch to shoot something, squirrel hunting is legal in Texas and you can hardly tell the difference between Ted and a squirrel.

Thanks to Sue for the heads up.