Okay, so there’s our new Attorney General Jeff Sessions.  He’s all about trying to put Willie Nelson in jail.

And I am astonished to hear people suggest that we can solve our heroin crisis by legalizing marijuana – so people can trade one life-wrecking dependency for another that’s only slightly less awful. Our nation needs to say clearly once again that using drugs will destroy your life.

He also wants you to know that masturbation causes blindness and leaches can cure polio.

Marijuana – slightly less awful than putting your head in the blender.

Just say no worked so damn well that we need to try that again.

Meet Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortie.  He’s a birther and a strong Donald Trump supporter.  You’ll be relieved to know that he’s not grabbing women by the whoha.

No, sireee. Not Good Old Republican Ralph.

KOCO 5 learned that Moore police have recommended three prostitution-related charges against State Senator Ralph Shortey.

These charges include: soliciting prostitution of a minor, prostitution within 1000 feet of a church and transporting for the purpose of prostitution.

Police say the investigation started after a man was found in a motel room with an underage boy. Employees at the Motel 8 in Moore say a person by the name of Ralph Shortey checked in on March 9 and shortly after police arrived.

And in 2014, Dog the Bounty Hunter campaigned for him.  Dog advertised himself as “Ex-Con to Icon.”  Shortie got confused and did that backwards.

Mayor Tim Collision of Langley, Washington, got himself into a snit with the local newspaper over the sanctuary city ordinance.

In what seems to some like a little ole retribution against the newspaper, the mayor emailed the newspaper a bill for talking to the city attorney.  Mayor Tim claimed that the city should not have to pay the city attorney to talk to reporters.

Well that floated like a cement submarine and the mayor made national headlines for being a horse’s patootie.

So, he changed his dance and decide that it was all a joke and that he was just trying to make a point.  You know, and the point is that he’s a jerk.  He proved it well.

On March 8, the mayor left a voice mail recording on a reporter’s cell phone asking for the newspaper’s billing address so he could send an invoice to The Record for time a reporter spent speaking with the city attorney. The reporter called Callison back shortly after. The mayor reiterated his request for the newspaper’s billing address and remarked that the attorney’s time isn’t free.

The following day, he emailed The Record a copy of the city’s invoice with the following statement: “Pleas [sic] find attached the bill for contacting the City’s Attorney on February 9, 2017. Please remit the amount of $64 to the City.

So now he’s saying that all this was just to make a point that the city attorney isn’t free.

Nice try, Mr. Mayor.  I hear Sean Spicer is looking for a back-up dancer.

Tuesday night 9:11 pm Texas time

Who else thinks Trump leaked the tax return?

California Republican Congressfool Darrell Issa has written a check with his mouth that his butt can’t cash.

Issa was elected on the thinnest of margins in the country.  And guess who is sawing off that margin:

An internal poll by Issa’s campaign showed a nearly 10-percentage point drop in his favorability ratings between mid-October and early December — and that one likely reason the lawmaker’s image took a hit was because of his support for President Trump.

The best part is that the internal poll was obtained after a judge ruled against Issa in a $10 million lawsuit Issa filed against his Democratic opponent the day before the November 8th election.  Issa claimed that his opponent …

… had doctored a newspaper quote to make it appear that the representative did not support providing healthcare to victims, first responders and others involved in the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

The lawsuit said that the commercials unfairly made Issa appear as a “deceitful, uncaring person and corrupt” lawmaker.

The judge said quotes used in the 9/11 advertisement was “substantially true.” Issa and a bipartisan group of lawmakers had voted down a bill seeking further benefits for the victims.

So the judge, after looking at the evidence, pretty much said, yeah, Issa is a deceitful, uncaring person and corrupt.

Hell, he could have just asked me.

And now Issa will have to pay his opponent’s legal bills for the lawsuit.

Now there’s a smile.

Texas Republican Congressmess Smokey Joe Barton had himself a time at his his town hall.  One thing you will learn right here is that one does not question Joe ByGawd Barton.

Some of his constituents were hacked off that Smokey Joe voted against the Violence Against Women Act.

If you can’t hear it, here is a transcript.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Now given your voting record opposing legislation protecting women from violence, will you make a commitment to us today, make a promise, that you will reach out to Congresswoman Jackie Speier and work with her to see this bill successfully through Congress?

BARTON: Let me comment on a number of things that you’re – on the first bill that I voted against, that’s a true statement, and I voted against it because I think that’s a state issue not a federal issue, there are –

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Boo! No!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Civil rights don’t go to states.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: It’s violence against women, that’s a national issue. That is an issue that impacts everyone everywhere, not only in this country but everywhere.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Civil rights.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: You represent Texas first.

BARTON: You, you sir shut up.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: [jeers] You don’t tell anybody to shut up, you work for us.

Do not question The Joe.