Archive for November, 2016

Making America Great Again – By Destroying Jobs Next Door

November 16, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election, Trump

One of the most infuriating features of Cheeto Jesus’ shameful campaign was the “Make America Great Again” motto that he coined that was actually code for “Make America White Again”.  He shouted it from every podium and plastered it across the front of those weird made-in-china trucker caps that he wore on the days his combover just wasn’t working. His top two goals if he won (sigh; I can’t believe I just said that) was to destroy our healthcare system and somehow bring “jobs, jobs, jobs”.

Since the election, with few exceptions, Cheeto Jesus and his merry band of bigots have been holed up in his gold plated headquarters in New York City plotting to destroy not only our healthcare system, but also medicare, social security, aid to the poor, the environment, and, oh, yeah, peace.  His presence in the heart of screen-shot-2016-11-16-at-8-22-54-amNew York City, though, has had an immediate effect – it has choked traffic to a standstill due to security and the large anti-Cheeto demonstrations.  Up until yesterday, the City of New York had parked sand-filled snow plow trucks nose to tail around the block to keep people away.  At one point this last weekend, traffic was backed up beyond 112th St. on Fifth Avenue, which is at the top of Central Park, over 50 blocks away.

(more…)

And The Real Fun Begins!

November 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

U.S. Army veteran Ernest Walker of Cedar Hills, Texas, went to Chili’s on Veteran’s Day to partake of their free meal to veterans.

screen-shot-2016-11-15-at-8-58-44-amWalker, accompanied by his service dog Barack, said he believes an elderly man wearing an American flag shirt and Trump sticker told the restaurant manager that Walker was wearing his cap indoors and was not a U.S. veteran and should not receive the free meal.

Okay, we have a lot of stupid laws in Texas, but wearing a baseball cap indoors ain’t one of them.  Otherwise, you’d have to arrest the entire VFW on most bingo nights.

… the manager asked for Walker’s military ID, which he provided. Walker also provided his discharge paperwork.

Walker said the manager then took his to-go meal.

“I looked around and I’m embarrassed at this point,” Walker said. “People are looking. I’m a soldier. I’m a person and everybody’s looking like I stole food.”

The manager also indicated the service dog was not a service dog, despite having a red service vest and certified service tags.

Chili’s has apologized all over themselves.

By the way, Texas now has a veteran designation on veteran drivers licenses so they don’t have to carry around their discharge paperwork to get their discount.  I appreciate that.

Thanks to Old Mayfly for the heads up.

UCT: Dog Catches Car Edition

November 15, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

We innerupt dis broadcast of “Da Blaming of Da Shrew” in order to bring ya our next episode of Unintentional Consequences T’eater. I am yer host wit’ da most, Primo’s Uncle, James Tiberius Grobnik. Wit’ me as always, dat corner purveyor of Old Style Beer, my frien’ Pete.

[Tiberius?]

Pipe down, Primo, it’s a stage name. You said we could do dis ourselves. In tonight’s episode, we are lookin’ at da unintended consequences of da dog dat caught da car (h/t Lyntilla!).

Pete: How come I gotta play da girl part?

Barstool: Because Primo is MY nephew. Shuddup and read.

Pete: Fodder, you have won da Presidency despite great odds, what are you gonna do now.

Barstool: Well, my darling daughter Ivanka, I am gonna President from Monday t’ru T’ursday, and den I’m gonna golf or somet’in’.

Pete: But my Fodder, you know not how to… Primo! Can I be yer uncle, just fer da purposes a’dese T’eaters?

[I dunno, Pete. What’s my bar tab?]

Pete: Zip! Zilch! Zero! My cuff is now clean.

[Good enough for me. Uncle Tiberius, grab his girl parts.]

Barstool: No way! I ain’t dat kinda guy, and I especially ain’t Dat Guy.

Pete: Like hell yer not! Say’s right dere on da scrip’: “DAT GUY….Uncle Jimmy.”

Barstool: Uh-uh, no way.

Pete: Den let me be Dat Guy. Gimme da scrip’.

[Ya know? In retrospect, I don’t think any of us wants to be Dat Guy. Give me the scripts.]

Barstool: I especially now don’t wanna be Dat Guy. He spent da whole election puttin’ off bad stories, avoidin’ embarrassin’ trials, hidin’ ties to da Russkies, buryin’ his finances, and runnin’ away from da Press. Don’t he know dat, now, dey got four years of deep, intense, painful scrutiny not of just him, but everybody aroun’ him?   By winnin’ he just ensured dat everybody wit’ a word processor is gonna be sniffin’ t’ru his whole goddamn life. Plus dose of his Cabinet o’ Deplorables an’ his family.

[“Word Processor?”]

Pete: So da Unintended Consequence is dat his fragile little ego will continue to get da crap beat outta it for four more years?

[That’s right, Uncle Pete! Tiberius, take us out.]

Barstool: We are gonna renegotiate da roles before da next one a’dese, I promise yuz bot’. In da meantime, dis concludes dis episode of Unintended Consequences T’eater, Dog Catches Car Edition. We now return yuz to yer regularly scheduled program, already in regress.

Gun Nuts Have Knife Fight

November 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Donald Trump has asked for top security clearances for three of his adult children.  Melania doesn’t need one – she’ll just plagiarize someone else’s.

The Trump Royal Family is also finding entertainment is the usual ways — pitting people against each other to disgrace themselves and snitch on each other.

Donald Trump’s transition is being marked by sharp internal disagreements over key cabinet appointments and direction, both for internal West Wing positions and key national security posts, sources involved in the transition team tell CNN.

One source with knowledge of the transition described it as a “knife fight.”

I suspect that most of the knives are in the backs of the fighters.

And to everyone’s absolute expectations …..

Another source tied to the transition described the resulting confusion as “buffoonery.”

So if you bet on calm, cool, professional, adult leadership in these perilous times, you lose again.

In Name-That-Cabinet, today’s leading contender is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, a man named after a Civil War general and President of the Confederacy, for Attorney General.  Alabama’s contribution to the Build A Wall movement, Sessions was also turned down for a federal judgeship during the Reagan administration for racist statements while prosecuting African Americans in Alabama.

Hey, at least they are fighting each other instead of playing the with Nuke button.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Google and Facebook Act On Fake News – Just a Tad Too Late

November 15, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election

Yesterday, both Google and Facebook announced they were updating their policies and algorithms in an attempt to stem the rising tide of crappola posing as real news on their websites.  That would have been a really good idea – LAST YEAR.  As we all witnessed, fake news sites that were intentionally mis-informing voters google-facebookexploded on social media during this election cycle peddling fake stories that likely swayed voters, especially the ones sparking outrage over controversies that didn’t actually occur.  The two social media companies are attempting to limit the proliferation of fake news by banning ads for those sites.  The new policies will not affect viral growth of falsehoods, so this is only a partial step.

I find it very interesting that these steps are being taken after the damage has already been done, giving a lift to Cheeto Jesus, the worst presidential candidate in US history.  This has been a problem obvious to even the most casual observer in recent years, and, in fact, the New York Times reported on how Facebook content pushers were making serious money on sponsored posts last July. So it’s certainly no surprise this has been going on for some time.

I’m certain the delay in implementing this policy after the election had nothing to do with the profits pouring into Google and Facebook from all these ads peddling BS, right?

Yeah, right.

Two Pigs in a Poke

November 14, 2016 By: El Jefe Category: 2016 Election, Trump

New Appointments to Lead White House Staff

New Appointments to Lead White House Staff

Yesterday, Cheeto Jesus appointed his two top strategists for the coming January 20th Apocalypse.  What was striking about these appointments was not only their similarity – they’re both well known pigs; but also their differences – outside pig versus inside pig.  The outside pig is Steve Bannon, CEO of that den of serial liars called Breitbart “News”; the inside pig is RNC chairman and serial loudmouth, Reince Priebus.  Cheeto Jesus couldn’t have chosen a worse pair to run the White House except for maybe someone like Hannibal Lector or Freddy Krueger.  The choice of these two characters is shocking, but not surprising.

(more…)